this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026

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-56

Would you consider it predatory if a 30 year old woman was hanging out with people aged 20-29 because she has a mental age of 20 due to being in a coma for 10 years? (lemmy.cafe)

submitted 4 months ago by Stacyasks@lemmy.cafe to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

24 comments fedilink hide all child comments

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[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 46 points 4 months ago

I wouldn't consider it predatory without the coma either.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 41 points 4 months ago (1 children)

A 30-year old woman hanging out with people who are 20-29?

That's extremely predatory, especially with the 29 year olds. A 29 year old is basically just a child, and at the age of 30, she should be well aware of that, despite the coma. It's creepy and gross for a 30 year old to hang out with a 29 year old. In fact, once you turn 30, you should probably never speak to or look at anyone even slightly younger than yourself, just to be safe. Be sure to say goodbye to any younger siblings before your 30th birthday -- you won't be seeing them for a while. Personally, a 30 year old tried to hang out with me once while I was 29, and it was absolutely devastating. I'm still in therapy because of that, even a decade afterwards. My therapist says I'm making great progress! However, she's 33 and I'm 39, and my birthday is just about a week from now, so obviously I won't be able to go back to therapy for the next 7 years or so.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

THIS. If you are 50 and you talk to a 49 year old, Chris Hansen is gonna show up to your house disguised as a pizza delivery person.

Don't do it!

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ah, I see you speak from experience.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

She looked old for her age!

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

No just like last time you asked.

https://lemmy.world/post/45101527

[–] Cherry@piefed.social 25 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Feels like some kinda ai training. There’s been lots of these on here lately, where hypothetical questions are asked and then 1/2 slight variances of it is asked within hours.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I think it's the same idiot who

A. Think age gaps are wrong.
B. Think heros are actually villains because they keep their identity a secret or prefer a powered child over a non powered one. And
C. Thinks rich people don't date poor people.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I have the same suspicion. That person's old account hasn't been active for a while

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I want to agree with you.

But there are people who are this stupid and paranoid... i have met them in real life and they talk/think/ask questions just like this.

they are typically deeply insecure and have a tenuous grasp of reality, often due to having an extremely sheltered upbringing

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 3 points 4 months ago

Seriously what is this, lazy trolling?

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 months ago

TIL my wife is a predator. At some point while we were dating, she made the absolutely disgusting move of turning 30 on my sweet, innocent little 29 year old self.

Oh God. How could I let it get this bad?

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 months ago

Lmao, what the fuck are you trying to pull here?

[–] chonkyninja@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

No.

[–] Nikelui@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

No, even without coma.

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 6 points 4 months ago

That's not how comas work

[–] 7uWqKj@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

What consenting adults do in their bedroom is none of your fucking business

[–] quediuspayu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 months ago

Depends on the brand of glue she is adding to the dough, some brands are too sticky.

[–] Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 1 points 4 months ago

a 30 year old woman was hanging out

Nobody can tell, obviously, until you show a picture of her while she's hanging there.

[+] Jaegeras@piefed.social -1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

[deleted]

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

18 being the magic age where you become an adult is a social construct. Maturity comes gradually. I think it's fine for an over 18 to date an under 18 if they're close in age and neither is in a position of power over the other

[–] promitheas@programming.dev 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So where do you draw the line? What if a 19 year old dates a mature 14-15 year old? Is that OK in your book, assuming theres jo significant power difference (if you agree its ok, explain your system of measuring 'power difference')?

Just because the specific number 18 is a social construct doesnt mean it should be a free for all. We do live in a society after all, and need to draw the line somewhere. Also, because in most countries (sans the US where you can drive at 16, go to war at 18, but only drink at 21) there is a definite line between adult and non-adult(the specific day you turn 18). This is necessary, even if it is a bit ridiculous that im not allowed to do certan things 24 hours before my 18th birthday.

In my country, and most if im not mistaken, if 2 underage people are dating, no one expects them to "pause" their relationship as soon as the older of the 2 crosses the threshold of adulthood, until the younger also crosses it. But if an adult starts a relationship with someone underage, thats not OK, abd you beed to have a cincrete definition of what 'underage' is, abd when exactly that is.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You seem quite angry with me. You didn't even stop to proofread.

What I meant by power imbalance was people shouldn't date if, for instance, one person is the other persons teacher or boss. Which applies even if both are over 18.

And I think it's fine for a 19 year old to date someone 2 or 3 years younger than them. It's hard to pin down exactly what an acceptable age difference is. In some countries the rule is at a certain age you can consent with people up to two years older and at a certain age, people up to five years older

[–] promitheas@programming.dev 2 points 4 months ago

You seem quite angry with me. You didn't even stop to proofread.

Drinks were drunk, and editing on mobile with my fat fingers is a pain 😅😂. Also, not angry, sorry if it came across that way.

As for the rest of your comment, I disagree about the consent being ok based on the age difference, but agree about the power imbalance part. The acceptable age difference in my opinion is:

If both people are underage, a 2 year difference sounds reasonable as you said (but only if both are underage at the start of the relationship, otherwise grooming). If both are adults, have at it, get with a 70 year old the day after you turn 18 if you wish.

My point is Im personally staunchly against separating and mixing different ages for being legally able to do different stuff. While not how nature works, laws need to be written in such a way that they apply the same to everyone, so even if I mature/develop my brain 5 years after you do for example, we both need to have the threshold age be the same for adulthood. Once thats understood and agreed upon, we now need to determine what said threshold age will be. I brought up the example of the USA in my comment above, where they are legally allowed to drive, die/kill for the government, and drink at different ages. I believe youre either an adult or not, at least in the eyes of the law (or at least thats how it should be)

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social -2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

right, we should also throw anyone under 18 who has sex with anyone else, no matter their age, in jail.