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Looks better than Diane Feinstein did at the end though.
Wtf??? That worthless fucking ghoul is still alive???
This is an absolute ass timeline...
You cannot kill that which has no life.
This is one of the best lines Trey Parker ever wrote.
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Nothing good ever happens
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Reporters and photographers were told by Senate staff not to take video of his remarks in the second-floor hallway, even though video is often permitted in that area. Still images were allowed.
From the AP article
Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up
Video would make his unresponsive condition apparent.
He’s being kept alive.
Is he being "weekend at berinied"?
weekend at MITCH, backstory, his wife chao went to China with his phylactery in order to use lindsey graham's soul to reanimate the lich.
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The only vegetable in America that hasn’t been recalled.
Dear Mitch,
You look as fresh as spring lettuce.
Love,
Taylor Farms
Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned
Dang, I only spotted your comment after posting the same joke. Here, have an upvote instead.
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Ooh, they've done a really good job on him. You can't even see the strings!
It’s all animatronics these days
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He's a Chucky Cheese animatronic.
“My recovery has been a long and often frustrating process, and the lingering effects of childhood polio haven’t made it any easier,” McConnell said
He's old enough to have had polio.
Well. He’s certainly not young enough to have had polio.
But they want to ban vaccines.
Rumor has it he arrived on Earth on the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs
He's like 10 years older than Ruby Bridges, I think. That would have made him old enough to scream at her while she was going into her school building or throw rocks at black people going into soda fountains.
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He heard a vote about paid sick leave was presented, and so had to come in and vote against.
One of two things are happening here:
Or
American gerontocracy.
The only thing that makes sense to me is he's completely unable to speak. Other than that, no idea why everything would have unfolded the way it did and is.
Edit: He's talking too. Something stinks. Not saying it's not him, but there's something being hidden for sure.
It took some time for the dark magic absorbed through the ritual sacrifice of Lindsey Graham to fully restore Mitch to a shadow of his living self.
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Took time to find a guy kinda looking like him and the bit of plastic surgery to add Mitches face skin to theirs.
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Are we sure it’s not a clone of Mitch, or a ghola perhaps.
Death, are you sure you don't need glasses?
Fuck it mate, we'll pay for your lasik if you want.
Rigor mortis is the only thing that keeps him sitting up.
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How long can they move him around before the wire implants degrade?
Just drop dead
Some one brought something up when I shared to discord;
he's a millionaire, why is he riding around in a Travel Wheelchair? (cheapest, least comfortable option, usually only used when travelling for the fact that it can be collapsed quite small for car journeys)
Because accessibility is DEI.
/s
When everyone wants you to die but your will to spite them is stronger.
Finally worked the bugs out of the Mitch Droid, it's ready for public viewing.
They took only three months to finalize the clone? I'm impressed!
Someone paint ACME on his chair and wait for falling boulders.
True mental illness. Go home and enjoy your last fucking 15 days on this earth.
Clock is still ticking motherfucker
One of the worst Americans in the history of this country. Hopefully he doesn't last much longer.
It will outlive us all, the Mitchbot-800
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this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2026
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