Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD
this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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(but also: What if you were moving toward a light source? Wouldn't that mean you get to see faster? 🤔)
The light you see would be blue shifted because of the speed you're going and become gamma rays for you. Radio waves would shift to visible light. So you would see radio.
If you would move that fast on the ground, you'd slam into air molecules at light speed, causing a huge shockwave like a continuous Hiroshima nuke going of. That would make you sad.
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Any moth expert wanna comment on that now that it's moth month?
Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?
My god! Look at their form.
He's cheating! Look! There's a hop, see?! There's another one!
You're not a race walker at all, you're nothing but a common jogger.
"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."
--rant start--
I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.
My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.
So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness
--rant end--
I agree with your rant, this kind of title is annoying.
I do however also think that doing slow mindful walks will help against stress, so the implication that slow walking brings happiness is not a bad implication. Stressed out fast walking people really should try it. There's no reason to be in a hurry all of the time.
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But the headline doesn't imply a causal connection, it's your own bias that does
I read it and immediately assumed it's because stressed people walk faster
The tagline is still making a massive leap of logic to a clickbaity conclusion.
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Hmmm actually ☝️🤓
Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.
Because he's addicted to ~cocaine~
He’s not addicted. He can quit anytime he wants. He just really loves doing it.
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True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers
Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.
If I walk fast enough I can outrun death
Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.
The problem with being faster than light is that you only see darkness...
Dam that's deep
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It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.
Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is
You know...
Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.
Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.
So, you're telling me that if I just walk slower, I'll be happier?
Have you tried just walking slower?
Got yelled at by the twat behind me, wouldn’t recommend.
Saw this in the news a few days ago.
Now I know why I walk fast
Some of y'all have never watched a 200kg / 440lb southern woman walk. She is not happy. And I'm not happy to be walking behind her.
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Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.
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Gotta go pee!
Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.
Lemmy only accepts bespoke, artisanal, hand-crafted shitposts.
said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?
This must be. I always walk fast or even run and im sad as fuck
This can’t be true although I only have anecdotal evidence to back up my claim.
It’s me. I’m unhappy and a very slow walker.
Correlation does not imply causation, in this case it doesn't mean that sad people walk fast. A few years ago there was a similar study that said that people that walked faster were healthier or something, the reality was that younger people walk faster, they also happen to be healthier than older people.
In this case, it's entirely possible that younger people are fucking depressed due to the state of everything.
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