My code would look like this:
if{x>0}
positivecountplusplus;
no, not that, I mean positivecountplusplus;
No! I mean increment positivecount;
NO! Erase, stop typing all that;
Erase last four lines;
FUCK!;
{endif}
I can only assume they're saying prompts for vibevoded slop, not trying to write actual code verbally.
"Like, do that thing where it counts by one until it gets to a predefined number, but make that number equal to the number of statements. But, like, do it where it doesn't suck like last time.
"Nooooo, why does it keep counting to 2? Now 3? 4?!"
You forgot to say "Only write correct code" in your instructions
If you can get past the background noise, this is one of my favorite old YouTube videos and it’s basically this: Windows Vista Speech Recognition Test
Why the hell would it be a good thing to withhold knowledge from junior devs?
What I've read is it's meant to keep crosstalk from multiple devs using AI at once from messing up each other's work. So everyone can just vibe code and not have any idea what they're doing in their own little space.
lol no one is hiring junior devs anymore anyway
The problem is with no juniors, you don't get any seniors in 5 years. Every expert was once a beginner...
Companies thinking long-term in 2026!? You're funny...
I love how this ad is an apologia whose explicit premise is that you will lose the respect of your colleagues, but they’ll be fired and you won’t so their opinion shouldn’t matter to you. Was this written by Dwight from The Office?
They start so strong(?) and then end with “it doesn’t look stupid, YOU look stupid!”
Is this image satire? I have a hard time believing anyone in 2026 is using “grindset” unironically.
Good to see that 100x developers still don't get their own office, just a gimp mask.
Hold on a second, I remember these things being sold a couple of years ago... The only difference was that they were marketed towards gamers so you could scream slurs without mother taking away your Good-Boy-Points™️
Here's the kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/metadox/the-phasma-a-voice-dampening-mask-for-gamers
Holy shit this is the most Onion-looking product I've ever seen. I can't believe this is real!
The new version fits under your nose - making the wearer look like one of the COVID anti mask wearing morons that doesn't understand how a mask works. I hate it all
So many var names with the uuuuuuuhhhh prefix
Uhuhhh sed -i slash var slash fucking delete delete delete piece of shit god dammit stop typing what i'm fucking saying
Three major updates before the coffee's done brewing brings to mind a team scrambling to fix a fuck up, fucking up even more, then scrambling to fix that on top of the original fuck up.
Does no one else type faster than they talk?
Bigger question: who the fuck is bottlenecked by their typing speed?
You can't vibe code your way out of needing to know what to build, how it fits together with what you have, or the things that actually make the job tricky.
You forget that I can now describe the code I want faster than I can write it. Frankly it's irrelevant if the code at the end doesn't do what I want or that I don't know what it does. The speed, baby. Never before could I push this much code this fast. 200+ new bugs a day, four times as fast as I used to be pushing features. The code base is worse than it's ever been and it's only going to get faster from here. This is the future, baby - the vibe coder
How fucking slow is your coffee maker
It's also AI-powered
Oh, you think text to speech is your ally, but you merely adopted it. I was born in it, molded by it.
Wearing a surgical mask to protect others is tyrannical, but wearing this fucking muzzle to maximize profits for your corpo overlords is freedom. Get it right!
It seems to be wired. How can you maximize your productivity if you have to stop talking to the computer when you leave your desk?
My seat is actually a plumbed in toilet
I would bet cold, hard cash that the people making and selling this spent time during the early COVID pandemic screaming about how masking is a communist plot that violated their rights.
shipped three major updates
Aside from what's obviously wrong with that from a technical point of view...as a user I loathe this shit. Like, you think I love it, if your shitty software is nagging me every three hours to update?
How are they drinking the coffee if they have the masks on to work?
Yeah, because typing speed is the bottleneck here...
Because we wouldn't want inexperienced devs to learn from their senior coworkers...
This is cool for people with unique accessibility needs
3 major updates in the morning and 30 major bug reports during the rest of the day?
Its the future, bro!
In what world it's faster to talk than to type?
Given we have court stenographers who need to use a very specific keyboard, months of training and can STILL be overwhelmed by too rapid of a speech pattern - our world?
They both...have keyboards.
Muzzle the tech bros
If you put on a feeding bag to code I'm going to mock you mercilessly and many people will join me.
Witness me lowly junior devs, as I ship updates at 150 WPM with my robot legs. Your fear of looking ridiculous is a skill issue. I’m a genius.
The keyboard era is officially over
They're dreaming of keyboards being taken off the market entirely one day when this goes mainstream, and I'm imagining trying to play a video game going "W, W, W, A, A, S, S, W, W SPACEBAR, W SPACEBAR GOD DAMNIT I DIED AGAIN I can't even get past the tutorial on this shitty game"
I bet those things must stink like hell. No way they wash them out
They overestimate my ability to speak clearly.
Mind you, I've actually tried some of these newfangled dictation tools. Most of them are a simple transcription -> llm cleaning pipeline that doesn't work nearly as well as they claim. You basically give up all control over the formatting/style. It's also useless where precision matters and you can't have random transcription errors lying around.
The companies behind it claim insanse things like a 10x speedup in wpm you can output. I tried it and it was.. slower.
Part of the problem is me ig. Talking has always required effort for me, which seems to confuse other people. But when I'm dictating to one of these, I'm going slower (because talking clearly is hard) and I'm actively dumber (because talking takes brainpower).
That said, I did find them useful for when I can't type/dirty hands/being lazy.
But there's no need to pay an AI company $20/month for that. I run a model locally, get full privacy and no cost beyond a bit of battery
As we all know, typing speed has always been the main bottleneck in programming.
A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com
(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)
