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Sibling Transfem Community (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hello there, we got permission from the mod of this community to post about our sibling community here.

We created a sibling community at !transfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone that uses a transfem flag we found.

The community will have a different feel and rules to it to this one, so please check out the rules if any here do join it

Thanks for reading this post :).

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[-] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 18 hours ago

I have alwayd aimed to make this community open to all transfeminine and questioning people, including the tougher parts of our experiences. I show and have shown a degree of tolerance towards discussions of internalized transphobia because of that. I think that's important to allow this space to be welcoming to people who are struggling and seeking community.

If there are folks who are interested in a community with a differing approach, OP has created one with some different rules and guidelines to this one. I support the endeavor and this particular post has been approved by me.

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

including the tougher parts of our experiences.

Sure, we do not mean those who join community we have created could never discuss hard parts, but there is a certain element of shame and self-deprecation that is prevelant in transfem communities that many seem to enjoy, and we wanted to address because it can be harmful to themselves and others, especially on a long enough timeline, it can lead to irony poisoning and the like.

I support the endeavor and this particular post has been approved by me.

Thanks 🙂

[-] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 16 hours ago

This is something I've wondered back and forth over the life cycle of this community and admittedly have had to deal with before. I recently did remove a post from another day that crossed that line of being harm causing. I've made actions like that before, but usually I only step in when a user becomes repetitive in this particular way.

There's a balance somewhere between "this community is for all transfeminine people" and "this community must be safe and healthy for its users". I've changed my mind before on exactly where that line is, and in light of your thoughts on this am considering it again.

[-] gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 hours ago

no posts :(

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 hours ago

Yes, we are working on that, and others have told us they will post there soon.

Feel free to make posts yourself, if you'd like :)

[-] Eskarina@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Oh hey y'all, I fondly remember interacting with a fae among you a while ago.

I wasn't even aware of a transmedicalist tone around here, so I'm not sure what this says about myself. Feel free to elaborate on this, if you can, I'd like to be more aware.

It saddens me that you don't feel as comfortable here, I wish you luck with building the community you and your friends dream of.

[-] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I believe cele are referring to the URL of the community being mtf. This community was initially created during the third-party apps exodus from reddit. I created it to function similarly to r/mtf on reddit. Early on in the community's history I held a poll and decided to rename it Transfem. It's been called that ever since.

Transmedicalism is banned in this community, and I believe on lemmy.blahaj.zone more broadly. All transfeminine people are welcome here and anyone creating hostility towards transfeminine people will be subject to moderator action.

Edit: Ammended pronoun

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I believe they are referring to the URL of the community being mtf.

That's not really what our friends had noticed, though yes it can cause some harm on noticing, or to use such language which we understand why they do but it has hurt us and our friends to see it used in many places and communities online.

Transmedicalism is banned in this community

Yeah, we get that, but what some consider transmedicalism may differ from what others have found to be transmedicalist, that's not a slight against any here, just explaining that it may be a different perspective.

By the way, if the "they" is referring to us, our third perspective pronoun is cele not they, just so you know.

[-] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 16 hours ago

I have edited my above comment to use cele, thanks.

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 15 hours ago

Thank you!

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I fondly remember interacting with a fae among you a while ago.

Yes, that is one of us.

Feel free to elaborate on this, if you can, I’d like to be more aware.

We have in the comments of this post and it is explained in the rules a little in the community we have created.

It saddens me that you don’t feel as comfortable here, I wish you luck with building the community you and your friends dream of.

Thanks, we appreciate that.

[-] GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 day ago

You mentioned it will have a different feel and rules. Can you elaborate a bit on how the two communities will meaningfully differ and what specific purpose having a second community will serve?

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

We have been told by some that they were uncomfortable with the feel of this place due to the transmedicalist language and such.

Therefore we want to make a place away from that and make it more welcoming to all, away from such things that those who find such things upsetting can thrive and feel more comfortable.

We want to see more participation from those who welcome a space that is heavily moderated and feel more comfortable in a space without even casual bigotry or harmful ideas about themselves or others as we have noticed other trans beings can be overwhelmingly cynical, self deprecating or just generalising and this has harmed us and our friends in the past.

We want it to be open to more types of experiences as well as such intersections as being both trans gender and species etc, types of femininity that don't fit squarely in the trans woman mold, or a certain ways of performing femininity, which we notice is most of this community we are in currently.

We hope this makes sense and thanks for asking!

[-] crowcore_explorer@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 23 hours ago

i think i would be too anxious about messing up to participate. i have all sorts of internalized bad stuff that i'm working to overcome, but it sounds like a nice place. maybe i'll have my shit together enough some day to join.

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

To be clear, it isn't bad to find things difficult and adressing it and dealing with it in the community we have created would be okay.

It is more there is a certain way many transfems talk about these experiences like self-deprecating and shaming themselves and by extension others.

So like it's okay to say like "I am struggling with feeling bad because of X, Y and Z" reasons in the community we have created, but not like "I am a " and such, there's a certain feel of self- deprecation and shaming that many in transfem communities seem to like, or yes, struggle with, that we want those joining the community to consider and not expose themselves or others to. It's a difficult balance to strike though and we get that.

We aren't here to punish any, more like try and stop a certain way we have seen transfems communicate their struggles that gives 8d6 psychic damage to themselves and others in the process.

We do understand the value of a place where transfems can and we are therefore glad this place exists for those who need to, or want to, but we have found this place often causes us more dysphoria, and we have been told by some of our friends the same, for a few reasons, even on the more positive posts.

We hope you understand better now and we have not caused you any harm.

[-] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 21 hours ago

hope you can <3.

[-] Maxxie@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago

No self deprecation
I'm out ✌️

/jk

[-] erinmeow@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago

meoow! sounds good

this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2026
26 points (93.3% liked)

Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

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