I think it's ok to go out, have a good time, and not have to expect friendships to have to happen. And personally I prefer one on one, so you don't end up with all the conversation happening without you. But one on one socialisation requires a certain level of gelling between you.

Do you feel lonely? If not, I don't see why you need to try to force interactions. If you would prefer a good book then so be it, as long as that's what actually makes you happy.

There was a post on reddit some years ago where someone logged their mood each day using a grid. I'm not sure if this started something or just brought it to my attention but there are apps that help you do this. In the past I've used one called Pixels. I see there's a more basic one on f-droid as well called MyMood. One of the benefits of Pixels is you can record emotions alongside the how you're feeling emoji scale (😞🙁😐🙂😄). Personally I find a check in like this helpful, and if I'm in need of social interaction it can help me identify it.

If you are happier with the book, then I don't think that's a problem. But if you would rather be socialising but just can't get youself to do it, it might be depression or something else, and you should chat with your doctor.

I think this reply may be more self reflection than specific to your comment but it is what it is.

[–] d3Xt3r 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I don't actually feel lonely nor do I have a deep need for social interaction, and I'm fairly certain I'm not depressed or anything.

It's a couple of things - the first being jealousy, ie when I speak to my family or other acquaintances and they talk about how they had a great time with their friends, like how my mum is still in touch with some of her childhood friends and caught up with them, or how my cousin went to Bali with his friends or something like that - I can't help but feel jealous when I hear such stories and have thoughts like "would be nice if I had some friends I could go on a road trip with".

The second being having someone in your life you can count on, to have your back or to help you out when you need it. Like I really struggled when I got covid, there were some days where I couldn't even get up from bed - and at that time, I really wished that I had some friends who could drop off medicines and necessities. That experience also made me worried for my future - how would I manage on my own when I get older and am less able? Maybe I should start looking into retirement homes and saving up for it... and the thought of such a life made me a bit sad.

[–] Dave 2 points 1 year ago

I have heard solo traveling is far better than travelling with friends, so say experienced travellers I know.

In terms of people you can rely on, do you have family that live nearby? Your new job might be a good opportunity to get familiar with colleagues and see who lives close to you. You don't need to be BFFs, most people would be happy to pick up some meds for you if you lived nearby. Also get to know your neighbours. It might be awkward to ask for the help, but most people are willing to go a little out of their way to help so long as you ask nicely and don't ask too often.

In terms of retirement, I have heard you can buy permanent rooms on cruise ships and live there until you die...