I didn’t find the little dumbass in the trash, but my nephew did, then he showed up at my door with a sob story and an idiot cat. He thought me seeing the skinny, hungry, idiot street rat of an animal with his big dumb eyes and stupid clipped ear and how affectionate he was that I wouldn’t be able to say no because he “nEeDS a GooD hOmE, hE’s sOOO tHin anD hUngRy, WiNTeR iS cOMiNg,” and I “hAvE a HeaRt ANd LOvE aNimALs aNd wOuLD tAKe gOOd cAre oF hIm,” like a dumbass.
I hate that he was right.


