As a clarification, the real time line is like 400 million years ago or so
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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Put a pin in that and we'll circle back to it.
Hang on, I’ll run it up the flag pole
I'll run you up my flagpole 😏
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yeah, some asshole fish climbed out of the ocean 35 million years ago and now we have time as a concept.
35 million years ago the dinosaurs had been gone for 30 million years. The Eifelian period where vertebrates were first on land was about 319 million years ago. If you use days instead of years that's a difference of days that's like saying I pissed in my bed a month ago, when in fact it was almost and entire year ago. You see, I've had issues with my bladder recently. I believe it was an infection, but the doctor says it was just some irritation. He put me on some medicine and it does help, but I think it will clear up on its own either way.
What does that have to do with the nineteen ninety-eight Hell in a Cell match?
Don't let this distract you from the fact
🤣🤣
Don't blame the land fish. If it had stayed underwater we'd just be having meetings there.
That's why they call a group of fish a school.
In a parallel universe: staff meetings, but underwater.
Meanwhile, whales.
Some of the fish were smart enough to get back into the water. We weren't. It's on us.
Whales and dolphins at least managed to save themselves.
Well.. that timeline does match up better with Jesus riding a velociraptor
Covid proved this often superfluous content can either be in an email or consumed from home on Teams, with a peppy chat sidebar.
There’s a new manager who keeps trying to make them in person. She was angry only 4 people out of 40 showed up to the last one.
Lady, I’m not here to validate your power point creation. That, and I can watch your little slide show at home, in yoga pants, with hot tea, while watching deer out my window.
As the British so aptly put it: sod off.
Thanks to *her
350 million would be closer.
Nah, the fish crawled out of the ocean just to escape some bullshit meeting with the other fish.
It was the same with the trees. There’s no escaping.
It's why we put so much money into space travel. You can do pretty much everything you need to do with robots, but that's not the point. The point is to get out of bullshit meetings.
"Houston is on comms and wants to discuss the status of the mission". Fuck it, let's fly this thing into the nearest black hole.
Understandable really
Some Gen Z is furious about this.
Can we just go back in time and evolve into a crab instead
*forward in time
Just be patient. It's inevitable.
Admittedly, we are now significantly less likely to be dismembered by much larger fish.
Or 8 foot sea scorpions.
Or, in the case of whales, drown and sink to the bottom of the ocean.
It was likely a her
You're off by a couple zeroes.
Just one really...
Dinosaurs existed like 700M YBP right?
Nope. The first land vertebrate evolved about 340MYA. 700MYA was a whole lot of nothing. The first plants and fungi to colonize land evolved about 440MYA. Before then, the earth probably looked a lot like Mars. It wasn't until mosses and lichen came along that we even got dirt instead of sand/gravel. Dinosaurs didnt really show up until 250MYA
35 million?
A whole ass-fish
Yeah yeah. If only some asshole mud puddle hadn't decided to come alive we'd all have been spared so much trouble. 🙄
Wrong, it was a prawn