It is super impressive that you managed what you did. Sorry you're going through this, I know how frustrating it is when you feel like it's one step forward, two steps back.
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2026
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I have no advice, only hugs.
I honestly wouldn't have even thought about that. Thank you for sharing so now I'll know if I ever need it. I'm sending you all the ehugs.
I've fallen quite far down the degoogling / selfhosted tech rabbit hole.
Benefits are cool, but it is nothing but this.
I feel your pain, sister.
I don’t have enough information, but assuming your battery is compatible, can you just rotate it so that the terminals line up again?
That's when you find out the terminals are closer to one side of the battery than the other and the cables are 5cm too short
Original:
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Rotated:
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The box is symmetrical across a 180. The things on it aren't necessarily.
How odd. I've never seen or heard of that before.
They're usually marked with a notation of some kind. I've run across it when I was trying to replace a battery in far equipment, and the OE battery doesn't exist anymore.
Roadside assistance is worth every penny if you can swing it.
A lot of insurance policies include it now
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(6 replies)
I left that Era of " all by myself " and now I play dump even when I know what should be done. I make my life easy and less hustle and more space for pleasure to be served. Ridiculously, this my behavior bring pleasure to opposite sex 😅 only if they knew where I truly stand. Sometimes I have to interrupt their help, because can't see how not knowledgeable they do the work and this is only time when I feel uncomfortable, because my true intentions are seem🙈
My life has taken such a weird path on dependence. I studied engineering in college, nominally as a cis straight guy, wasn't out yet. But life has taken some wild turns. Transitioned. Watched my orientation orientation do a total 180 in the process. Went from mostly liking girls with a passing interest in guys to being exclusively interested in men. Ended up dating, falling for, and marrying a cis het guy. I've worked an engineering career, but an unconventional one and chaotic one. I've spent time in and out of academia, sometimes teaching, sometimes working in industry. Had a PhD program that didn't work out, and I've dealt with a lot of job instability relating to ADHD/ASD.
I never thought I would be in this situation, but it just kind of happened. When I was in undergrad and repressing hard, if you had asked me, I would have told you that my life plan was to start a career, find a wife, and have a family together. Somehow I ended up becoming essentially a stay-at-home wife completely financially dependent on my husband. This coming school year I'll be doing a combination of tutoring, substitute teaching, and my various volunteer work. I keep myself plenty busy, but I'll be lucky if I make a third of what he makes this year. And realistically, with all the career instability I've had, I would probably be on the street or doing sex worth without him.
It's a path I never thought I would go down. Even post-transition I was very independent. We got married in 2018. We entered the marriage with equal net worth. I had even worked my butt off and actually paid off a mortgage on the modest townhome I owned before we wed. But shortly after we got married I started that doomed PhD program, and things just grew from there. I never planned on ending up dependent on my husband, but that's just the way it happened.
I knew a lot would change when I transitioned genders. But I never thought I would find myself in my late 30s, bouncing back and forth in a career between stay-at-home wife and intermittent pink collar work. But you fall in love who you fall in love with, and medical issues are medical issues. We're doing fine. Me working is more about us meeting our savings and retirement goals than keeping a roof over our heads. And our wealth has only grown since we got married, substantially so. Our marriage is stable, we're still madly in love with each other after 8 years of marriage. And we have enough life insurance that I would be OK if something happened to him. But it's still just a lot of complex emotions. And it's not because of anything he's done. I couldn't ask for a better partner. He doesn't control me, not want me to work, or anything like that. I've just had a lot of career difficulties that have produced this outcome. I just never thought I would end up so completely dependent on a man.
Thanks for sharing. While reading one question popped in in my head- don't you find interesting that career decline matched the period of becoming wife ? Asking,because before transition and marriage you had pretty stable income. That what happens to many( very many) women . They dedicate energy in career and after marriage to home, partner's care ect. Imagine adding kids and pets care to that... So, don't yiu ever think that remaining male you would have been more stable financially, more opportunities and better income ? P.s. welcome to women's life in patriarchal society.
I am well aware of what you're referring to. Realize I've worked my entire career as female. Most jobs I haven't even been out to my employers about my trans status. At work, people just assume I'm a cis gal. I could talk all day about the misogyny I've encountered in my career.
And it's complicated. I haven't made a ton of sacrifices for his career. We've done the opposite actually. We moved states for me to attend a doctoral program. He does his share of the housework. He's never once discouraged me from working. As you might imagine, the Venn diagram circles of "straight cis men who would marry a trans woman" and "misogynistic chud" don't have a lot of overlap. I don't feel like I've been pressured or have had to make sacrifices for the sake of his career.
More it's like, perhaps in part due to gender roles, I've chased my passions a lot more than he has. He's always earned well more than I do, so maxing out my salary really hasn't been my primary goal. I chased a PhD for several years that ultimately didn't work out do to ADHD issues. But I kept with it as long as I did precisely because I wasn't under a lot of social or financial pressure to earn a paycheck. And I've also just found though trial and error that I love and excel at teaching.
The real barrier has been my own ASD/ADHD. I've burned out at five different engineering jobs, each lasting no more than two years. I just reach burnout very quickly in office jobs once I'm passed the initial learning curve where everything is new, fresh, and interesting. And at this point, I'm done looking for full time engineering work. I just cannot thrive in a full time engineering design position. (Work at home vs in office makes no difference, it's the work itself that's the problem.)
This year I'm trying something different. I've done a lot of university teaching and a lot of k12 tutoring, but I've never taught at the k12 level. I've applied for and received my substitute teacher's license, and I'll be doing a lot of substitute teaching in the coming year. I'm going to immerse myself in classrooms as much as I can and see if it's a good environment for me.
Interestingly, gender roles have had an affect on the ADHD/ASD front. I was only diagnosed this year, at age 39. I had suspected something like this, but I never had the chance to actually get screened for it. The main reason it went undetected until now is really because I don't have the type of autism traditionally diagnosed. I have the "girl type" autism rather than the "boy type." When I have a meltdown or burnout, it's expressed internally as anxiety or depression rather than externally as rage or physical action. The inward type is far more common among women, and it's why autistism is so under-diagnosed in women and girls. My ASD/ADHD never caused a problem in schooling until I got to the PhD level. I never needed extra time on exams and could always do well in courses. But the executive function difficulties really crippled my PhD work. And it's made office jobs very difficult. But teaching just works with my neurology better than anything else.
So in short, it's complicated. Gender absolutely has had an impact. But it's not because I've had to repeatedly sacrifice my career for my husband's. I think maybe women are more encouraged to follow their passions, or at least to choose career paths for reasons of passion and social esteem as much as salary. Maybe with him serving as the clear breadwinner, I was more likely to chase a passion project like a PhD. And I certainly haven't been helped by the fact that the disability I've been struggling with for years went undiagnosed because of gender biases in screening and diagnostic criteria. So it's not really in the exact form you're imagining, but gender has played a strong role.
Thank you very much for your time to explain and share. I am sure, teaching will be great place for you. Wishing you all the best.
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