Stop Lyin' first off, You might be movie newborn, but you don't get that perfect around head and attentive stares for quite a while

Climb back in. It's terrible out here.

Go back in.

Passive income, form your brand today, get a job, start saving money now, retain your seamen, don't skip leg day, and you'll be more productive if you sleep less... You can sleep when you're dead (brought to you by Bulletproof Coffee).

That's your first mistake right over here

Sorry, it's too late. You needed to start training 9 months ago to become a successful pianist.

Definitely not born today. So young and already a liar, you don't need advice, you'll do just fine.

Why is this baby so unrealistically cute? Is it real? Do babies even smile like that?

Crawl back in, it's shit out here

Secure your water.

The sword of Damocles
Is hanging over my head
And I've got the feeling
Someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread

Oh woe is me
My life is a misery
Oh can't you see
I'm at the start of a pretty big downer

Sha-la-la-la-la that ain't no crime

Tomorrow you are going to be born yesterday, careful with scams

people did this without instructions for a long time and so can you.

Start grinding skills NOW!

By age 3, if you want long term success, have at least the following skills:

• Neck Holding 100

• Speech 80

• Nap-ability 100

• Allergy resistance 75

• Object permanence 95

Also the following attributes, though they can be RNG:

• Curious

• Vaccinated

• Rich (Heavy RNG)

• Loved

• Conventionally Attractive

Well? Get to it.

Buy a home now, it won't get any cheaper.

See if you can go back. It's awful out here.

If you’re on the internet it’s already too late for you.

Hope you chose the "rich parents" background or you're gonna struggle the entire game.

Go back.

Don't take these titty-sucking, pants-shitting years for granted

bro ain't born today.

You're already too far behind in schooling for any decent careers. Best luck in your next life.

You seem to have not rolled into the nobility class. So you'll be debuffed with the poor status.

Quick, get back in there while you can! It's not too late!

Thank the heavens you weren’t “born yesterday…”

Edit: keep that smile. It will serve you well to be so happy, and to have something to smile about like that.

You are a good baby.

Also don’t listen to Celine Dion, she don’t know babies like you know babies… she did them wrong.

However, do listen to good babies. Don’t watch that show “Girls” on HBO unless it’s to observe someone being the opposite of a good person in general. Just don’t do what they do.

Be concerned about the actions of adults. However, don’t worry about the whims of adults, or their specific adult worries; they don’t know babies shit like you know babies shit.

Do, however, worry about everyone generally. Frankly they should worry about you too. That’s worth it and that’s okay.

Just don’t stop smiling.

You don't have to worry about a damn thing for a few years. Enjoy yourself.

• bag it before you tag it
• don’t ~~stick your dick in~~ bump uglies with crazy
• if they’re a 10 and you’re a 2, something’s up
• ya don’t have to train like you’re going to the olympics, but stay reasonably active and eat decently and that will lower your odds of type 2 diabetes
• the perfect is the enemy of the good enough, and learn when you need each
• don’t ever try cocaine, heroin, or meth. the world ain’t gonna end if you partake of the grass in a responsible manner, but don’t ever try anything harder.
• learn from your mistakes, and learn from other peoples mistakes too
• don’t go to parties with metal detectors. sure, it feels safe inside. but what about all them brothas waitin outside with guns? they know you ain’t got one!