this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 84 points 1 week ago (2 children)

But did it affect trout season, though?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Absolute hogs.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

17 people died that day, presumably of a bad trout season

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago

I was dating a Japanese woman when the Tsunami happened. No one would eat anything out of the sea for ages considering...

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

affect trout season

For the better, or the worse?

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

worse. flood will absorb contaminants into the water bodies.

[–] sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

I would imagine the floods would bring the trout out of the rivers and distribute them to locations that are suboptimal for trout fishing.

first one, then the other

[–] TheFerrango@feddit.it 20 points 1 week ago

Anon is right though

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago

Anon has priorities.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I, too, said astonishingly dumb shit when i was young.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

the other day i was on a chowder cruise and one of my new friends there was pointing at a building on one of the piers and asking what it was. i squinted, gave it my best "hrm." and then pointed to the right of where she did and said "well it looks like a boat"

the thing i learned about dad jokes (and similar humor) is that you don't tell them to make other people laugh, you tell them to make yourself giggle. like jimmy fallon.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

TIL there are cruises that only serve chowder. As if that foul industry couldn't get worse...

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Chowder's delightful! That said I wouldn't eat cruise chowder to stave off starvation.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

I like it too, but that would spoil the punchline.

they also had salad and some kind of sandwich i couldn't eat.

[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Died bcause trout was their staple and they couldn't get more?

[–] antsu@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

Too much water made the trouts too powerful. They killed all those people, like in a B-tier movie.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago

Thats honestly hilarious.

Like a joke in a Coen brothers film, ahahah!

[–] wdx@feddit.org 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] mbp@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago

I'd rather be fishing, amirite?

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com -2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Hundreds of thousands of people die every day, get over it

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which is what I will tell you when one of your loved ones died.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago

My nan's dying either today or tomorrow and that's just life.

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What an obnoxiously shitty take. You can say then when some senile celebrity dies thousands of kilometers away from you, not to someone whose local community has suffered mass tragedy.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

It's a greentext, it's likely fiction

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

is mass tragedy worse than watching your father choke to death slowly on his own fluids?

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not comparable at all. Not without context anyways.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

what if my dad was the one who caused the mass tragedy?

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Then you’d better ask your local covenant whether a curse has been cast upon your bloodline, as your father’s deeds may affect your fate

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

oh, i have been undoing his curse my entire life.

[–] womboflll@sh.itjust.works 0 points 4 days ago

Ah, shitty parents are grand

that's less of a curse and more of a stain

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

After the next crisis: "There used to be 9 billion of us..."