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Picky eaters of Lemmy: Why? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

I just overheard a coworker saying “Oh, I would never try that in my life!”, in a discussion of food. (This was about consuming a steak cooked less than medium well). It made me wonder what life is like for those who refuse to try new food, especially those who refuse to try mundane things like fried shrimp.

Why limit yourself? It seems like such a closed-minded way to view food. Help me understand?

EDIT:

I wasn’t going to do this, but I’m tired of replying to people and will post this at the top.

The person that prompted this question is a close-minded piece of crap. He has no sensory issues, just a shitty mindset, with ignorance and prejudice on display with no shame. I have the pleasure of hearing his annoying shit every night.

The knee-jerk reactions I have received from people in this post have had me examine my own knee-jerk reactions, attributing malice to that which may be misunderstanding rather than bigotry or hatred. This is what I am taking away from this post. That even I should take a chill pill every now and again; it’s not all a tragedy.

I will not delete it, because there are some very thoughtful replies that explain different viewpoints, that people took time to type out. It would be disrespectful to them to do that.

Call me what you like. Don’t care. I will not be replying to any other replies.

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[-] determinist@kbin.earth 112 points 1 week ago

Autism.

Textures & temperatures are problematic. I stay with what I know so minimise the chance of freaking out.

[-] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Autistic and the total opposite here for home cooking. The (allegedly greater) magnitude of those flavors and textures makes trying new things so enjoyable that it's worth the risk.

That said, I used to be similar, having a rotation of a few select meals; I'd get "hooked" on a specific food for an unreasonably long time. But nowadays, I get the benefits of both.

I make whatever at home because I know exactly what's going into it and roughly how it'll taste, and I'm naturally limited to a few vegan options at restaurants so I can live the dream of having one or two favorites I get every time. It's a win–win.

[-] CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

On the spectrum myself and I am a foodie with an insatiable apetite for new and interesting. My general rule is if it was good enough for them, it's good enough for me. I don't always like everything, but I'll try anything.

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[-] daggermoon@piefed.world 68 points 1 week ago

I'll eat my own cum but won't touch ranch dressing. Do with that what you will.

[-] lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 week ago

I… okie dokie.

[-] shartgargle@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 week ago

That's more than enough information, thank you.

[-] Janx@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago

Please, tell me less.

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[-] Cytobit@piefed.social 46 points 1 week ago

Disgust is an emotional response. No one can choose their emotions.

[-] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 week ago

Choose? No.

Adjust over time? Maybe.

[-] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Uh, yes, in fact thats one of the truly few things in life that you have absolute choice and power over, is your emotions and how you react to things. Most people learn emotional regulation as children.

[-] __hetz@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's arguable. Setting aside determinism or whatever, what it appears we can choose is our actions (in response to our emotions). Not the emotions themselves. I'm not sure I could any more choose to be happy if a beloved pet died than I can choose what my eyes see when I look a particular direction. I might be able to filter those inputs through my own perceptions moments after the experience but that initial reaction is instantaneous and, as far as I can tell, uncontrolled.

Put another way: if some drunk shitbag, flying down the street, runs over my cat - my initial response is going to be some combination of horror, rage and sorrow all wrapped up in a sense of panic. Whatever I choose to tell myself after the fact, in an attempt to alter that state, will be reliant on me convincing myself of it before (or rather if) my emotional state can then change. Maybe I say to myself "at least Mittens was spared the pain of old age, organ failure and a slow death" and that silver lining is enough to curb the rage and reduce the sadness. Maybe it's not. Either way it's post hoc to the initial, visceral reaction.

Another example might be what's humorous to you. Something "dark" or morbid might leave you in a laughing fit where it would leave others aghast. I don't think either of us can choose that. I certainly can't choose to find Seinfeld funny.

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[-] krashmo@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

You absolutely can choose your emotions. It's sort of terrifying that people seem to agree with this statement.

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[-] MagisterSieran@discuss.tchncs.de 29 points 1 week ago

wHy LiMiT yOuRsElF

You think I want to live like this? That I’m choosing to? Bewildering.

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[-] cobysev@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago

Growing up, my family has always accused me of being a picky eater, and it comes up every time we're eating together. Every family get-together, it's always a big deal whether I'm going to eat the prepared meal or not. My sister especially likes to offer to make a separate meal just for me because I'm "sooo picky!"

I can't get it through their skulls that I'm less of a picky eater than they are - I'm just vocal about the very few specific foods I decided I don't like. Which happens to be in a lot of recipes my extended family makes.

I spent 20 years traveling the world with the US military and I made it a point to try local cuisine everywhere I went. I became a bit of a foodie, and some of my favorite foods are from foreign countries. Every time family members came to visit me in other countries, I'd spend half of their visit just introducing them to amazing cuisine in the local area.

We'd eat out practically every day to give them a taste of the local culture. And surprisingly, most of them didn't care for it. They wanted their "American food" instead. They weren't very adventurous when it came to trying new things. There's nothing worse than going to a ramen shop in Japan or a döner shop in Germany and having your family ask if we can go find a McDonald's instead.

But sure, I'm a picky eater because I've hated squash since I was a child, and that's apparently a staple of every family banquet.

[-] IWW4@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago

I can relate. My mom would make little snide comments about how i was a picky eater and how i would check everything i took out of the fridge.

One time i got sick of hearing it and biting my tongue so i went off.

I told her, her cooking was fucking terrible and she never cleaned out her fridge so there would always be rotting food in there. She was a Brit who grew up in that countries decade long depression.

[-] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 10 points 1 week ago

Hey same, except my mom's mom went through the depression here in the states and it rubbed off on her.

She loves to call out how particular I am about food, when actually I love trying new foods! I simply don't like getting food poisoning from whatever hot dish/casserole she made 4 months ago that has been sitting in the fridge. At Christmas one year she brought out canned whipped cream, rediwhip, and it was 3 years expired! I didn't notice and was sick for a week!

[-] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 week ago

It kinda sounds like they are intentionally putting squash in everything just for the opportunity to pick on you.

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[-] NathanDerWeise@feddit.org 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm a picky eater, but it's mostly because of texture-related issues. (However, I am also picky about flavors.) Wrong textures make me want to gag. I don't actually gag, because I've learned to suppress it.

I have no problem trying new things. I just often immediately hate the new things. However, I will try it again after enough time had passed. Sometimes, it will be prepared differently enough to be appetizing. Other times, I will start to like a flavor that I once hated. I have never had my texture preferences change.

Which texture do I hate? I call it the "wrong kind of mushy." It's hard to explain, because I do like some mushy foods. Mashed, baked, or boiled potatoes? Almost always gag inducing. Oatmeal? Wonderful. Hiding small amount of wrong mushy foods among foods with a better texture sometimes helps, but only if I like the flavor despite the mush.

Edit to add: I hate onions with a burning passion. Every way except powdered. Onions induce the strongest gag reflex, and many people think I'm weird for hating onions. I've come to hate the flavor of (anything but powdered) onion by association, so I often can't eat foods that once had onion in them even after being completely removed.

[-] joe@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have no problem trying new things. I just often immediately hate the new things. However, I will try it again after enough time had passed.

This is literally all you can do. People have very little control over what they like (be that food, music, movies, books, whatever) all anyone can do is be willing to try new things, and occasionally retry, the things they don't like.

I will eat pretty much anything, but strongly dislike carrots for their taste and oatmeal for its texture. I haven't have any occasion to retry oatmeal but I retry carrots pretty frequently.

[-] TheOctonaut@piefed.zip 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Boiled potatoes shouldn't be mushy. If you boil potatoes to mush, then you mash them. Mashed potatoes.

Boiled potatoes should be relatively firm. Closer to an apple than a banana.

Source: Irish

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[-] matelt@feddit.uk 27 points 1 week ago

I'm genuinely scared of eating eggs, don't know why I've always been like that even as a baby. The texture, the smell of plain eggs are just unbearable and if I eat a food that tastes eggy I might have a slight panic attack. Mushrooms as well, I hate them with a burning passion. Can't explain why.

[-] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Mushrooms as well, I hate them with a burning passion.

Mushrooms were completely disgusting to me until I realized it was white buttons and baby bellas that I hated. I discovered that what I really liked are enokis, shiitakes, and especially oysters. There's a world of difference in flavor and texture, and I still have to use them in the right meals.

If I could recommend one thing, the next time you make a sauce (I've found marinara sauce on pasta works well):

  • Take fresh oyster mushrooms (not referring to king oyster, but might work?).
  • Remove the cap (don't use the stem).
  • Finely shred it by hand.
  • Then put it in the sauce and cook.

When you tear it by hand and add it to sauce, the flavor is incredibly savory, and you don't feel the texture at all because it tears so finely.

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[-] TrapRag@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

If the texture/flavor triggers my gag reflex and I can't physically swallow, the question is not "why am I limiting myself?" but rather, "why would I attempt to abuse myself?"

Trying new food can be risky, its not cheap and if you cant eat it you just wasted your money and the food. Food also takes time to prepare which you may not have the time to make or order something else which then can snowball into larger issues. Not to mention the social pressure/judgment to finish a meal you wish you could force down your throat and getting accused of being dramatic and wasteful.

I like to try new foods here and there but I need to be able to get a small portion to avoid waste and know theres a back up I can eat to avoid skipping a meal altogether. It also needs to be with a crowd that I feel safe enough with not to get shat on if I cant eat it.

That being said I can only imagine making a blanket statement that I'd never try something if I already know it's very similar to something else that I can't eat.

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[-] Nighed@feddit.uk 23 points 1 week ago

For that example - I might go blind (or at least towards it) if I eat a rare steak. I keep having to send back burgers because they don't cook them through despite me requesting that.

[-] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago

Interesting, this is a medical issue? If so, do you feel like you are missing out? Or is it a “whatev” kind of thing?

[-] Nighed@feddit.uk 36 points 1 week ago

https://ophthalmologybreakingnews.com/ocular-toxoplasmosis--causes-treatment-and-prevention

Once you have it, exposure that your body would fight off can cause a reactivation or immune overreaction that causes problems.

I think I originally caught it as a child in the sand pit (cat poo). Reactivated it from a rare burger maybe as an adult that caused problems.

[-] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 week ago

Oh dang! Sorry to hear about that.

[-] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Jesus christ I hate cat shit so much

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[-] Glytch@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

I reject the tone of this question because I wasn't given a choice in my sensory issues and you turning it into a mortal judgement about me is fucked up.

[-] bananaa@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

It sucks that there’s not more awareness about ARFID. It took me a while to understand it and not judge people (usually autistic people) that have it.

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[-] cybervegan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Sounds like you're lucky enough to not have any sensory problems - you probably don't get overwhelmed by textures, flavours or smells. Not everyone is like that. You also don't seem to have any particular cultural or ethical concerns about your food choices. My family is vegan and very neurodivergent; none of us would ever consider steak or shrimp, for ethical reasons, and most of us have texture and flavour sensitivities that mean that certain foods are off limits for some of us. We generally buy within those parameters, but some of us really like things others really hate, so cooking can be a nightmare. In many cases, it's the texture of food that causes this - often borderline textures going from firm to soft, too granular, "wrong" like soft when should be crunchy etc.

But I bet you have some things you wouldn't try, based on cultural or texture preferences, which some people love. What about...

  • Soft biscuits (cookies) - baked crunchy, but have gone damp and soft?
  • Dry, stale bread - baked soft, but just dried out and stale?
  • Witchetty grubs - moth larvae from Australia?
  • Dog meat, eaten in some Asian countries?
  • Fermented shark meat, stinky and rank, eaten in some Nordic states?
  • Reindeer poo - traditional Finnish cuisine sometimes uses it?
  • Natto - stringy, slimy soya beans fermented by a bacteria, very strong flavour, popular in Asia, especially Japan?
  • Tempeh - soya beans colonised by a particular edible mould fungus, eaten widely in Asia?
  • Tofu - bean curd in various textures, but very little flavour, eaten widely by vegans and in Asia?
  • Furry tofu - tofu colonised by another edible mould fungus, eaten widely in Asia?
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[-] Doom@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Some foods taste like litteral dirt. It's a genetic quirk some people have. Beets, carrots, mushrooms, grapes, all taste like mud. I can't taste the "sweetness" at all. Nuts also have a chalky flavor, but I couldn't tell you why (strangely seeds, legumes, and beans are tasty af). Parsley tastes like soap. Licorice tastes like old socks. People like to attribute pickiness to the foods I don't like, but why should I force myself to eat dirt and soap? That doesn't stop me trying new things. Eel is delicious. Shrimp heads are meh. Dirty rice is great. Conch is fantastic. Lobster is bleh. Ostrich is gamey. Gator is good. ~~Fennel heads~~ fiddleheads are amazing. I'm always trying new foods, but when I turn my nose up at "normal" food with carrots, or nuts, or mushrooms I'm called "picky" because people are quick to throw out that word.

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[-] swelter_spark@reddthat.com 13 points 1 week ago

If I try to eat something I don't like, I'll throw up. It's a waste of money and food, and gross for anyone around me.

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[-] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 12 points 1 week ago

Some foods just make me gag. Don't know why. Of course my life would be fuller if I wasn't such a picky eater. And it did get much better with age. But some things I just cannot tolerate. I know that I'm allergic to shellfish. But that's just a small part of stuff I don't eat.

But I do like pineapple on pizza. Especially because uncooked pineapple likes to digest my mouth.

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[-] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 week ago

My girlfriend is really picky, a lot of it is the texture of foods making her uncomfy. Its really subconscious, and that impacts what you try because you already know what textures you don't like

[-] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

I was an extremely picky eater as a kid. The funny thing is how I became less picky after I went vegan (in my teens.) It tracks with how we lose taste sensitivity as we age - children have more taste buds than adults. It serves them because a lot of things that can be harmful are bitter (poisons are often bitter) or sour (spoiled food goes sour), and for a small child a small amount can be more dangerous than for an adult.

Anyway, as others have said, it's a combination of texture, smell, and taste. Being a "super taster" isn't as fun as it sounds - it means a smaller amount of flavor can seem stronger for you, and can easily become overwhelming. I still prefer bland foods sometimes for that reason. Light seasoning can go a long way. Texture can be awful or amazing, sometimes I crave a food not for its taste, but for its texture. As I noted in another comment, mushrooms have a texture that repels me. Eggplant also has a texture I struggle to tolerate, but I put up with it when somebody prepares something for me with it (occasionally people prepare vegan foods to help me feel included, but they don't usually know my texture issues and I don't want to be rude.) Hell, half of what drove me to veganism was texture, smell, and taste-based - a lot of animal products have textures, smells, and tastes that I couldn't tolerate when I was a kid and made to eat them.

Eggs smell awful, and the fat from meats have a texture that was too much for me. I remember sitting at the dinner table and cutting all the "fat" from my meats just to isolate a single square to eat... but my parents made me sit there and told me to eat the whole thing, even if we sat at the dinner table for hours. I never liked bacon, and I know the internet hates me for that (well, they already hate me for being vegan, but still), since it's pretty much all fat even if it's crispy. The smell does it no help, either. A lot of people enjoy the smell of cooking meat, but I never did. The closest thing would be chicken, but ever since I had pet birds, it became awful, too - ever smell a bird up close? They smell like warm chicken. Once that smell became associated with my pets, whom I lost too soon (they were only two years old, victims to teflon poisoning) I only think of them. Giving up meat was part of my closure after they died - it brought me a peace that I needed, and has continued giving it ever since.

Please be kind to so-called "picky eaters." Their sensory experiences are outside of their control. Don't do like my parents did and try to force it, as that helps nobody. If you want to introduce a picky kid to a new food, be gentle and start slow. That's how we do it at my job (working with autistic children, some which have extremely restricted diets that don't provide proper nutrition.) It starts with tolerating it being on their plate, then progresses over time to them touching it, then to putting it to their lips, and only after all that do we encourage them to try a piece. It can take months. But if it's something they absolutely won't tolerate near them, just try something else - there can be very valid reasons they don't want a particular food, but thankfully there are a lot of options out there.

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[-] noxypaws@pawb.social 11 points 1 week ago

I will actually skip a meal, or leave an event to buy my own food, instead of eating food that I don't like.

When the alternative is actually and literally fighting against revulsion and gag reflex and nausea, or getting my hands and face dirty with food that can't be eaten cleanly, why would I subject myself to that if I'm not literally starving?

Best example I can think of is a work trip last year for which I marked myself "vegan" instead of "vegetarian" for meal restrictions. One outing had a bunch of pizzas ordered. The only meatless pizza had mushrooms. I hate mushrooms on pizza and the act of picking ingredients off of pizza is so degrading and so disgusting, not to mention they still leave their tastes behind anyways, so I just went out of pocket and got food somewhere else after I left.

Always been like this. Arguably I've put a ton of effort into trying new foods and I've been lucky to have traveled to a lot of foreign countries - I've had live grilled abalone (which I regret every part of), century eggs (tasty as fuck, would eat again), have developed a decent spice tolerance too (not easy growing up in the midwest USA :P). But some stuff still just is forever gross to me.

Also, fuck sandwiches and burgers that fall apart in your hands or have things fall or slide out or liquids or sauces drip stuff while you bite down. I am so repulsed and irritated by this that I feel actual rage.

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[-] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Every now and then I'll eat food that I didn't like the last time I tried them. I still don't like pickles, mustard, eggplant, etc. and might never like them. There are other foods I don't like the texture of, e.g. seafood with rubbery textures. There are other foods I don't try because they just sound fucking gross, e.g. chicken feet. I understand the arguments for trying chicken feet, but it's a psychological thing preventing me from trying them. My brain just doesn't want a fucking chicken foot in my mouth. There are other foods that I've tried and might have even enjoyed, but I don't want to create more demand for that food for one reason or another. I'm fond of ducks. Ducks taste good, but I want ducks to live. I'm increasingly fond of cows, which are delicious, so I rarely eat beef now. I've had foie gras and I will never have it again. Geese are assholes but they don't deserve what humans do to them in order to make foie gras.

[-] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Why would I force myself to eat something I will not enjoy. I will try a bit but I am not lrdering stuff I don't like the sound of.

Sometimes the smell which often relates to taste is the first indicator of something tasting not to my liking but if I know I don't like something (eg mushrooms, I hate those, both taste and texture) I am not willing to try anything involving large quantitiey of said foodstuff

[-] remon@ani.social 8 points 1 week ago

There is plenty of food that I like, so I don't really see a reason to eat something I don't enjoy or try something that doesn't seem appealing.

[-] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago

Imo the modern picky eater is a byproduct of food abundance. Acquired tastes were pretty necessary for survival until fairly recently. That said for the life of me I cannot make natto palatable no matter how hard I try

[-] Zarobi@aussie.zone 8 points 1 week ago

I dunno if this counts, but I have a lot of medical problems, that react badly to food. Stuff like prediabetes, fat malabsorption, salt sensitivity, carb sensitivity, actual allergies, etc, the list goes on. I genuinely cannot remember all the specific rules on what I'm allowed to eat, I have to consult a spreadsheet on my phone. Even then, sometimes I make a mistake and eat something I shouldn't because it has this one ingredient I didn't consider.

Basically, if I eat anything, there's a pretty good chance it will fuck me up and I'll have a really bad time. So I just don't eat anything new and stick to trusted foods only. It's terrifying to try new things when it often ends badly, and for what? Just a bit of fun? No thanks, hospital retroactively cancels out any fun.

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[-] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 8 points 1 week ago

I tried a lot of stuff, and a lot of it ended with me throwing up, or coming close.. there's just certain textures I can't handle and certain flavours don't enjoy, so seeing anything that is similar to something I know I won't like makes me less willing to try it, especially because trying new food usually entails either spending money on it, which then makes me feel horrible for throwing it out if I can't handle it, or makes me feel like I have to force it down; or it involves someone buying/making the food for me, in which case I have a similar situation where I don't want to offend them, so it's easier just to say I don't want to try something or im not hungry etc. and avoid it in the first place

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this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2026
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