509
Terrifying
(lemmy.nz)
Non-standard paper sizes (specifically our right, with the emojis) tipped me off
I'm really glad we have offices to contain these people, and keep them away from the general population.
The problem is, they occasionally escape containment, end up on an outdoor trip of some kind, and decide that a game of "let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves" is what we should be doing, rather than the activity we came here to do.
If this was at a company i worked at i would burn it down.
"mandatory fun"? how about mandatory go fuck yourself!
tell us a fun fact about yourself
I love these questions because I use it as an excuse to "trauma dump" things to the group and act like it's the most normal thing ever.
of course none of it was true, but man...did I sell it enough that they never asked the groups I was in those kinds of questions again.
example
I found out when I was 7 that I was able to dislocate my shoulder when my father yanked on my arm hard enough when he caught me sneaking food. it was cool while I was in school because I could get out of gym and not have to explain all the bruising on my back in the locker room. I can't do it anymore as it's just too painful to pop it back into place. ๐
everyone else ๐ถ๐ฌ๐๐
"Hey did I tell you guys about that time I got arrested?"
"That wasn't on your background check? ๐ฌ!"
"I got it expunged ๐"
you know the neat thing about criminal records guys? when you're under 18 they get sealed and won't show up in background checks! lucky me, right?!
~~โI got it expunged ๐โ~~ "it was last weekend๐"
ftfy
I bow to the master.
Severance vibes
Two truths and a lie is psychological abuse.
You mean "three lies", right? It's not so bad
"My name is aeronmelon, I work here, and I'm happy to be at this meeting."
Thatโs something I would definitely say.
Thus making two of those things a lie.
I quite enjoyed Mandatory Fun!
Corporate spared no expense, there's water and cookies!
I'd love to know how the person who came up with that idea was raised. Are they completely oblivious to social interaction? Are they missing a fundamental piece of neurology?
Look at the blue balloon melding into the chair. Once you see it & realize this is entirely an ai image, you'll discard all your questions and click away to the next post for amusement.
Or, its a joke.
Chairs are a bit too far apart
Scary, but not quite as bad as: Meeting invite: no title, later this morning, attendees are your manager and HR. (That is, layoffs.)
My wife was laid off at the begging of the month and it went something like this. The HR girl went to her table and asked her and other coworker to come with her to a meeting room. In the meeting room was other HR person who asked the three of them to sit and told them that they were laid off, including the HR lady that came for my wife.
I have also had this one be 1. Someone has died in the office. 2. You senior manager / director was fired for corruption and HR wants to question everyone for involvement.
When I was fired my boss just told me to come with him for a minute. Knew right then I was being fired. He lead me down to the conference room and HR is sitting there only cementing my thought.
If there's a Hell, this is what I imagine it would look like.
With jazz playing
On an awful thin and tinny speaker
You monster!
whoops. there's a slight tear in it now. it buzzes a bit on what you think is the beat.
I have unfun facts about myself ONLY
ha. the only balloon is deflated
lol the balloon is phasing into the chair because itโs the one thing tha ai didnโt get close
I can't believe nothing
Truer words were never spoken.
The expert wasn't in yet.
This is spiking my anxiety.
I don't want to see anyone in my HR department go wild in any sense
Shit like this is why people go postal.
"I know a lot of uncomfortable trivia due to hyperfixation caused by ADHD and your reaction to it is more of a you problem" then a blank stare.
For fun, instead of 'two truths and a lie', give them three lies. But make them plausible.
My dear doctor, it's all true.
this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2026
509 points (98.5% liked)
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