Anon's strict mom : greentext

[-] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 193 points 2 years ago

What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 119 points 2 years ago

But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?

[-] MrLLM@ani.social 16 points 2 years ago

would they?

I don’t see a reason for them to… Fake internet points are not even worth a penny!

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] yokonzo@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail

[-] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 2 years ago

But that was many, many men and not a single one.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (5 replies)

[-] spacecadet@lemm.ee 129 points 2 years ago

There is either:

A backstory we are missing
Anon has a weird fetish
mom has a weird fetish
story is fake and straight
story is real and gay
some combination of the above

[-] Arbiter@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago

You really thing an anon would do that? Just tell a lie?

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 years ago

The story is bisexual and has a quantum physics relationship with the truth

load more comments (9 replies)

[-] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 94 points 2 years ago

Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.

[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 86 points 2 years ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

[removed by mod]

[-] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 40 points 2 years ago

Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.

[-] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 47 points 2 years ago

it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes

what.

[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 32 points 2 years ago

The Internet was a mistake.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 21 points 2 years ago

I think that bit's for the AI. Looking forward to its recommendations in a couple of weeks

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (5 replies)

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 44 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes.

100% untrue.

While you're right that proteins can caugulate a little, this is a common urban legend that was started with a prank note left in a dorm bathroom many years ago.

https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/housing-violation-notice-in-college-bathroom-prank-resurfaces-idUSL1N2MY2GV/

https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/

"Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:"

I can't understand how we got to the point with this that people have written thousands of articles about it and consulted with medical professionals. We really need better education in this country.

load more comments (3 replies)

[-] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.

load more comments (3 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 79 points 2 years ago

Just eat it you coward.

[-] theangryseal@lemmy.world 34 points 2 years ago

Face glows when mom turns on the UV.

load more comments (1 replies)

[+] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 63 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

[deleted]

[-] vorlaut_boy@feddit.org 20 points 2 years ago

his mom told him.

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 62 points 2 years ago

Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 62 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I like that this implies that OP's mom uses an 8 bit counting system

I'm imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking "wow, this only cost $35!"

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 58 points 2 years ago

Blow your load on her bedsheets

[-] slaacaa@lemmy.world 52 points 2 years ago

Time to break your hands

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 49 points 2 years ago

Why tf does op masturbate in secret?
A healthy family doesn't keep secrets from each other!

Also buy a dryer, she obviously doesn't get stuck very often.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 48 points 2 years ago

clogging the shower drain with cum

ok

load more comments (11 replies)

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 39 points 2 years ago

i'm smelling some human rights abuses here

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] Etterra@discuss.online 39 points 2 years ago

You fucking move out. That's not just abusive - it's sociopathic.

Just remember to jerk off on her pillow first.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] chemicalprophet@lemm.ee 38 points 2 years ago

I think you need to fuck your mom…

[-] kraftpudding@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago

Move out.
Has anon never heard of toilet paper and toilets?

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 36 points 2 years ago

Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...

load more comments (3 replies)

[+] teije9@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 years ago

[deleted]

[-] lenuup@reddthat.com 29 points 2 years ago

Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago

Use her panties and socks.

[-] Fizz 26 points 2 years ago

How can you be 22 without your own money. Go buy tissues and tell your mum to mind her own business.

[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago

I don't know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.

[-] victorz@lemmy.world 33 points 2 years ago

Yeah just buy a cruise ship or whatever. Go into debt if you have to.

load more comments (21 replies)

load more comments (6 replies)

[-] guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 years ago

Have both of your arms broken, you won't be able to crank it.

load more comments (3 replies)

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

1: go to toilet

2: kneel in front facing the toilet

3: place dick between toilet seat and toilet

4:?????

5: profit

load more comments (4 replies)

[-] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 22 points 2 years ago

Get a chastity fetish.

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 years ago

There's this apparatus called washing machine.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 19 points 2 years ago

Is she checking her own socks and underwear?

[-] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

MOVE
OUT

Even sweatshop workers, prisoners, and the slaves who built the World Cup stadium in Qatar were/are alowed to relieve themselves. Homeless people have some option, it seems. There is no reason for OOP to unwillingly put up with this, even with crippling NEET tendencies.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Econgrad@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

This has to be fake.

[-] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago

4chan posts are never fake though

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

Do your own laundry.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 33 points 2 years ago

That's a bit extreme don't you think?

Greentext