Looking to watch it soon (and so did not read what u said in case of spoilers, i am paranoid). I kinda want to watch it with someone else
Good luck, my advice is to have another trans woman to watch it with if you're watching it with someone. Also bring tissues. But yeah the emotional beats kinda rely on the viewers bringing our own pain to the movie and it's kinda amplified by that. And there's just so many bits that hit hard, even the fucking music has lyrics that hit at the transfem experience.
I'm glad this was the horror movie I decided to watch for Halloween lol
there is still time hit so hard, especially because it was exactly what I was thinking. It is never too late, but every day living a lie is a day you'll never get back.
More generally, it's important to remember that nobody can save you; only you can change yourself.
I cried my guts out from that moment till pretty much the end of the movie. I was very much an egg at the time.
Yeah but
Tap for spoiler
The 20 year time skip immediately afterwards just fucking broke me
I was much more Maddie than Owen, even if in high school it didn't seem that way. And now I'm thinking of the poor girl who came to talk to me a few times in college and came out to me but never began transitioning at least from what I saw. She was always too scared. Inanna bless her.
But also it got me thinking of the first trans girl I knowingly saw IRL. I was already committed to transitioning then, and IIRC I was out to a friend by then. She was like a heavily tattooed angel, showing me I wasn't headed to my doom, but to finally being a person instead of a hollow pit. We'd gone to high school together apparently, though she was two grades ahead of me, but there she was at a party, living like I'd dreamed of.
That's really how it broke me, there is still time, but I'm so immensely grateful for the years I didn't lose and for the fact that I didn't suffocate buried alive in that grave that Mr Melancholy put me into. And yet it also made me cry for the years I did lose, of being a teenager. And for all my sisters who lost the same and more.
Also just the entire movie I was just thinking "please girl no, don't make these terrible choices, you aren't alone, please understand it and make the right choice."
It's never too late to save yourself, but every day it's too late to save yesterday. It's so easy to watch the years slip by disassociating and feeling empty, completely losing so much you could have had, if you'd had the courage sooner…
Others can reach out a hand, but you have to grab it. And you don't need that hand to be saved, it just helps. All it takes is you.
After watching this movie, I just couldn't get out of my mind that... It could have been me.
I could have remained in denial my entire life, and realizing, 60 years from now (I if had still been alive I guess...), that it was not me, and that it was killing me. And this perspective terrified me.
I've always felt lucky in a way that my dysphoria hit "transition or die" at 19/20. But without that it could have been me. It was such a soul ache of a movie
Also just, the fact that the pink opaque was so Buffy coded hit me extra hard as someone who was completely obsessed with Buffy during my late teen period where I was trying to convince myself I was just bigender and totally able to hide my female side. Like girl, stop mistaking the dyke in your soul and the expectations placed on you and fears taught to you for a man.
But also damn Buffy was good and the absolute perfect choice for what to code the show two trans teens would obsess over as
ive watched with with cis and trans women and every cis woman was like yawn and completely couldnt vibe. they caught the message tho. the trans women? bawling, me included. def not a cis teaching tool. its for us.
My spouse and I were both bawling and actually couldn't sleep for days after. My spouse is bi and genderqueer but at the time I thought I was completely straight cis. So yeah, this movie might have broken my egg, still figuring that out loll but 10/10 incredible movie.
Aww, bb. It'll be OK. 💜
Welcome sis! And yeah it's a great movie to crack your egg to. It hits so deep at the little things of being in the eggshell, and the back and forth feelings of being drawn to what you are and need then running away in fear. But it also hit pretty hard because I related to Maddie, knowing I had to get out of my suburban town even as a teenager.
And yeah, congrats on the self realization and good luck with figuring your gender out! We're all here for you if you need it
Same experience!
I should watch it again, such a good movie... Gotta watch Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma at some point too!
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma was an absolute delight.
I had a good feeling it would be, thanks for the confirmation hehe
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