662
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world

Bonus

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[-] UltraBlack@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

I do this so my clothes don't absorb the smell of shit

[-] bleustenns@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 hours ago

Oh my god, I've never seen someone else think this. Hello twin...

[-] rbos@lemmy.ca 9 points 22 hours ago

some of y'all need to eat some g-d vegetables

[-] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

Beans

Also, bidet.

[-] Ypsilenna@lemmy.zip 4 points 20 hours ago

I misread "shirt" as "shift," and I was like, "damn, 8h to take a shit? What was he eating?" lol

[-] yonderbarn@lazysoci.al 17 points 1 day ago

Break out the poop knife as well

[-] BaraCoded@literature.cafe 3 points 21 hours ago

WTF are americans eating to make pooping so hard?

[-] njm1314@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Freedom.

(awe, that joke was a reflex but looking at it now just makes me sad)

[-] DigDoug@lemmy.world 103 points 1 day ago

"Fighting for custody of his organs" is an incredible turn of phrase. That Ronaldo guy should be a poet or writer.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 25 points 1 day ago

A lot of my friends have very creative idioms and the like. I have a ravenous appetite for things like this

[-] m__a__b@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago

A friend of mine has described an unpleasant bathroom experience as "birthing a hooved animal". Makes me laugh every time I hear it.

[-] ReptilianCleric@lemmy.zip 1 points 10 hours ago

Once had a friend comment, "have you ever felt like you should apologize to the toilet for what you just did?"

The look on the host's face was priceless.

[-] inari@piefed.zip 65 points 1 day ago

Eat some fiber once in a while, folks

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago

Why? What are you implying?!

::takes shirt off::

[-] skooma_king@piefed.social 23 points 1 day ago

Yeah, like some good old tainted lettuce, ya dinguses

[-] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 9 points 1 day ago

Are there tariffs on British lettuces?

[-] mobyduck648@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The US has troubles of its own, they don't want our tainted lettuce!

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 day ago

I thought this was slang for weed for a hot minute

[-] 5765313496@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

The devil's tainted lettuce!!

[-] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

The devil's taint

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[-] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

It frees us up. No encumbrances.

[-] Johnnyvibrant@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 1 day ago

Just his shirt, i strip naked

I do that in public urinals.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

You must have small feet

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[-] Chick0nPlayz@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I just do this so that my shirt doesn't get in the way when wiping

[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

Cut out the middleman and just wipe with your shirt

[-] SteveLeo@piefed.social 22 points 1 day ago

I’d be more concerned if he took a portion of his shirt off

[-] ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 12 points 1 day ago

I had a teacher who would occasionally wear only one sleeve of a sweater. He claimed it was too hot with the whole thing on. Looked weird.

[-] GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 9 points 1 day ago

Here you are with a teacher trying to show kids we don't all have to fit in the same mold, and you call it weird. smh

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[-] thenextguy@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago

Fightin, Lovin, Poopin is the Journey song we needed but never got.

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[-] sartalon@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

If I think it's going to be a journey and I'm not in a situation where I don't care what my shirt looks like (like doing chores on the weekend) but a nice shirt I don't want to wrinkle more than I need to... shirt's coming off.

Sometimes you just need more skin touching air, sometimes it's the sweat making tattle tale creases.

Sometimes just need to feel free

[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago
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[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago

You MFers need some fiber in your diet. Otherwise you are gonna end up with a brain aneurysm from pressing so much.

[-] prex@aussie.zone 12 points 1 day ago

Could be the opposite. I like to think he was hoping to achieve lift-off.

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[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

fighting for me life in here

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2026
662 points (98.8% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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