excruciatingly so. paycheck endingly so.

For decades!

It's agonizing. I want to do the things, like say bake bread but I'm not moving. Why am I not moving? Body? Body!!

Daily.

I do, yes

I’m doing that now

Yes, I just had a conversation with myself about this very thing three minutes ago.

yes, and it's biological. I get it from my mom. she would wait til all of her work piled up and then get through it in a flurry the night before. I do the same thing, except I am now at the level where some of my professional work product takes more than 12 hours to complete. it's been a problem, and nothing helps.

My issue right now is specifically task initiation. I've done therapy and I'm on two new medications that are helping, but god damn it's so hard to start a task without body doubling.

Reminds me of an old joke. "My parents took me to the doctor because they thought I had mononucleosis. It turns out I was just lazy".

I think I had this but I developed coping mechanisms on my own and effectively overcame it, out of necessity.

(Not implying that this is common or attainable, just wanted to share.)

Nervous system says any demand is a threat

daily