I'm much more of the "what does Costco have" kinda guy

Speak for yourself. I'm a dude and currently smell like oranges and lavender

I'd love to buy a body wash that isn't marketed to people that want to fuck sharks for the government.

Agree except for passion fruit. Passion fruit only goes well in POG... Passion Orange Guava. I has all three separately as a kid and never had the audacity to cross the streams. But when I last visited Hawaii, POG was their drink. It's like salsa in Mexico or Mexico ketchup at McDonalds. POG is Hawaii and passion belongs there. Passion fruit in a deodorant... Hmmm, start with passion fruit as a basic thing that is food. If I was stranded in a small island full of passion fruit vines I would rip up the vines to go fish. I'm vegan, but I cannot be fed passion fruit. I have an extreme disdain for the aftertaste. I think I'm ok with the initial taste. But add orange and guava and things start looking good. But as a deodorant? How about a banana? Peal it and stick it up your armpits? Hmmm... Don't know man.

me spending a bunch of time and money to find and buy unscented stuff:

The gender product grift is laughable. And yet people eat it up. I couldn’t believe the first time I saw these at almost 2x markup of regular unscented baby wipes:

What the fuck does an F-16 smell like?

Me wearing lavender mint deodorant:

Tactical body wash with essence of slaughterhouse, IPAs at the axe throwing place, and gym floor mats covered in sweat from the bois.

Apparently, women are supposed to smell like things while men are supposed to smell like concepts.

This is always such a bullshit. The products marketed at men are ALWAYS either "deep cedar - smell like your granddad!" or "SUPER ICE ARCTIC FRESH!!!!!!!"

Before I learned to ignore it completely, I was constantly stuck between two equally terrible options.

My deodorant apparently smells of "dry impact" and I guess, the color red...?

As in, they have another deodorant in the shops of the same brand, identical description on the label, except it uses blue as the highlight color and it says "dry active" instead.

Like, those pictures are way too concrete in the meme. I just get to smell like concepts.

I buy manly vanilla or citrus deodorant because I am a manly man.

As a woman, I just want to smell like trees with a bit of floral or musky undertones. My taste in scents is my butchest aesthetic