this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

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[–] meejle@piefed.world 194 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I'm autistic and this would really simplify things tbh

[–] Cremisi@lemmy.world 42 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Right? I don't usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)

No, be yourself. If that gets you labeled weird by them, then it's their loss. Wasn't going to be a compatible relationship anyway.

[–] Cavemanfreak@programming.dev 13 points 4 days ago

Hey, weird does not automatically mean bad. The people I most like to hang with are really weird people.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

I would be enthusiastic and honored if you approached me like that

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago

Same, and I basically just actually do this.

...would probably have to be drunk to do the last line, though.

Why do I do this?

If you find that intro immensely offputting... I will likely find you immensely insufferable.

Communication still works two ways, even if the normies play by different rules.

[–] YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf 130 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

The inigo montoya style:

Step 1: Give a polite greeting.

Step 2: State your name.

Step 3: Establish a personal connection.

Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

[–] starik@lemmy.today 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

FYI,
You can do single line
breaks on Lemmy. Just
put 2 spaces at the end
of a line before the Enter.

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[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.

All I can say is it works.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 67 points 4 days ago (3 children)

That's basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.

"I'm Chilie. I'm a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?"

[–] clif@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (3 children)

It's funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I'm a City Planner.

We're always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we're both interested in the other's career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.

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[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

They get very agitated when they learn their server is in a basement located in a floodway.

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 10 points 4 days ago (4 children)

An hour later, I trod the same path.

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[–] deft@lemmy.wtf 6 points 2 days ago

Just add "but I like that" at the end with a wink and you're running baby

[–] artifex@piefed.social 54 points 4 days ago

This would be amazing.

[–] vane@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let's fuck.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

No joke, I've had this happen.

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

You need to elaborate

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah. She pegged me then we did it against a wall.

[–] SpankyDoodle@eviltoast.org 3 points 3 days ago

Where do I find this in my life?

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

I mean, "your ass looks nice let's fuck" is basically what some ppl do. lol

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 43 points 4 days ago

Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 39 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.

[–] prex@aussie.zone 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

What was the interesting fact?

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's terrible but I don't remember, over time was replaced by her pretty face in my brain.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Maybe it was "Pterosaurs are sneaky in the bathroom because their pee is silent. "

Spock played a key role in their extinction.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Know what? Next time I ask a woman out...

"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"

(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 27 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don't have to guess, and you're putting forward a suggestion of what to do.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Tbh, it feels way more honest and real than most guys cheesy pickup lines. I'd probably engage with someone who approached me like that.

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[–] LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"Hi, I'm George Kastanza, I'm 38 and I live with my parents."

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[–] Hupf@feddit.org 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 7 points 3 days ago
[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!

[–] Typotyper@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago (6 children)

But I don't need to have everyone tell me I'm bald. I know this. Tell me something nice.

[–] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Kid is not being mean, it's just unfiltered observation

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 3 points 3 days ago

You're really bald. And I really like it.

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[–] fletcher_bosom@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago

My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.

[–] diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How else are you supposed to do that if at all? /genq

[–] deft@lemmy.wtf 2 points 2 days ago

Play weird social volleyball where you can't be too interested or straightforward and hide your true intentions?

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 18 points 4 days ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago

I.. would love this idea.

[–] pedantichedgehog@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 days ago (4 children)

This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?

Picture it: "hi I'm Hedgehog what's your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus"

Unfortunately now I'm an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.

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[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

No, you’re bald, Katie and my dad can beat up your dad.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 11 points 4 days ago

I love the idea of two grown ass adults in their 50s standing on the side line as their 80+ year old dads charge at each other with their walkers/walking frames/rolators.

[–] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 3 points 3 days ago

hi im kate i like cheese and the shark pillow from ikea

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