Boomer solution to having a child out of wedlock: lies and shame.

Millennial solution to having a child out of wedlock: who gives a shit and why was that even a thing?

pretty common to be honest. I was about 10 years old when I realized three months of my brothers gestation was missing from my parents marriage. I brought it up and my mom just chuckled and told me I'm a smart boy...too smart for my own good.

they weren't lying for your sake. probably for their friends/family.

My older siblings remember seeing photos of my parents getting married around the house growing up. I don't because one of my siblings noticed my oldest sibling in the photos and started asking questions. Rather than explain anything, they just took down all the wedding photos.

Shame is a powerfully dumb emotion sometimes.

So you merely deduced it was most likely him? If only your son understood you didn't know and said "Shut up, he doesn't know whether it was me" instead.

yup. After five years i admitted to my parents "hey remember the time i came home late from blahblahblah in high school and said i got ice cream? it's because i got the car stuck on a really big rock and we had to pry it off. it would have gone easy if DAD HADN'T STOLEN MY CAR'S JACK OUT OF MY CAR. that's why i was grumpy about the jack after ice cream. but we got a good video out of it"

we ended up having to move the rock like 40 feet to get my car out from on top of it, and it has not moved to this day. big ol' rock, size of a desk.

Tbf the only "person" hurt there was a car dealer. As far as I'm concerned that's positive karma right there.

I had a brief period as a child where I pissed in the vents. My logic was its a hole so therefore the pee is gone.

My parents got a good laugh when I told them. Apparently my dad was trying to find the source of that smell for a bit

nah, you just need to go on the offensive when the lies fall apart and never admit fault.

works all the time.

better than you being someone else's biological son, which is not uncommon.

Now remember, first babies cook fast. they might only take six or seven months. the rest all take 9.

that's what we tell everyone with a wink if we ever figure that math out for someone

I don't think people necessarily enjoy lying as much as they enjoy the peace that is earned by telling the lie. People, especially those who grew up with strict parents, are conditioned to lie early on. If you are caught lying about something bad you did, you are going to get punished. If you tell the truth about the bad thing you did, you get punished. If you will be punished either way, why not lie? A rational person quickly learns that lying is almost always preferable to the truth, because sometimes you get away with it.

If you are good at it, and you lie convincingly enough, it becomes second nature to manage people's perceptions through a web of misinformation, feigned ignorance, half-truths, and strategic omissions.

Lying is socially expedient.

It's easier on every front and makes everyone happier. That's why people do it.

The negative consequences of it are often far off and in the future. In that way it's sort of like having poor life habits... you don't pay the consequences till much later.

And the negative social consequences for being truthful are usually immediate.

wild to me you don't?

I don't know about you, but my parents were very stupid people and basically everything in their life was a lie, so it made no sense to every tell them the truth about anything. Any remotely truthful thing said to them would result in them freaking out and screaming. so eventually I just learned lie to them all the time and it was just easier and our relationship was a lot more chill. I figured this out probably around 15/16 and kept it up until they died. I never had a honest conversation with my parents my entire life since I was like 14.

and a lot of people live their lives that way. not everyone, sure. I'm truthful to people who aren't my family, but even then it often doesn't go over well because well, most folks only want to hear comforting lies, and they adore people that lie to them far more than they adore people who are truthful. I've also been on the flipside in a 'good' relationship, that was all built on the other person constantly lying to me.

Not everyone can hear people's critical/negative opinions of them are not take it personally. Like, the among of people I've had that kind of relationship with is probably less than 10. But people I have known who require you to lie to them (or other people) to maintain a relationship with them or there is never going to be a relationship? 100s. Like most of my friendships/relationships have ended because I told them the truth or found out they were lying to me about something major, and every single time do you think the other person thinks they were the problem? No. I was the problem.

Most social relationships are entirely built on lies and could not function without them, including intimate ones between friends and family.