Why didn't god make the ark himself? Why didn't god just smite only the people he thought were fucked up? Why did he basically do the same shit twice (the first time being saving Lot's family and destroying Soddam and Gomorrah)?
Because it's fiction written by multiple authors sometimes hundreds of years apart.
I found it funny that no kangaroos were mentioned, because Australia hadn't been discovered at that time.
Noah: "WTF is that?!"
God: "Something called a gorilla. They're pretty cool, but no need to mention them ever."
Noah: but what about all of the paramecia?
God: The what now?
Noah: never mind.
The flood's just ripped off from Gilgamesh. Most of Genesis is just plagerised tales from ancient Mesopotamia.
That's because the flood likely actually happened. As a result of global warming.
Only that time, humans didn't cause global warming, and therefore it wasn't a punishment for our sins. This time though...
Nah. Every time the world's flooded from a warmer climate, it lasts minimum a few thousand years. The cycles are sloooow.
No. When reservoirs burst, you had sudden flooding events.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/12/041220010147.htm
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0025322797000078
My favorite theory is that it’s a myth from when the Bosporus opened and flooded the Black Sea.
Ending up near mount ararat would make sense.
Don't try to apply logic like that, there is no logic.
It's more likely to be a myth based on merely a heavy shower that became exaggerated over time.
The only truth to the Bible is like Harry potter was at a train station that actually exist in London. That does not make Harry Potter based on reality. In the same way some commonly known things in the Bible actually existed. But everything else is made up 100%.
Remember the Ark also had unicorns!
Yes a rainy day exist, but that's about it.
A large part of the Biblical version is a copy-paste of the Sumerian myth (like a lot of the mythological parts of the Bible), which was only centered on the area of the city of Shuruppak. And we know that there were a few big events of the Euphrates flooding severely (Mesopotamian floods are a lot more destructive and unpredictable than the Niles), and one flood event in particular, dated around 2900 BCE, largely destroyed Shuruppak and a couple other cities in the area (they got better).
The Black Sea deluge hypothesis is popular but that rise was spread over a few thousand years, there was no sudden flood, no one was surprised.
Yeah but it’s fun and fun is more fun than logic. Especially with inconsequential bullshit like this.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m having a deep conversation with a blue jay which logically can’t happen but I’m gonna to enjoy it anyway.
Even worse in my book is Moses and the plagues.
Like, WTF God? Pharaoh is the absolute ruler of Egypt. His word is law. This is a man that can and regularly does have people executed with a single word. That's the level of authority Pharaoh has.
And yet, who does God choose to take out his wrath on? The completely innocent and powerless civilian population of Egypt! People with absolutely zero say in how their government is run. THEY are the ones who have to pay the price for Pharaoh's pride. Why the fuck isn't Pharaoh the one paying that price? He's the evil bastard running the whole place.
Want me to free the enslaved Israelites? I can do so with far less effort and far fewer casualties. Here's what my Moses's speech to Pharaoh looks like:
Sorry about this, but I'm here to deliver a message. God says to let his people go. If you don't, you will suffer an increasing number of injuries and sicknesses until you die. The first week you'll have a cold. The next week you'll have the flu. The next week you'll break your legs. The week after that your arms. Finally forty days from now you'll just have a heart attack and die. The same series of events will happen to your successor, and any further successors until you agree to God's terms. Please don't take this out on me. I'm just a messenger. God said he would kill me too if I didn't deliver the message. I didn't believe him at first either; that's why my legs are in casts.
There. Why is that so hard? One man holds all the power. THAT is the man you should be punishing. Give him some chances, change is hard, sure. But ultimately he's the one responsible. I don't know how many Pharaoh's we'll have to burst before the Israelites are free, but I can't imagine it would be more than a half dozen. And the only ones that need to suffer and die are the ones refusing to release the slaves! (Though I suppose in this version Moses is sick for a few weeks and had to break his legs.)
The Flood is probably the most absurd/comical aspect of Christianity to me. It just doesn't work on so many demonstrable levels.
It's impossible on an engineering level.
It's impossible on an archaeological level.
It's impossible on a natural level.
It is completely impossible.
Sounds like a lack of faith to me.
It doesn't have to make sense, in fact, the less sense it makes, the better, as it just tests your faith more.
Believing something because of evidence or logic is not a demonstration of faith. The faithful believe it happened, not because of evidence, but because they were told it did and that they should be faithful to their teachings
Because the non-human animals are irrelevant. Christianity is centered around the idea that humans are above nature.
This is true. A very Christian coworker of mine told me that god put animals(as well as plants and the rest of the earth) here for us to use as we wish. He liked to kill animals(hunt) just to blow off steam. Crows were one of his favorites because, "They're always in season".
He also once told me the earth is six thousand years old and I laughed in his face, thinking he was kidding around. When he assured me he was not kidding I told him I've never before met someone stupid enough to believe that shit.
I'm certain he ended up being a MAGA.
Crows ... always in season".
Know what else is also always in season? Crow hunters. The hard part is finding them.
It should be noted that Noah and the Ark came from the Old Testament, before Christianity was ever a thing. In this case, it’s the Abrahamic religions you have issue with, in addition to Christianity. 😊
And they stole it from the Epic of Gilgamesh
Relatedly, it wasn't an uncommon belief that some animals could just pop into existence under the right circumstances. Like mice and bats in caves or discarded fabric, respectively. "Whatever, their spawn conditions are abundant." Like mobs in an MMO
As a Christian, absolutely not true. Anyone who thinks this, IMO, doesn't understand the argument they're making. If they actually studied the Bible, they would see that God clearly meant for humanity to be stewards of his creation. Maybe a bit harsh, but I have strong feelings about this.
Philosoraptor survives the ages with the hard questions.
I think the actual Biblical answer is that animals don't have true souls like humans. They have a different, lesser souls, like plants, which is why it's not a sin to kill and eat them. So, God killing all the animals is like chopping down a tree that might to fall on your house: sad, but sometimes necessary.
But that bitch gave us dominion over them. Typically micromanaging corporate bullshit.
God was also pissed off at all those gay plants and animals out there doing disgusting same-phylum marriages and stuff.
The animals know what they did.
Because they were also having loud sex without being married
what kind of sick fuck creates a species knowing it will have to 'punish' innocent versions of them?
What kind of sick fuck knowingly creates a world where not only baby rape exists but he knows the intimate details of every baby rape before he even instantiates the reality of it?
My parents
And don't forget, he's got unlimited power and can do anything.
He could have killed only the wicked humans, just snapping them out of existence Thanos-style. But nah. He felt like doing it in a way that would painfully kill trillions of innocent animals as well.
Don't forget the unborn fetuses.
God - highest abortion count in all of history.
Genocidal psychopath does genocidal psychopath things.
For real, Yahweh is a psychopathic demon who eventually won the PR wars thousands of years ago.
God is an ugly drunk. Some of his benders last for centuries.
Cause they havent accepted Jesus as their lord and savior from what Jesus is going to do to them if they don't accept him as their lord and savior
That's pretty harsh considering Jesus hadn't even been born yet.
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