I do this so my clothes don't absorb the smell of shit
Oh my god, I've never seen someone else think this. Hello twin...
some of y'all need to eat some g-d vegetables
Beans
Also, bidet.
I misread "shirt" as "shift," and I was like, "damn, 8h to take a shit? What was he eating?" lol
Break out the poop knife as well
WTF are americans eating to make pooping so hard?
Freedom.
(awe, that joke was a reflex but looking at it now just makes me sad)
"Fighting for custody of his organs" is an incredible turn of phrase. That Ronaldo guy should be a poet or writer.
A lot of my friends have very creative idioms and the like. I have a ravenous appetite for things like this
A friend of mine has described an unpleasant bathroom experience as "birthing a hooved animal". Makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Once had a friend comment, "have you ever felt like you should apologize to the toilet for what you just did?"
The look on the host's face was priceless.
Eat some fiber once in a while, folks
Why? What are you implying?!
::takes shirt off::
Yeah, like some good old tainted lettuce, ya dinguses
Are there tariffs on British lettuces?

The US has troubles of its own, they don't want our tainted lettuce!
I thought this was slang for weed for a hot minute
The devil's tainted lettuce!!
The devil's taint
It frees us up. No encumbrances.
Just his shirt, i strip naked
I do that in public urinals.
You must have small feet
I just do this so that my shirt doesn't get in the way when wiping
Cut out the middleman and just wipe with your shirt
I’d be more concerned if he took a portion of his shirt off
I had a teacher who would occasionally wear only one sleeve of a sweater. He claimed it was too hot with the whole thing on. Looked weird.
Here you are with a teacher trying to show kids we don't all have to fit in the same mold, and you call it weird. smh
Fightin, Lovin, Poopin is the Journey song we needed but never got.
If I think it's going to be a journey and I'm not in a situation where I don't care what my shirt looks like (like doing chores on the weekend) but a nice shirt I don't want to wrinkle more than I need to... shirt's coming off.
Sometimes you just need more skin touching air, sometimes it's the sweat making tattle tale creases.
Sometimes just need to feel free

You MFers need some fiber in your diet. Otherwise you are gonna end up with a brain aneurysm from pressing so much.

Could be the opposite. I like to think he was hoping to achieve lift-off.
fighting for me life in here
Microblog Memes
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
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