You can't convince me that isn't a cleverly painted dummy with a stick of dynamite in it.

You aren't even close to being right about that

I bet we could grow a culture with a sample from that goat's taint

I prefer beer that hasn't been teabagged by a billy goat.

Admirable joke. I bet you're outstanding in your field!

Yeah. For one thing, you don't usually find them in the sky.

Looks like a helium balloon.

Which is why ultimately it's pointless to know whether or not we live in a simulation unless we can somehow escape the simulation. Or as Morpheus once said, "He who smelt the matrix, dealt the matrix."

She could have been a billionaire. She chose not to be. Instead, she spent millions helping people.

You don't sue the guy, you sue the hoa and/or the person who told you they weren't going to give you evidence.

Full text of the article in case you can't be bothered to click:

Is it normal for a sitting senator to have to routinely submit proofs of life to a public who suspect he might be braindead? Just asking for 340 million friends in the US. Mitch McConnell was hospitalized for a medical event on 14 June and we are now in week six of What on Earth Is Going on With Mitch? – a mystery that has riveted the nation.

According to McConnell’s team there isn’t actually a mystery at all. The 84-year-old is doing great, they want us to know. So great that they have now released two photos to prove it.

The first was made public on Sunday 12 July, almost a month after McConnell’s hospitalization and appears to have been prompted in part by Trump ally and far-right agent of chaos Laura Loomer’s claim that Mitch was “officially brain dead”.

Kentucky’s Democratic governor, Andy Beshear, had also just sent a letter to McConnell asking him to be transparent and put an end to the speculation about his health. Funnily enough, the day before that photo came out, I’d published a column with the headline “Is Mitch McConnell secretly deceased?”

Rarely is a question answered so quickly. Perhaps, as my next offering to the mischievous headline gods, I’ll put out a piece titled: “Is Benjamin Netanyahu going to escape accountability forever?”

The Mitch McConnell mystery is solved. But it doesn’t look good for America

But back to that photo, which we’ll call Proof of Life One (POL1). Mitch, I’ll be honest, looked pretty good. He was wearing a nice pink shirt and his wife was standing next to him with her mouth stretched into something resembling a human smile.

I wouldn’t say she was caressing him exactly, but she had a hand under his arm. Mitch was also holding a copy of the day’s Washington Post Sports section so we could all see that he was not secretly deceased. Very normal stuff!

Our tech overlords have ushered in a world where no one can be ever sure that visual evidence is real and POL1 immediately set off rabid speculation that the photo was AI.

There is, I should note, no evidence whatsoever that the photo was AI. But there is also no evidence that McConnell had any idea what was going on in that photo, or that he is in a fit state to continue serving his constituents. His office put out a statement saying he’d had a fall in his home and had subsequently been treated for pneumonia, but we still haven’t actually heard directly from the senator.

All of which is why POL1 did not put an end to the speculation that McConnell’s office is hiding details about the senator’s condition from the public. So, on Monday, to try and quell a new round of speculation, his office released a new photo dated 26 July, which we’ll call Proof of Life Two (POL2).

This photo is pretty similar to the first one, except the senator is in a blue shirt. His office also put out a statement saying the senator is out of hospital, but still having “intense physical therapy” and wouldn’t be able to travel to the annual Fancy Farm picnic in western Kentucky. The statement did not say when he might be expected back in the Senate, which is scheduled to break for a month on 7 August. He has already missed 38 votes.

Once again, this photo of an apparently living, breathing Mitch has not put an end to the questions around McConnell’s health. If the issue is his mobility rather than his mental capacity, why can’t McConnell come into the Senate in a wheelchair to do his job?

That’s what happened last year, after all, after he suffered a fall and then was seen using a wheelchair at the Capitol. Demanding more transparency from a public servant who is collecting a taxpayer-funded salary to represent his constituents is not unreasonable.

Indeed, if McConnell were in perfect health and a Democratic senator were in this position, McConnell would be leading the charge to ensure they resigned. The man has never been interested in empathy or civility, just power.

It looks like Kentucky’s governor hasn’t been reassured by POL2 either. On Monday, Beshear renewed his calls for transparency, asking the senator to directly address Kentuckians about his health or resign.

“As Governor of the state you serve, I am calling on you to directly and verbally address the people of Kentucky and provide proof of your capacity to serve, or resign,” Beshear wrote in a letter. “If you are unwilling to voluntarily show that you still have the capacity to serve, I will insist Leader Thune fully investigate your condition, report to the American people, and begin the process [to fill your Senate seat] if warranted.”

Is this letter finally going to lead to answers? I don’t know. But I do know that it’s highly likely that a situation like this is going to happen again. Regardless of where they are on the political spectrum, US lawmakers seem determined to cling to power until they die at their desks.

Earlier this month, Senator Lindsey Graham became the fourth member of the US Senate since 2013 to have died while in office and the sixth member of Congress to have died while serving in the 119th Congress. Because the US is the greatest democracy in the world, Graham has now been replaced in the Senate by his sister Darline.

Lindsey Graham’s hawkish ideology leaves a legacy of destruction

And if lawmakers aren’t dying in office, then they’re vanishing from their responsibilities without feeling the need to be transparent with their constituents.

In 2024, for example, a reporter discovered that Kay Granger, a Republican congresswoman from Texas, who hadn’t cast a vote in months, was dealing with “dementia issues” at a senior living facility. Her office hadn’t felt the need to disclose this to the public.

There was also some speculation that House Republican leaders had been aware of the situation and deliberately chose to keep the information quiet to maintain their majority.

And earlier this year Tom Kean Jr, a Republican, went off the radar for almost four months. He missed more than 100 votes but continued to collect his salary. Eventually he resurfaced and said he’d been to inpatient treatment for depression and hadn’t wanted to explain because he was a private person. Which is fair enough. But then may I suggest that a job in public office isn’t for you?

It’s funny, isn’t it? There are millions of Americans who are never going to have the funds to retire. Who are going to be forced to work for minimum wage until they keel over on the job. Our lawmakers, however, have excellent salaries and an array of taxpayer-funded health benefits. They can retire early if they choose to do so. It’s a tragedy for our democracy that more of them don’t.

-Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist and the author of Strong Female Lead

Go read about how empty Las Vegas is and all the people scratching their heads wondering why no one wants to come. Personally, I think the people who say they don't know are lying or stupid.