Self-deprecatingly describe your home country (lemmy.world)

submitted 14 hours ago by CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Many of us have heard the deprecating characterizations of many countries. Like Putin described the UK as an "insignificant little Island", and Russia has been characterized as a "mob run gas station" or Trump calling El Salvador, Haiti and African countries as "shithole countries".

Let's flip things around for a bit of fun. After a heavy night of drinking with your country's head of tourism, you have one shot to give your best self-depricating characterization of your country for a new border sign.

I'll go first:

Welcome to Canada - Enjoy world class sexual assault in sport -- Come and play!

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[-] b3nsn0w@lemmy.world 2 points 19 minutes ago

welcome to orbanistan, recently renamed for our new glorious leader! we're the perfect hangout spot for commies for that raw soviet vibe, because we sure as hell haven't progressed since. indulge yourself in a thousand intricate flavours of hate, walk the depressed streets of our only city, or simply enjoy our currency making you feel like a millionaire just for being able to afford to visit.

[-] dfyx@piefed.social 3 points 1 hour ago

"The world thinks we are efficient and have no humor. In reality, our trains are a joke."

[-] 0x0@infosec.pub 1 points 1 hour ago

Open house smorgasbord

[-] Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 hour ago

Lazy and rent-seeking. Go figure.

[-] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

I tried, but it came out more bitter than self-deprecating

[-] wezzzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 hour ago

Duitchland but small and with cheese

[-] chconnor@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Small patch of unnaturally flat earth filled to the brim with a mix of moody, always busy, direct to your face, cheese farm descendants turned bureaucrats, drug-den youngsters, aging white boomers that own every piece of real-estate and immigrants from EVERY corner of the planet, all 18 million of whom are perpetually unfulfilled in life even though they're supposedly ranked 7th in world's best list. - "Happy" Holland

[-] absGeekNZ 1 points 2 hours ago

We get left off maps.....often!

[-] zxqwas@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

What's that island again? Tanzania? No... Tazmania? Yes, that must be the one.

[-] TBi@lemmy.world 1 points 45 minutes ago

New Tasmania!

[-] Slartifartblast@piefed.social 3 points 4 hours ago

"Australia is the arse end of the world."

Attributed (and slightly paraphrased) to ex-Prime Ministers Kevin Rudd, Paul Keating (who later denied saying anything of the sort), and Bob Hawke (need a necromancer to find out if he really said it).

[-] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Would you like to supersize that description for only a dollar more?

[-] myrmidex@belgae.social 1 points 3 hours ago

Welcome to Belgium: Rubber or Hands?

[-] mentalcel@reddthat.com 1 points 3 hours ago

Dynasty

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 9 points 7 hours ago

We're nice now, we swear, please buy our cars.

[-] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Either Japan or Germany!

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 1 points 2 hours ago

I can't speak for them but I'd suspect Japan has moved on to "please buy our big breasted animu babes douzo yoroshikuwu". Good for them honestly.

[-] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Turkey managed to convert a secularist revolution into a religious dictatorship.

[-] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 hours ago

Oh man, where to start - America

[-] kromem@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

We all think it's the greatest country in the world.

Also… we never actually learned the names of any other countries in school, so it's kinda impossible to name any alternatives.

[-] Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 hour ago

Do USians really not learn the names of any other countries or is this Kazakhstan and you're Borat?

[-] rbos@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 hours ago

As responsible for the fate of the third world, but everybody blames America! (10pts)

[-] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

cheeseburger genetics

[-] redwattlebird@thelemmy.club 4 points 8 hours ago

Australia - bitches of the USA

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 2 points 2 hours ago

Don't be too hard on yourselves, that's all of us.

[-] BurgerBaron@quokk.au 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

We have really good international PR and people think we're "nice" but most of the governments in charge are conservative. People think we have universal healthcare but it's actually two tier and up to individual provinces where conservatives are eroding public healthcare away with barely a whimper of protest from the citizens. It's cold and dark half the year, our currency is weak, and cost of living is insane. Welcome to Canada!

[-] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 14 hours ago

Welcome to America: get the fuck out, immigrant scum

[-] TrollTrollrolllol@lemmy.world 29 points 14 hours ago

All Men are created equal, well not you, or you, or you over there, and definitely not her.

[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 17 points 12 hours ago

All men are created equal*

^* terms and conditions may apply^

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[-] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 16 points 13 hours ago

It's took me half my life to understand my history. Being Lakota, outside of living in the Dakota's made it very difficult. I am often considered white and I don't understand it. I don't have long hair so that makes me white? But the truth is that my ancestors were the hardest against the immigrant. The Indian Wars of the late 1800s were fought by the grandfathers of my grandparents. That's only a couple generations. My mother's grandmother was witness to Wounded Knee.

The lesson learned is that you can not stop people from migration. Our people were the greatest warriors who followed the Bison as they migrated. We had the biggest tribal territory of all the American Indians.

It doesn't matter if you have an army of the baddest mother fuckers who ever fought... The desperate will to be will always win. Yeah there's still a lot of people on the Rez that will try to get you to leave but it's an accepted truth that we're never going to have our land back to the way it was. We will always have to accept that the white man is a constant presence. Many of us have loved ones and family members that are not native.

But if you go to the Rez, they will almost always welcome you. They will show you the hospitality. The truth is accepting that people are not going to respect boarders when pushed. We should all learn to just accept that and stop trying to fight it. The empires of old made these lines and we don't have to go along with it.

Let's instead try to find a way to deal with it, together. So many people. All of us, the people. The words we as Lakota use to describe ourselves is always in it core, a phrase that means The People. The world is big enough for us all. Our world is rich enough to support us all if we resist hate and bigotry.

The ultra rich are the ones trying to exclude. They are the enemies trying to hoard all the resources. The last thing some foreign people looking for salvation want is your destruction. The history of brave people who walked into Indian territory and made peace with the people is amazing.

There's a story in my family about a Scottish lady who somehow found herself in the tribe during the early 1800s. She was always the Scottish lady but she was so loved that we all know who she is.

This is the way. We just have to open our hearts and minds to accept it.

[-] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 8 points 10 hours ago

Welcome to Canada - where our talented people get famous elsewhere.

[-] Mr_Fish 40 points 14 hours ago

Good luck finding us on a world map. We're famous for two things: an adaptation of a British guy's books, and constantly trying to convince people that we do not want to fuck sheep while one of our banks goes and makes an ad campaign with a sheep that the internet decides is sexy.

[-] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

You guys would have been fine if somebody had taught the bank about the Streisand effect.

[-] BlueEther@no.lastname.nz 32 points 14 hours ago

Welcome to New Zealand, just off the coast of best sporting nation in the world

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[-] Saarth@lemmy.world 0 points 4 hours ago

I think being Indian is deprecating on its own at this point in time.

[-] witty_username@feddit.nl 26 points 14 hours ago

Netherlands - capitalist water germans

[-] Hinori@scribe.disroot.org 3 points 8 hours ago

Why limit yourself to just a border sign? Let me write a whole self-deprecating travel booklet!

Welcome to one of the world's famous places for exile convicts since XVII century!

It's cold in here? Oh, don't be silly, just put on some warm clothes! You simply have to, as you're now trapped here and not even allowed to have too many proper roads to the mainland. Don't even try to leave this place!

Tired of campism? Don't worry, there are only two living camps: governor-general's people and aggressive bears. So you won't be torn between factions... you'll just be torn into fractions.

No, of course you're not allowed to claim any of these abundant natural resources! In fact, you're considered as one of them. How convenient to keep you here!

Welcome here! You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining places in the globe. It's safer here. At least there are no motor-scooter sounds in the night sky...

[-] palordrolap@fedia.io 17 points 13 hours ago

"Explored the world for spices but decided we didn't like any of them." is the usual one.

"A nation of Baldricks and Blackadders" might also work.

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[-] Quilotoa@lemmy.ca 25 points 14 hours ago

Canada - Europe without the culture

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[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 24 points 14 hours ago

Closed for repairs until Jan 2028.

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[-] lilith267@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Welcome to the USA: Any improvement thats honest about what it does will be rejected. Instead we will accept obvious lies

Welcome to the USA: YOU are immune to propaganda, anyone who disagrees has fallen for propaganda

[-] Fedegenerate@fedinsfw.app 13 points 13 hours ago

We are responsible for the most public holidays globally: they're all independence from us days.

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[-] AgentSeven@lemmy.zip 3 points 9 hours ago

Welcome to the US: we are a lot friendlier than the actions of our government might lead you to believe.

[-] otp@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 hours ago

Not quite as bad as the US in almost every metric! Proud second-last place on every ranking of developed countries.

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this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2026

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