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yeah I was gonna do it for my kids but my son was like "so a fucking strange fucking lady sneaks in to my room? at night while I sleep? and takes my teeth?“
i said OK shit jesus you make it sound so shitty.
and it is. but hey other kid loved it. so whatever.
My wife was really into it. She made me go into the room to preform the transaction. I didn't like it. My 6 year old daughter asked me outright if I was the guy putting money under her head and I said yes. She said "I KNEW IT!" and promptly forgot/ignored it because she wanted money.
Yeah, at no point do I recall ever actually believing in the tooth fairy or Santa clause or whatnot, but I do remember playing along with it, not as like a "I like money/gifts" way, but more of a "this is a fun ritual" type of way
My mother told me Santa wasn't real when I was fairly young, and then told me not to tell the other kids. I, being a little know-it-all, of course told the other kids and my mom got a few angry calls from other parents.
my mom has been our santa since i was 10, so believing santa is real was really never on the cards
"huh weird, mom went out to get the newspaper at 20:30 on christmas eve, then santa barges in looking suspiciously slim and feminine"
I recall having Christmas together with some cousins that's 10+ younger than me, the oldest was like 6 at time and I was tasked to be Santa.
That little dipshit just looked me straight into the eyes, in full Santa outfit, and yells. That's COUSIN in front of everyone.
Thanks mate, but maybe 2 year old lil sis would prefer if you don't
should've accused your cousin of secretly being santa
That's quite the potty mouth for a six year old.
I was para fucking phrasing
It’s confusing when you use quote marks for something that isn’t a direct quote.
my "apologies"
When I was a kid, my parents had a tiny wooden jar with the inside precisely sized to fit quarters. They kept it on the mantel in a common area. When you lost a tooth you'd put it in there and there would be two quarters in the jar the next day. No one had to sneak in your room and it's probably easier for the parent to execute.
As an adult now, I wish I had thought about it more when I was a kid. The Tooth Fairy doesn't have an obvious source of income. Perhaps thats the reason for the paltry offerings. She does, however, seem to have an unusually effective logistical network and a lot of consumer good will. Had I been more perspicacious in my youth, I might have negotiated a contract with a lot more value than just a few dollars per tooth.
For starters, we could have partnered with businesses to distribute a tiny, promotional coupon book for a cut of the sales or even just a flat rate. Every kid gets coupons with their tooth money. That could've netted millions.
Also we could act as courier for high priority mail, provided it's light enough and is going to one of the households with a collectable tooth on that night. Probably not much money there, but it's something.
I don't know what The Tooth Fairy's legal risk tolerance is exactly, but I imagine it's pretty high if she's purchasing human tissue without a license. We could have scanned court records to find people with a predilection for restricted goods that are useful in tiny amounts. She just leaves a note with the first tooth and the parent(s) can leave money with the next tooth if would like a bump of whatever The Tooth Fairy is offering. I assume it would have to go to a different spot in the room from the tooth money so the child doesn't get into it.
I've had a happy life, but this is one of my few regrets, that I didn't better realize the potential of The Tooth Fairy. Que sera and c'est la vie and all that, I guess.
This is a fantastic post.
I want to add, that there's a prevalent theory that the Tooth Fairy is the name of the organization and it's mostly low level lackys doing the actual work. I'm guessing TF has a complete monopoly on the industry, but they're clearly not paying their underlings that well if what they leave for teeth is so specific and varyingly low.
The market is ripe for disruption.
Thanks!
Tooth Fairy Union FTW!
🎵
Do you hear the fairies sing?
Singing the song of angry teeth?
It is the music of the fairies
Who will not be held beneath!
perspicacious
Having the power of seeing clearly; quick-sighted; sharp of sight.
"perspicace" in French, and strangely enough, much more commonly used in every day lingo than the English counterpart, no one would need explaining. One example would be friendly sarcastic banter when someone says something very obvious: "t'es perspicace toi hein?".
Speaking english by saying random french words? It's more common than you'd think
one of my hubby's best D&D characters was a faerie who had a penchant for collecting bones... bonus points if they were teeth.
it took exactly 10 minutes into our first session for our note-taker to say "wait... are you the tooth fairy?" and since then he's only gone up in my estimation
When you're a kid you should ask your friends how much they get per tooth and then you just give your teeth to the kid that gets the most and then you can split the profits
Parents of that kid paying for the 67th tooth: By God, what have we created?
it's to instill in children that wealth and success doesn't come without sacrifice. you see these messages all throughout media in america.
even old school stories like the monkey's paw try and sell this.
the weird thing is that you'll never see a rich kid waving away their trust fund because there's dignity and honor in doing it all on your own.
very weird.
If you learn to build a barn from nothing. Its not only the barn you have at the end, its the skills, experience, and confidence you acquire along the way. When trust fund kids just buy a barn, they miss out on all of that and only have a barn. That's why they seem so hollow.
almost everything "Magical" in our world is straight up derived from Paganism or other religious stuff
Ive been struggling for awhile to write a two sentence horror story with the premise of a child pulling all of their teeth for money, or maybe to help their family out of poverty.
It was adorable when my kid started to say that they will use the tooth fairy money to help out on our struggles. But since that money actually starting to appear out of nowhere I haven't had the guts to tell them that their adult teeth will not grow back.
Daaaamnnn. That's an easy 8.5/10. Nice!
Thats pretty good
Maybe something about pulling out teeth to get money for food, but now they can't eat because they have no teeth?
Not a demon. A fey creature.
Which means that by inviting it into your home and giving it part of your child, you're keeping it from abducting your child later. The coin is just a bonus.
The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus are great examples if you're raising kids. "See how eager everyone is to lie to you? Take note of this feeling. Our world is filled with lies just like this."
Kids already have a tremendous sense of wonder, don't feed me that line. My son thought lava was imaginary and was overjoyed when I informed him it's real. People forget how bizarre our situation already is.
The jaw bone's connected to the CASH BONE!
Skulls for the skull throne, teeth for the tooth demon !
Teeth aren't bones
Came here to post that!
They are tougher than bones.
They're much closer to skin than bone!!
Just preparing kids for having to sell their organs for food money to keep billionaires alive.
Ever read Hogfather? It is occult shit.
“All right,” said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need . . . fantasies to make life bearable.” REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. “Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—” YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. “So we can believe the big ones?” YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. “They’re not the same at all!” YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME . . . SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. “Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—” MY POINT EXACTLY. She tried to assemble her thoughts. THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS, said Death, apropos of nothing. DON’T TRY TO TELL ME THAT’S RIGHT. “Yes, but people don’t think about that,” said Susan. “Somewhere there was a bed . . .” CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE’S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A . . . A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT. “Talent?” OH, YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS. “You make us sound mad,” said Susan. A nice warm bed . . . NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME? said Death, helping her up onto Binky.
We watch the BBC live action version every year. ofc the hogfather is made up, Santa is real though.
Also strongly recommended The Life and a Adventures of Santa Claus by Frank L. Baum for anyone navigating these waters with their own kids.
If the toothdemons of old don't get their teeth all but despair will be lost
(Teeth aren't bone, they're tissue. Doesn't change the meme tho it's A+)
eeeh they're partly tissue. I definitely wouldn't call enamel "tissue", and dentin is borderline.
I'll grant you dentin is a werid one, but it's more tissue than not. Wouldn't fight anyone too hard if they wanted to quibble about it, though.
Dentin (or dentine) is a calcified tissue of the body and, along with enamel, cementum, and pulp, is one of the four major components of teeth. (better citations exist but I am sleepy)
But enamel is calcified tissue. I don't think there's any lack of consensus about that classification.
