Comic Strips

There is no taking. By having a child you automatically give to him a lifetime of support. That's your role as a parent. Children are not your slaves. If you don't want to accept that, don't have children.

You can't play football, it's too dangerous!

You can't take a martial arts class, it's dangerous and too expensive!

You can't get a drum kit, it's too loud and too expensive!

You can't have guitar lessons, it's too expensive and too loud!

Never leave this neighborhood it's too dangerous!

15 years later

Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!

She never got over him stealing Blobby

That's my monster boomer mother. Also include "while you live under MY roof... blah-blah". I spent my early childhood not feeling like I had a home. I was just visiting her house. Nothing was mine. She of course forgets my father paid for that house and she got it for free in the divorce.

She'd also say to me "the world doesn't owe you a living." She only had a high school degree and a year as a "kelly girl". That turned into a secretary job at a community college, which later turned into a better secretary job at a huge aerospace company. After a few years that paid more than enough to live and she got stocks and a pension out of the deal. Her aunt died and left her a fortune (none for me). She's one of those boomers that did the bare minimum in life, sits on a pile of free cash, free house, retired early, and complains about people on welfare or "damn government handouts". Meanwhile she has never contributed anything of value to society, never volunteers, never donates to charity. She's a fucking leach.

Oh yeah. When parents got divorced, she got primary custody of me. She was so insane, I ended up moving to my fathers house when I was 10. My father continued to pay her child support to stop her from filing a complaint with the court about me living with him (He was chill and figured it was the easy way to deal with her). So add that to the list of free money to her.

Anyway, now she's old, fat, stupid, with no friends and will die alone. I actually expect her to die in the house alone and they'll find her weeks later after her cat has chewed out chunks of her. LOL. Good kitty.

My parents gave as much as they could. I never thought it was enough when I was a kid. Now that I'm in my forties, I know just how much that was.

I come from work tired as fuck and I know my old man was the same way, but he still found time to take me to the playground and then taught me math and English every night. My mom did the exact same but there was always a lunch and a dinner cooked for my ungrateful ass.

Through it all, they always loved me and said they were proud of me.

When ya comin' home son?

I don't know when, but we'll get together then.

It's not like I asked to be born, jeez. That's like deciding to get a dog and then be surprised that it actually takes work to care of it.

For anyone confused and making "parenting is hard and parents do their best" apologetics in the comments, this comic portrays long term, systematic child abuse and survivors recognize it immediately. If a parent's "best" involves abuse of any kind, it simply isn't good enough, and no victim owes their abuser a single thing.

For any fellow survivors, I see you and it's not your fault. They made choices when they raised you in a climate of terror, abuse, blame, and cruelty, you had no choice. Leave them to the natural consequences of their choices, your one wild life is your own, don't let them take any more of it than they already have.

Not my mother, but my father.

He spent literally all my childhood "working" 16 hour shifts (not because he needed to) while neglecting his kids, and tries to solve all our problems with money instead of, you know, actually listening and supporting his kids emotionally, and now asks why none of us visit him.

/rant

I think the Raised By Narcissists group needs more activity. This was my childhood fer shurr.

Imagine they bring you to this suffering planet against your will and then give you this bullshit. Wow just wow 🤩

Cut toxic people out of your life. No matter who it is. Period.

Simple best rule for a happier life.

I once told my mother i didn't owe her shit for getting drunk and horny on NYE (i'm an early sept baby)

....hilarity did not ensue

"Children in Africa are dying, doesn't this make you more grateful?" -No...

Is that a MAGA mom?

Unfortunately some people are like that.

"Do you want me to give you something to cry about?"

That's pretty much every narcissist's view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.

Both of my grandfathers were horrible, and then largely absent. When each of them died, I managed a shrug and a mild bit of interest in learning more about them from their obituaries than they had ever shared with me over my entire life. My parents both show signs of generational trauma. They did their best with me, and I give them each passing grades, somewhat elevated by the fact that they got divorced when I don't remember, rather than sticking it out in a malfunctional marriage and no doubt allowing me to get caught in the crossfire. Even for all of that, I recognize in myself some of the echoes of what was done to them. I've done therapy and I've resolved to make sure my kid knows that, even if we sometimes argue or have to tell her things she doesn't want to hear, that no matter what we'll always love and cherish her.

Try to live your life in such a way that, when you die, the people you leave behind can manage more of an emotional reaction than a shrug and moving on with their day.

#RaisedByNarcissists

This is a great article on this topic

https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/when-the-missing-reasons-arent-missing/

Many such cases

How did you interview my mother to make this comic?