My struggles are different from yours: Seven heart attacks, a saddle pulmonary embolism, below-knee amputation, kidney failure so I am on dialysis. Just the barest touch so I don't waste your time with a novel. :)

The only way to survive is to focus on now. To the best of your ability, live in the moment. What I mean is: You cannot change the past. While you will sometimes remember the past, try not to let yourself dwell too much on it - the good or the bad. I mean, don't forget what you want to remember, but don't waste much time on what's already happened. And for the future, the same - you cannot decide how to spend tomorrow until it comes. If you spend all your time thinking in the past and/or the future, you lose the NOW, which is the only time you can actually ACT.

So you do want to try and work towards bettering your future, just don't waste all your time fantasizing about what might happen or what you might want. Plan, yes. Work toward, yes. But do not lose sight of today.

"Today" - "Now" - this is your life. Not the past, nor the future.

Obviously every day cannot be a vacation. You can't have indulgent food every day. You can't be lazy every day. You can't take every day off and relax. But if you are spending every minute of every day working and stressed, that is also untenable - unsustainable.

It's not that you have to work less - you may have to work a lot to have enough money to survive. But the idea is that while you cannot do anything about what the world does to you or how people treat you, you have control over how you react. If someone - a stranger - treats you poorly, just let it go. You'll probably never see them again.

Try to find the joy in little things, in everyday things. One of the things I like to do is try to make people laugh, if I can. That is, say amusing things that are funny even in just the moment. Like I like to joke when there's good weather how terrible that is because we have nothing to complain about - it often gets a laugh. I don't try and force laughter, mihd, just be amusing and I love to see when it clearly brightens someone's day.

I'm 51, and with my health issues, I probably won't live to see 60. So these simple pleasures are what I treasure. The little time I have with my wife, keeping in touch with the two family members I have left, trying ot make people laugh wherever I go, enjoying some of the games I play.

That's all we can do. Just to make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in. To some degree: You are in control of how you choose to go through life, as far as your attitude goes. Which is not to say you can't grieve, be sad, be wistful, be resentful, angry, so many emotions based on what's happened to you. But try not to let all of that get you down and be how you live. Acknowledge the bad, but also try to acknowledge the good: Do you have food? Shelter?

And try to make little improvements where you can.

It's hard. And everyone is different. I've just tried to explain how I try to look at life, and I hope some of that might help you. I apologize for the bits that are unhelpful and annoying. But I hope things get better for you. I hope you don't give up.