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Emotional processing. Just sit or lay down for a moment and let that stuff come. Go straight into all of it. Awkward and painful moments. Frustrations.. It'll feel so much better afterward!
Something to avoid would be letting others set your standard. You set your own standard.
Never start nicotine
I'd also like to chip in that alcoholism is sneaky. Be careful with drinking
Just use a password manager, FFS it makes all of your online interactions safer.
Once setup, it is easier than not using one.
Which app would you recommend/suggest?
Bitwarden is the best in my opinion
I use keepass XC, and keep it up to date on all my devices using syncthing.
I have considered bitwarden with self hosting, but keepass had always worked well.
Have used LastPass before it was shit, self hosted bitwarden and KeePass synced with nextcloud (whatever cloud service works). I ended up using KeePass with nextcloud and set KeePass to automatically save changes. Use it on Android with KeePassDX that also includes auto fill across apps. KeePass doesn't require much setup whereas you need to setup server with bitwarden. Also had some weird sync errors with bitwarden. Having said that, bitwarden is a great piece of software.
KeePass is open source and is easy to sync via whatever service you use, Google Drive, Dropbox, OneDrive or something.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future....
sunscreen...
would be..
it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
~ Baz
jokes on you buddy, I don’t go outside
I wear a sunhat everywhere in the summer. People seem amused by it but I'm 50 and have lovely skin.
Absolutely lifting weights has been my all time favorite self improvement thing, would highly recommend it
I second this as a non-sporty person. I bought a couple of barbells (15kg apiece) for use at home and 20-30 minutes of just messing around with them daily has solved so many joint aches, it's almost ridiculous...
Just to note, the form has an impact and can cause more negatives than it solves if not done properly.
Read books.
Really anything, philosophy is great but some don't have the patience for it.
If it's graphic novels or "kids" books, it's all good. Spend a bit of time every day reading.
Couldn't agree more.
Secondly, never ask for book recommendations on Lemmy or Reddit. You'll just get a list of pretentious, wanky suggestions that people pretend to like
The best fiction is sometimes just a trashy, edge-of-your-seat thriller
And to add, if reading just doesn’t seem to work, be open towards audio books. They are every bit as good as the books (unabridged, anyway) but can be a better fit for some.
I have adhd and most of my reading has evolved to be listening. It works well so I can get some stimming while doing boring like dishes or whatever, and this way I actually finish books.
Don’t listen to anyone telling you it’s “not reading”. It is. Whatever works for you.
Getting an electric toothbrush, and flossing daily. My dental hygienists love me.
Learning how to say no, how to do it politely and how to do it firmly. I'm better at the latter but being able to do either is a goddamn superpower, it's incredible how many Americans cannot regardless of their situation, title, age, wealth, etc.
Just go for a walk. Calling it exercise scares people into thinking about running, cycling or the gym but for the last month or two i just make it my mission to go for a long-ish walk once a day. Nothing strenuous, some days I walk a couple of kilometres to the nearest big supermarket to pick up some stuff, or i'll get something delivered to a post locker thing or I'll just go for a nice walk around the nearby park and bring my neglected camera with me to take pics of some birdies.
You would be surprised how many calories it adds up to and how much better your well-being can get from some sunlight and fresh air.
I've been trying to motivate myself to go out for walks more. I really enjoy hiking, but especially over the winter, the weather is always an easy excuse not to go out (I'm in the PNW, so winter means rain).
I just bought some nice waterproof hiking shoes that will take away at least one excuse. I'd get wet feet using running shoes, and cleaning mud off was a pain too. Having the right equipment can make going out way more pleasant. (Also it can be exciting to try out new shoes or whatever it is)
That's it! Walking solves so many problems automatically, it's possibly the best general answer.
So many people don't care about how their behaviors affect others. They are loud on the public transport, interrupt others when they talk, act like they are better because they got good looks, and a bunch of other things.
I really think people would get along better if all of us were more down to earth and listening and relaxing.
Be the opposite of what you see in reality shows.
I spent all of 2024 tracking my spending and saving. I didn’t “budget”, just had a spreadsheet and wrote everything down week over week.
I would recommend it as a habit people may benefit from just to understand where their money goes.
Yes, track the dollars even if the outflow is greater than the inflow. Then you will at least have an idea of where to start
Also, generally avoid alcohol consumption. It's weird that this drink, when consumed regularly, has the ability to hijack and reprogram your biology so much that stopping can kill you. Just best to avoid it.
Checking up on your friends and asking how they are. It never hurts to be there for your friends when they're having a bad day! ❤️
I stopped doing this with some of my friends. They were always happy to hear from me, but the relationship felt one sided. Once I did, I found out I was right.
Using a password manager and moving around every hour or so
Not waiting for a day like new years to make a change that helps you.
The best time to do it was probably years ago.
The second best time is today.
Because if you make it about “new years” or some event, then it isn’t about YOU.
Do it for YOU, because you know that you’re worth the same amount of effort and affection as the others in your life.
Would you want this change for your friend? Turn don’t you think you skills care enough about you to give it to yourself?
I quit smoking the day my niece was born.
I quit drinking on April 1st, I've lost track of how many years ago it was, so that's nice.
don't discount the power of a specific date to reinforce a change and don't let the reputation of new years resolutions stop you from setting and crushing them.
Reading books on daily basis. It's a qualitatively different experience from reading websites or consuming other form of media. If you have trouble getting into reading, I recommend picking a particular time and place, then reading at least a few pages every day. Eventually, it will turn into a habit and you'll be reading for longer periods. Another thing I recommend is finding books on topics you're interested in, be it fiction or non fiction, and don't feel bad about abandoning books if you find you're not enjoying it.
Set a timer for when you're sitting at a desk and working. Every hour, I get up and do something or go get some water. It helps
Waking up at the same time every day, no matter if it's a weekend or a weekday and no matter if you stayed up too late and won't be getting full 8 hours of sleep.
As obvious as this might sound, this has really helped me to regulate my sleep schedule, something I've really been struggling with for pretty much my entire life.
Learn stuff, don't eat processed foods and get exercise - gardening and foraging are good places to start for most people. Stay far away from negative, manipulative and lying people.
Keep a journal. Every day just jot down how you're feeling and what's on your mind, what you plan to do/did. Its amazing how helpful this has been for me.
Don't drink alcohol. It's not good for you in any amount.
Make a list of all the tasks you want to do for the day, every day. This is so important for me if I don't do this I just never get anything done.
Also always plan to do something productive every day even if you just feel like relaxing. You will feel so much better relaxing if you know you've done something your proud of.
Get in the habit of developing habits.
I’m divided on this.
In one hand, when I haven’t done my habits for awhile it seems like everything goes to chaos.
But many days I dread all the annoying chores I do making everyday feel the same.
Biased take but you can’t remove meditation and mindfulness from its traditions specific goals. I get they have side benefits but therapy acting like they invested god through spreading it is just watering down what could help so many people