this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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top 21 comments
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[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 51 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can always tell a violet post before seeing the username

[–] titter@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Rather have violets in my posts than roses on my grave, some days...

[–] Danarchy 47 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Every day I wake up and I let my watersub out of its fridgecage “have u been a good several trillion molecules while zaddy slept” i say “yes” they reply “yes what” I say “zaddy! Yes zaddy” but it is too late they have earned their corrective action so it’s out of the Brita and into the electric kettle for some steamplay “what happens to water molicussys that forget the rules?” I ask but they are already screaming with the boiling extacy of pain and pleasure knowing I have even bigger plans for them in the form of the glass and steel French press. Soon you will be hot and dirty just like you deserve, liquislut

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Only a human could have written this.

[–] Danarchy 2 points 3 weeks ago

Only a human can know the thirst for coffee and obedience

[–] davetortoise@reddthat.com 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

The flame of life and ingenuity burns bright in a void of soulless mimickry, a twinkling hope that, in spite of the machinery of capital feverishly labouring to churn humanity from humans, the vibrantly corporeal imperative to fuck something - anything, beyond the most improbable calculations of the machine-minds - can never be vanquished

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

sigh

Unzips

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago

A group of subs should be called a puddle

[–] viertesauge@feddit.org 31 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I would never position myself under a glass of water, let alone raise my chin. I drink my water in the straightest way possible, from a long hard thick moist straw like a real man.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

i also bob the straw in and out of my mouth the entire length of the straw, because I am eco-friendly and don't want to waste my drink.

[–] Rumo161@feddit.org 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Im already horny all the time. How am i supposed to live my life if i sexualise even the things im bad at (like regulary drinking water i guess 😐)

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Im already horny all the time.

Same.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

"That's my secret, I'm always horny."

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 weeks ago

I always thought "hydrohomies" (and other phrases for the same group) should have been called Water Sluts.

Missed opportunity, really

[–] dan1101@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I ain't no water slut I will die of thirst.

that's why after i take a drink i make sure sure to make that refreshed sound of the tonque click into "aaaaahhhh."

i make sure do it even more loudly at restaurants so everyone knows how tasty the water there is.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

please don't edgemaxx me while i'm drinking 3AM nightwater. The 3AM nightwater is sexy enough.

[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Most humiliation stuff makes me want to die.

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 1 points 3 weeks ago

What about food?