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transcriptScreenshot of a tweet by @feralhousepuppy: hey so you've been calling me "bro", "man", and "dude" a lot and it's really invalidating to my masculinity cause those are all gender neutral things you call trans women :/

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[-] Godort@lemmy.ca 25 points 5 hours ago

I really wish there was a word that was as useful as "dude" but without the gender connotation.

I tried swapping to "fam" and "cuz" but those felt appropriated, I tried "gamer" and "chat" but those felt irony-poisoned, "Sis" and "girl" feel performative. So "dude" it shall be until someone tells me it's bad, and then they get no objective article at all.

[-] anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 16 minutes ago* (last edited 15 minutes ago)

"cunt" kinda works

[-] bequirtle@lemmy.world 1 points 7 minutes ago

I think the australians have this figured out with "mate"

[-] somnuz@lemmy.zip 2 points 28 minutes ago

let’s go for: hello beings

[-] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 46 minutes ago

"what up cuh"

[-] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

I don't like dude as gender neutral and don't think I ever will. I'll stick with "fam," "friend," and "homie" (then again, I am Hispanic, so that might not work for everyone)

[-] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 15 points 3 hours ago

I mean the golden rule with how you speak about people is really just to listen to what people tell you about what makes them feel respected

So feel free to use dude gender neutrally if thats how you speak, and if someone says they don't feel good in it, stop. If youre worried it might not feel great for someone you can always just say you're used to using it gender neutrally and ask 🤷🏻‍♂️

[-] fonix232@fedia.io 13 points 5 hours ago

"dude" always felt gender neutral to me (though do note English is my fourth language...).

And if you look at the etymology of the word, gender neutrality makes some sense.

It started out as slang in the late 1800s mocking "hyper-fashionable young urban men".

Then the early 20th century it transformed to describe tourists from the East Coast on the Western side of the country (see "dude ranches").

And then in the 60-70s it transformed thanks to surfer slang, back to being male oriented.

I'd say if you're uncomfortable with the "dude" form of the term... use "dood" instead. Or even "d00d" if you're feeling l33t h4xx0r.

So in your examples, it went from making fun of a type of men, to referring to the overwhelmingly-male owners of hobby ranches, to referring to male surfers.

When exactly was it ever gender neutral?

[-] fonix232@fedia.io 1 points 14 minutes ago

No...

You got the second part wrong. It wasn't the "overwhelmingly male owners of hobby ranches" that were called dudes, but, if you read my comment again, you'll notice I specifically said the UNGENDERED tourists hailing from the east coast - primarily city folk - visiting rural western areas, ranches.

[-] Forester@pawb.social 5 points 1 hour ago

The 80s and 90s skater culture. We're all dudes https://youtu.be/iKYXmjfQY4U

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 hours ago

I prefer homie

[-] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 hours ago

just say "baby".

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 5 hours ago

Always thought mate was fantastic but it sounds weird when Americans use it

[-] Godort@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 hours ago

Well, I'm Canadian, but I assure you it doesn't sound any better coming from us.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 hours ago

America should refer to the continent anyway

[-] SirW00talot@lemmy.world 28 points 6 hours ago

I subscribe to the good burger use of dude.

[-] volore@scribe.disroot.org 20 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

yeah no "dudette" is an abomination of linguistics and I refuse to entertain it, and anyone who does should be met with derision.

We are all dudes on this blursed world. 🙏

[-] Montagge@lemmy.zip 19 points 5 hours ago

It's odd that the gender "neutral" terms are always the masculine ones

[-] deadbeef79000 15 points 5 hours ago

It's deliberate, for all the same reasons across all of history.

It's why I use terms that (I assume) are genuinely like "folks" and "peeps" and "comrade" etc.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 42 minutes ago

Don't forget "cats"

Everybody wants to be a cat

[-] neatchee@piefed.social 16 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Become ungovernable.

Make all words genderless.

Call men "chika".

Call women "brother".

Call your girl cat "bubba"

Call your boy cat "pretty kitty"

No gender = no gender conformity = better world

[-] anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 13 minutes ago

omg this is pretty cool

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 hours ago

I’m sorry but I HATE folks. I’m down with virtually all other gender neutral terms, but I psychologically can’t uncouple ‘folks’ from pseudo-homespun charm put on by people who are sleazebags for various reasons. Anything but folks, I beg (general) you

[-] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 4 hours ago

I use folks all the time!

...but i'm also a server at waffle house, so I guess I am using southern culture and folksy charm to sell you waffles and coffee. It's a soulless existence, I know, but at least I have my cold, hard cash tips to keep me warm at night.

[-] SarahValentine@pawb.social 4 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

It comes from the German "volks" (literally "people"), so I just think of it like that. "What's up people?" doesn't sound strange, does it?

[-] Bryllyg@quokk.au 7 points 4 hours ago

I use the word folks regularly :(

That makes me sad

[-] TerrabyteMarx@quokk.au 3 points 2 hours ago

It makes me sad that it made you sad so to correct this I'll go out of my way to use folks from time to time

[-] Bryllyg@quokk.au 2 points 2 hours ago
[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 hours ago

Don’t let one person’s pet peeves determine your language, even if they’re my pet peeves!

[-] fleebleneeble@reddthat.com 2 points 3 hours ago

I only use it to refer to my "parents" cuz saying parents otherwise makes me feel like I'm in grade school again or some shit. Otherwise to refer to others as folks feels weird to me.

[-] Eq0@literature.cafe 5 points 4 hours ago

I love “folks”! It makes me think of folklore and looney tunes.

[-] OnyxRex@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 hours ago

The one that gets me is 'bud' I had a roommate that would all ways say things like 'yeah bud. that's because ****' when explaining anything and I had to put a firm stop to it. It was so patronizing.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 points 40 minutes ago

You're not a bud. You're fully bloomed.

[-] Zensate@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

I have officially lost complete connection with what the kids are talking about these days

this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2026
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