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How do I...arch better? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
NSFW 34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is going to be really dumb, but please bear with me...

I know I'm supposed to arch my back during doggystyle. I do know that. And I do my best! I honestly try to put effort into it. But, it still just looks...kinda male-ish?
I can't really go face down, ass up comfortably. My lower back seems, honestly, flexible enough, however there's a problem around my shoulder area. It just seems like my shoulders won't let me go any lower? If that makes sense?

I've tried cat-cow pose, puppy pose, child's pose and a couple of other stretches, but I'm not really sure if it's even possible, to do what I'm trying to do.
This is clearly an exaggeration, but this is like...the ultimate goal 😆
The reason I'm making this post...this may be dumb, insensitive and maybe a bit misogynistic of me, but could this be just an anatomy difference? What I mean is, do cis women just have a different curve to their spine or is this just a flexibility thing? If I practice enough...can I achieve something even remotely similar to this?
And yes, I'm aware that not every cis women can do this. Please don't kill me 😭

This post is extremely dumb. I know that and I'm sorry. It's just that my curiosity is killing me. I've been wondering about this thing since I moved in with my bf and I felt like this might be a safe place to ask this kind of thing...

So...if I do enough yoga, can I make this work? Or is there some fundamental anatomical reason that this would be impossible for me? Thanks so much in advance ❤️

Edit: ~~This~~ is a direct link to the image. The original post seems to be broken

Edit2: This is a link to a (hopefully) non-NSFW image depicting the same thing. Sorry mods!

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[-] OhNoMoreLemmy@lemmy.ml 92 points 5 days ago

I really thought this post was going to be about Linux.

[-] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 30 points 5 days ago

It's honestly more likely in this community.

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 5 days ago

LOL
That made me laugh way too hard

Sorry to disappoint 😅

[-] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 5 days ago

I use (my) arch btw...

[-] Marxist_Linuxist@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 days ago

was quite disappointed...

[-] cosmicrose@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 5 days ago

I thought the same thing tbh

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 5 days ago

I realize how dumb all of this is 😭
I just wanna be a better gf...I want to give my boyfriend a show. I want to make fun times even more fun for him. I want to let him know just how glad I am that he picked me, of all people 🩷

[-] meat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 5 days ago

Awww. I would ask him what would make him feel special and what would be extra hot. He's already attracted to you, a slight change in back angle might not be a big deal from his point of view.

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

Awww 🥺
You're probably right. As always, asking him will probably be the best option. Not giving up on the arch tho 😭
Thank you 🩷

[-] death_to_carrots@feddit.org 7 points 5 days ago

Have you asked your boyfriend if he can push you down? Force from the outside can help your muscels to relax and to actually reach a better position.

For this, your BF should put bis palm between your shoulder blades and push down with gentle force. If head and shoulders are down, bis hand is put further back in your back, working the arch inch by inch. At some point you will probably feel where the missing flexibility or even blockage is. Then you can work on this part with stretching and unblocking.

Happy arching.

(I use Arch, btw)

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago

I use Arch, btw

So do I, Arch is good 😄

Have you asked your boyfriend if he can push you down?

Of course I have 😂. Many times actually, but he never has. He says it's not what he's into...
This sounds like a great idea tho. Just slowly, inch by inch. That might actually work. I mean, even if nothing else...being pushed down by my bf sounds pretty damn hot 🤭
Thank you 🩷

[-] death_to_carrots@feddit.org 5 points 4 days ago

Well, if my special other person would tell me "I have this goal in mind, can you help me?" then I would, regardless of any kinks.

While he is pushing you down you should spread your cheeks with your hands. Makes sure that only your head and shoulders are touching the ground and also shows what a good girl your are. Don't resist the pushing.

Who is a good girl? You're a good girl!

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

Waow 🥵
I guess I know what the two of us are doing tonight 😆. Thank you ♥️

[-] death_to_carrots@feddit.org 3 points 4 days ago

Also, already spreading your cheeks standing while pushing your shoulders back should help you staying upright.

Now unclench your teeth and force your shoulders down.

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Also, already spreading your cheeks standing while pushing your shoulders back should help you staying upright

Yesss, I've noticed that. When leaning against a wall for my bf...it helps quite a bit 🤭

[-] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago

Never apologize for wanting to accomplish a personal goal, and never apologize for asking for help.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sure you look great with what you can do, and I'm sure you'll get to where you like what you see! (I also thought this post would be about Linux lol)

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

Thank you so much. That's extremely kind of you ❤️
I should have just made a Linux post, I swear 😭

[-] squeeb@quokk.au 6 points 4 days ago

It's just a flexibility thing, not a cis women thing. A lot of having a more pronounced arch in this position will come down to thoracic extension mobility more than anything else. Depending on the shape of your hips you might find it easier to arch with your knees closer or further apart. Yoga will def help. Most of the way you can train thoracic extension is actually through rotation rather than trying to extend like this, because of the way the spine is shaped basically.

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 days ago

[Joke] Install gentoo

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago

I've used Gentoo in the past. I liked it a lot, just got bored of waiting for everything to compile, lol. Portage is great tho! 💜

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Well, there are precompiled binaries for the bigger packages now. But yes, on slower devices even smaller packages can take a while.

[-] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

Flexibility is a combination of training and genetics just work on stretching. Try adding the term "contortionist" when you search for exercises otherwise you're going to get a lot of stretches and exercises forpain relief in pensioners.

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago

No idea about genetics, but more stretching I can do.

Try adding the term “contortionist” when you search for exercises otherwise you’re going to get a lot of stretches and exercises forpain relief in pensioners

Oh, I didn't even think of that! These look like the "next level" of flexibility exercises, lol. I'll give them a try
Tysm! 💜

[-] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago

Hey! I understand the usefulness of the image. Could you perhaps find one that does not have a person in it? Like. A diagram or something? One of the rules of this community is no NSFW images. Thank you :)

Id weigh in on the subject matter but honestly I am inflexible and probably in the same boat lol

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

I'm so sorry, I completely forgot 😭
Replaced the image with a different one. This is the only other one I have, but this one should at least be SFW...
Please let me know if there are any other problems!

[-] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

Yeah thats absolutely fine. Thanks :)

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 days ago

Honestly i'm way more flexible today. But not as flexible as I would like but yeah some training will help. But I don't know if I can ever reach such length like the image you posted.

Worst case scenario (if you don't try too hard, please don't hurt yourself) you'll be more flexible :3

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

Training it is then 😄

But I don’t know if I can ever reach such length like the image you posted.

I'm starting to think it isn't actually possible. The person probably has good genes or LOTS of training...probably both. I don't think I need to go that far since that's like...the ideal, I guess? I can still try my best

I won't hurt myself, don't worry. Thank youuu 💜

[-] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 3 points 5 days ago

I’m not sure what equipment is involved exactly (and you don’t need to share), but there is a big difference in angles depending on which hole you’re entering. If the top is entering a vaginal canal, you’re going to need to arch your back quite a bit, which means stretching.

Daily stretches are best. As weird as it may feel practicing for this, you should do other daily stretches anyway and just incorporate this in.

Also, there’s a good chance, depending on your partner’s height relative to yours, that they are simply too low (or too high) to get the angle right. They might want to experiment with what they are kneeling on to make it easier for both of you.

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

Pre-SRS, but I'm aware that the angles change post-op. And I just. Can't. Fucking. Wait. It's so far into the future 😭

As weird as it may feel practicing for this, you should do other daily stretches anyway and just incorporate this in.

Lol
Good idea tho! Thank youu, will do 🩷

Also, there’s a good chance, depending on your partner’s height relative to yours, that they are simply too low (or too high) to get the angle right. They might want to experiment with what they are kneeling on to make it easier for both of you.

He's only a couple of cm taller than me, but we've got the kneeling figured out.

NSFW, TMII remember my first 6 months with my bf...we could only do one position and kneeling was hell for him, because he couldn't breathe properly (smoking) and we were also both nervous 😂. Looking back, that was just a really funny time period. We started trying new positions, very slowly, and seeing what worked and what didn't.
We've made so much progress together since then. I'm really happy ❤️

[-] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

The image is broken for me, even when using a vpn

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

Edited! Added a direct link that works

[-] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago

I can't do it quite as dramatically either, just tried

Still looks good enough to have some pics to send to my girlfriend tho :p

[-] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

I guess it does look good enough...
Good for you tho. Enjoy! Your gf is lucky to have you 💜

this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2026
31 points (94.3% liked)

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