427
appysauce rule
(lemmy.nz)
Holy shit, this is my son in a couple of decades!
We are an animal-loving family. We have a tortoise. We go it when he was 3.
It's a species that gets big too. Sulcata, aka African Spurred Tortoise. In 6 years he's gone from the size of a chicken nugget to the size of a thanksgiving turkey. Or a Halloween pumpkin, perhaps.
When he's 30 I hope to be able to offer him "appy bites" and think of the fediverse as he low-key scampers over. I could take a bite myself then let him chomp on the whole damn apple!
He really likes his greens though. Like a little armored cow. Except for bright yellow dandelion blossoms. Holy shit those are his jam!
from the size of a chicken nugget to the size of a thanksgiving turkey
Anything but metric
You MUST let me tell everybody when he's the size of a bald eagle!
RedTailedHawkSCREEEEEEEeeeee
May he grow into a Toyotathon sedan.
Why will your son be a tortoise?
It's cheaper to get the upgrade during production, but you can always buy the DLC later.
"when I said we would all be on a tight leash at work it was a figure of speech. take that thing off, it's a choking hazard."
Please stop calling your subordinates "subs"
What about subcontractors?
Mmm I love my sub's contractions 🤤
No don't get horny help them, they have seizures
Once I was in the exam room at a doctor's office, waiting to be seen. After a decently long wait, one of the nurses came over and apologized for the delay, explaining "the doctor is a little tied up at the moment." She turned around to leave, paused, then turned back to me to elaborate "uh ... Not literally."
Oppression
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I go potty on company time
That’s it—I’m putting you in timeout.
tendy, choccy, and appy just make my skin crawl when I hear anyone over the age of 5 say it.
skill issue
The spot for "appy" in my brain was already taken up by someone's fictional boss mispronouncing "API" (content warning: YT short), and "choccy" just sounds vaguely Bri'ish to me, so thankfully I don't have this problem.
(I just realized when pasting that link that Shorts don't include tracking components in their URLs, unlike regular videos. Weird.)
Appy feels weird to me. Not actually sure what tendy even is. Tender, as in chicken tender?
But choccy is incredibly common here in Aus. Especially when "chocolate" is used as an adjective. You're less likely (though certainly not unlikely) to hear "do you want some choccy", but "do you want some choccy milk" is very normal.
Yeah, tendy is a chicken tender. I don't know if people actually use the phrase, but it was a joke used to talk about the fat internet (4chan in particular) person a long time ago, with them yelling to their mom for more tendies. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone say it in real life, but I have heard people use it as a joke in video game chats, and in text all over the internet.
Chockie bickie is peak Aussie slang, said by all ages.
And that's why we keep you fuckers all the way down there.
Fuck yeah. I would sometimes pull a snickers out of ny pocket asking co-workers if they wanted "pocky choccy" just to see them try to compute what I was saying.
Unless you are talking to your pet in a baby voice for them, of course.
Yeah, they only work in a baby voice. Either a baby saying it, or an adult in a baby voice is fine. If an adult is doing a baby voice and not talking to a pet or a baby though, something is probably off with them.
Yummy is one for me. I know it's pretty, I don't care. Immediate disregard to anything you have to say after that.
Mmm, moist and yummy.
Yeah, baby talk in general is just off putting. Other than a child young enough that that's the best they can do, I can't think of a single case where it isn't off putting for me.
💀💀💀
could not agree more
....
anyone hungry? ~
anyway, what does the bosses gf have to do with anything?
they should yap how they wanna when on the phone I think.
(Ignore the weird spoon hold, thats my bad, whoops-)
It's been a while since I've had appysauce
happy cake day!
hmmm would you like some appysauce? ~
thank you, and yes! 🥰
Involving other people in your fetishes is weird, they need to stop (though I'm like 90% sure this story is made up).
Why do you assume it's a fetish? Not everything weird is automatically a fetish, even if it can be.
Aegyo is an acceptable gender performance and occasionally fetishized. Perhaps in this case assuming no creative writing, but id imagine in most cases people just want to seem cute or youthful/playful
I'm so fucking lucky I'm generally not around annoying ass people like this regularly.
this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2026
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