Aotearoa / New Zealand

I don't actually feel lonely nor do I have a deep need for social interaction, and I'm fairly certain I'm not depressed or anything.

It's a couple of things - the first being jealousy, ie when I speak to my family or other acquaintances and they talk about how they had a great time with their friends, like how my mum is still in touch with some of her childhood friends and caught up with them, or how my cousin went to Bali with his friends or something like that - I can't help but feel jealous when I hear such stories and have thoughts like "would be nice if I had some friends I could go on a road trip with".

The second being having someone in your life you can count on, to have your back or to help you out when you need it. Like I really struggled when I got covid, there were some days where I couldn't even get up from bed - and at that time, I really wished that I had some friends who could drop off medicines and necessities. That experience also made me worried for my future - how would I manage on my own when I get older and am less able? Maybe I should start looking into retirement homes and saving up for it... and the thought of such a life made me a bit sad.