this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2026
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I really wish there was a word that was as useful as "dude" but without the gender connotation.
I tried swapping to "fam" and "cuz" but those felt appropriated, I tried "gamer" and "chat" but those felt irony-poisoned, "Sis" and "girl" feel performative. So "dude" it shall be until someone tells me it's bad, and then they get no objective article at all.
"howdy folks 🤠"
I think the australians have this figured out with "mate"
"cunt" kinda works
let’s go for: hello beings
I full use hello beings when my brain is unsure what to call everyone. I also like all y'all.
I too am entering the conversation. Hello fellow resident of Earth.
I mean the golden rule with how you speak about people is really just to listen to what people tell you about what makes them feel respected
So feel free to use dude gender neutrally if thats how you speak, and if someone says they don't feel good in it, stop. If youre worried it might not feel great for someone you can always just say you're used to using it gender neutrally and ask 🤷🏻♂️
I don't like dude as gender neutral and don't think I ever will. I'll stick with "fam," "friend," and "homie" (then again, I am Hispanic, so that might not work for everyone)
Comrade!
"what up cuh"
Me omw to commit auditory blackface to avoid using a mostly gender-neutral term gender neutrally
"dude" always felt gender neutral to me (though do note English is my fourth language...).
And if you look at the etymology of the word, gender neutrality makes some sense.
It started out as slang in the late 1800s mocking "hyper-fashionable young urban men".
Then the early 20th century it transformed to describe tourists from the East Coast on the Western side of the country (see "dude ranches").
And then in the 60-70s it transformed thanks to surfer slang, back to being male oriented.
I'd say if you're uncomfortable with the "dude" form of the term... use "dood" instead. Or even "d00d" if you're feeling l33t h4xx0r.
Gendered terms actually very often have really weird etymologies. You'd be surprised how many words for women used to refer to children of any gender (which could be a whole discussion by itself).
So in your examples, it went from making fun of a type of men, to referring to the overwhelmingly-male owners of hobby ranches, to referring to male surfers.
When exactly was it ever gender neutral?
No...
You got the second part wrong. It wasn't the "overwhelmingly male owners of hobby ranches" that were called dudes, but, if you read my comment again, you'll notice I specifically said the UNGENDERED tourists hailing from the east coast - primarily city folk - visiting rural western areas, ranches.
The 80s and 90s skater culture. We're all dudes https://youtu.be/iKYXmjfQY4U
I prefer homie
just say "baby".
Always thought mate was fantastic but it sounds weird when Americans use it
Well, I'm Canadian, but I assure you it doesn't sound any better coming from us.
America should refer to the continent anyway