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[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 90 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

"Masturbating before sleep is how I fall asleep. Don't they want real world data?"

"Ok but do you normally stare directly into a scientist's eyes while jerking it?"

[-] vrek@programming.dev 28 points 4 months ago

Yes but I'll admit the flicking of my tongue and licking my lips are not normally done.

[-] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 months ago
[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 4 months ago

Whoa...

What's jerking off in 4 dimensions like? :O

[-] Murse@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 months ago

Length, width, depth, and duration. Everything you do is in 4 dimensions!

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I don't have duration. Johnny Come Instantly is what they call me.

[-] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

You used to be Johnny Come LATEly but then you found your kink

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 4 months ago

It's actually axial rotation

[-] suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus 12 points 4 months ago

Yes that's ideal. And I know this is my 50th sleep study. I needed another one, and I will continue taking them. Yes, my insurance quit on me long ago, I don't care how much this costs, JUST TAKE MY MONEY, HOOK ME UP AND LOOK ME IN THE EYE

[-] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 months ago

"No, I usually stare into the photo of my deceased grandparents."

[-] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

They are in a different room. Idk if they have cameras though.

[-] conartistpanda@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Five nights at jorker's

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 33 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I have had a holter monitor strapped to me twice; the first time, a totally typical day, including the usual freaky shit. The second, I was better prepared and came before the appointment.

As far as I'm aware there wasn't a meaningf difference in the results. And jerking it might give better, more accurate results, if it's a regular scheduled activity.

It's not like you'd be the first one to do it. If you like an audience, even better. If you've got it, flaunt it.

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I had a full sleep study done that included a holter (and a microphone, lol). I did consider exactly that, but all the wires made it a pain in the ass just getting up to pee, let alone getting freaky

[-] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 7 points 4 months ago

How about exercising with the monitor? Like if that's part of my regular day.

Never have had holter monitor, but few of my friends said they need to stand still while it measures. That would make working out kinda harder.

[-] fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net 6 points 4 months ago

They give you a little diary to write down stuff like that.

[-] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 1 points 4 months ago
[-] fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net 3 points 4 months ago

Also your friends are like… wrong about the standing still part, no idea why they told you that. It’s basically just a portable EKG attached to your body that you wear while going about your normal day.

[-] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 1 points 4 months ago

They might have been joking or it could have been some odd recommendation from the doctor.

[-] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Or they were talking about something else like a regular EKG. Anyway, exercise with a holter should be fine, showering with a holter might be a little annoying or not even possible unless you get new contact pads.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

I was told both times, absolutely no showering or bathing. Maybe for the 72h one they give you new pads to swap out?

[-] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 months ago

Probably not, I suppose most people would put the pads in the wrong positions. Also sleeping with a holter was super annoying.

[-] protist@retrofed.com 1 points 4 months ago

Most sleep studies take place in a visually observed room at a doctor's office

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 10 points 4 months ago

This changes nothing

[-] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

You mean an audience?

[-] GorGor@startrek.website 3 points 4 months ago

I've been given some equipment that recorded my breathing and heartrate (little tubes near my mouth and nose, chest strap). just check em out and return them the next day.

[-] bus_factor@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

In those cases you should do your bedtime routine before turning it on, though. The jerking is clearly part of the bedtime routine here.

[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago

A Friend of my spouse was in hospital and awaiting surgery (a stint or bypass it something) he was very bored and decided to rub one out on the toilet.

He was still connected to the heart monitor, though, so whilst he was at it the nurse came to the door and ask him if everything was ok. This ruined his immersion and thus could not finish so then he was bored and slightly blue balled

[-] Rooster326@programming.dev 5 points 4 months ago
[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

The sexual fantasy whilst chugging on his wang

[-] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

His hospital toilet kink

[-] Grass@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 months ago

weird timing for me to see this. my appointment is tomorrow.

[-] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 27 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Bring lube, like a very large container of it clearly labeled. Ensure everyone sees it and refuse to acknowledge it. It's just your "bedtime supplies".

[-] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

If it's not a 55 gallon drum, don't even bother bringing it.

[-] nforminvasion@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Personally, I find that just submerging yourself in it is far more effective than putting it on from the nozzle.

[-] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

Don't forget the single application attachment for only 3.99 more !

[-] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It's a sign. Destiny!

[-] Drusas@fedia.io 5 points 4 months ago

Before reading the comic, I assumed "B" meant "bitches".

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago

I mean... That's part of the study.

this post was submitted on 11 May 2026
672 points (99.0% liked)

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