Weight. In my 20s, people said "wait till your 30s" in my 30s they said "wait till your 40s" but it was in my 50s, menopause gave me both hips and torso fat - some hips, some belly, some boobs. 4 kids, 6 years nursing, stayed underweight, but menopause did for me. Now I'm smack in the middle of the healthy range but of course I feel fat because I'm used to being skinny. I don't overeat, I do work out, none of my lifestyle has really changed. And I don't want to diet and wreck my bones, and my body feels physically good (which is not a given at this age) so I feel like I ought to be happy, not even struggle with my weight but I do. It's just a mindfuck to be a medium size when for 50 years I was a tall and skinny person.

I always used to wonder why most old people get meaner. I don't wonder that anymore

Some of the opposite for me.

I thought I would be lonely. I am mostly alone now, but don't feel lonely.

I expected to have worse back pain, but since my 40's it's gotten better, and I almost never have back pain now.

Family is not everything. Keeping family in your life is choosing family. Life does not guarantee a family worth keeping. It is delusional to believe your family cannot betray you.

Socialising. In a manner it's got easier, as I've got more sure of myself, but I've turned into someone who doesn't really care to socialise most of the time.

Weight. I remember very well seeing an overweight man when I was a teenager. He had his shirt tucked in and it was very obvious that his belly flopped over his waist, and I thought, “How could someone let themselves reach that point? Surely they’d notice they’re getting heavier and do something about it!”

Now I’m the fat man.

Accepting that if you grow up poor in America, you don't get to easily move out of that bracket. I grew up in poverty. My first job I made as much as the most my dad ever made in his life at $40k/yr. I make $150k/yr today but in a few months I may be homeless or dead by suicide. You will never hear me tell people they can earn their way out of poverty.

Sleep

Why the hell do I sleep for 2 to 3 hours wake up then struggle to go back to sleep. It started when I hit 50 (56 now) and I'm lucky to get 4 hours of sleep on any given night. Once in a great while I'll get 6 and once 7.5 hours (that felt great).

The funny thing is I have no problem falling asleep when I go to bed. It's only when I wake up in the middle of the night that the problem starts.

It's driving me nuts.

Yes, I'm doing my research and did learn that older adults have issues with sleep. Which really does not seem fair. I'm actually jealous of how my teenage boys sleep.

Maintaining relationships with distant (geographic) friends. Everyone moves around going about their life, you slowly lose contact. Not intentional, "I'll text later" and so on and next thing you know it's been months or years.

The biggest barrier to my love for gaming is actually that I've drifted away from my friends.

Ideological and locational differences have isolated me from the few people I did play with and now it feels hollow to spin up a Minecraft world because what I do alone will never be as fulfilling as building megastructures as a community. The world of Valheim loses it's glow when you're alone in a boat made for 6. The tedious grind of Warframe is a soul crushing slog without the banter of a dedicated fire team. Even games played alone are bitter sweet. I finally have the ability to pay through every Pokemon game legitimately and have no one to trade Pokemon with. Even my character gets a recurring rival to test his growth.

Figuring out what to do when a friend needs money.

If you asked me when I was younger I think I would have either said I won't loan friends money at all in order to preserve the friendship, or maybe something more altruistic like that I wouldn't loan someone money, just give it to them. I had an idealistic view of what my adult friendships would look like where they either don't end up in bad situations, or if they do it's because they make bad choices and the consequences are their own.

But as an adult I have had friends who needed money I can't afford to just give away, but if I don't help them then they may lose their home. Often the amount they've asked for isn't the end of it, after all if I cover one month of someone's rent that doesn't necessarily mean their circumstances have improved over the course of a month.

I've had to set boundaries, accept losses and say no to people I care about who need my help much more than I ever thought I would.

Fitness. All my life I've been athletic, running competitively when younger, which eventually switched to doing years of gym & becoming very muscular. Unfortunately injury eventually curtailed that so I switched back to running in later years for exercise & enjoyment. I tore the meniscus & the surgeon found other issues.

TLDR I've always been a fitness fanatic. My body gave up before I was ready to give up

It amazes me how much it takes just to manage various aspects of life. You add in work and oof its like you feel like your constantly getting behind on things.

Tolerating people.

Buying a house that I don't have to become a finished carpenter, plumber, electrician, and who knows what else to make it livable.

I didn’t think asshole bosses would be nearly as much of an issue as they are. I’ve literally never had a good manager or good experience at work. My most recent job saw my manager going around and telling my coworkers that he was “going to break me like a horse”.

I assumed most things would get more difficult as I age. Turns out I was correct.

The only thing that is easier is building something from a box of scraps. It's harder to see and my hands aren't quite as nimble but I have a boat-load of experience.

Aging. I never understood when my dad went through a midlife crisis, and now im almost 38 and dont know why i still feel 25

I always thought there would be at least something that wasn't a struggle, but here we are

Extreme mental illness.

Honestly? I didn’t think I’d make it past 20, so the last decade-ish has been just kind of taking it in. I had no concept of “getting older” and I know I should but even now it’s still hard to grasp.

I’m pleasantly surprised I’ve kept my joy for gaming, though. And I have cats, which I didn’t think would happen. So I guess accepting that I’m still alive, somehow, is the hardest part.

Buying food.

Not that it was unexpected, just the sheer scope of the difficulty was underestimated in: changing habits, muscles growth, body pains, energy levels, need for sleep...

All that common stuff you hear old folks gripe about. It doesn't come from nowhere. Build healthy habits early and keep them consistent.

Guy at the gym told me he'd aged more between 20 and 30 than he had aged between 30 and 60.

I never expected to have lower back pain in my late 30s. And it was pretty quick too. Within 3 years, I went from playing casual basketball a couple of times a week to not playing at all.

I thought managing my health would be as easy as staying active, exercising, etcetera.

Turns out I lost the generic lottery in a few ways.

Kayaking. Mountain biking.

For the first I know I have the skills and have run some III-IVs this year. But I don't chase them as I did 10 years ago, and frankly am scared of them. My upper body has gotten weak quite quickly and I've lost my roll. Used to love playboating and freestyle. Haven't put my playboat on moving water in 4 years. My half slice scares me on eddy lines and I'm thinking of selling it.

For the second, I just can't seem to climb anything anymore. Oddly enough I'm doing more park stuff than ever though. Lots of drops and gap jumps.

I had COVID a few years ago and I think a lot of this stuff is lingering effects. I am seeing a rheumatologist but nothing has really pulled me out yet.

I'm 56

I just had my third back surgery at 44. Spinal fusion, should keep for a decade I'm told before they have to add to it. Do core exercises and don't use nicotine in any form if you have degenerative disc disease, which you won't know about until your discs start popping like Gushers

Money. I genuinely thought that life would get easier, but money has never been easy.

I played guitar as a kid, and gave it up around 20, with college pressures taking over. 40 years later, during Covid, I picked it back up again, out of boredom. It felt like I had never touched a guitar before in my life.

What I have discovered is that Neuroplasticity is real. I can tell my fingers to do something, and they just won't do it. I'll be coming to a difficult passage, I know how to play it, I've played it perfectly in the past, it's not even that hard, and I know I can navigate through it smoothly...aaaand I still fuck it up. Often multiple times in a row.

It's frustrating to know how to play something, to have played it perfectly in the past, and yet today, your fingers just won't do it. I have come to the conclusion that Neuroplasticity is to blame.

I hear you. The only time I get to play anything is weekend mornings. I'm up at 6:30 whether I want to be or not, and I won't see another soul till at least 11:00.

Because of this, I now tend to play slower paced single player rpgs or rogue likes. Things I can pick up, set down, and pause when needed. I just don't have time to hone my CoD skills like I used to. (Not that I was much better than mediocre to begin with)