Contentment and peace arise ultimately from within,

Where external factors can only attempt to penetrate.

It is why many use alchemy to help order ourselves aright,

That we may see clearly the good we have,

And to love and cherish each other and every day.

Sleep important, you need sleep!

And I was able to indeedy~! Woke up once but fell back asleep pretty quick. Insomnia medication is very helpful for this here Insomniac. Used to be cooked without it, haha.

Bread.

Awwie, thank you thank you dear!

The power of Yuri(been dabbling in BL too, finally found some interesting ones). My Library started off pretty much exclusively Yuri. Whisper Me A Love Song is still top brass, waiting on its next volume.

If you think about it, I would love to hear your thoughts about it when you do! <3

Hey there mate, just got around to seeing this comment thread.

I can assure you that AI was not used in any part of my post, I was overcome with emotion and had to put thoughts to paper as-it-were.

And the words you lifted an eyebrow at seriously are just a part of my standard vernacular, I understand why you would scrutinize it though(believe me you, you are not the first or will be the last that has found my writing and speaking odd).

If your writing style in online posts and comments is so spruced up that it ceases to prioritize conveying information and becomes instead about acting like some persona, you've gotta stop. LARPing is fun, in the right context, you've gotta be able to turn it off sometimes.

One thing I will say is that I do not apologize for who I am. Not going to feign offense for the sake of it, but I will say you need to be careful passing judgement on people being "LARPers," for just existing as who they are, as that can cause offense for people, especially those who already have difficulty engaging with people as it is.

In a sense we are all personas, we use masks in our day to day lives consciously or not to hide the deeper recesses of ourselves. But at least insofar as this post is concerned, I spoke as I felt and typed it in that wise. The post was genuinely written, even if one finds it eccentric.

Hope this helps contextualize a bit, I wish you nothing but the best dearie. <3

haven't heard of her until now actually

My being old forever gets reminded of, ack. On a serious note, you should absolutely watch RWBY, it is fantastic!

Thank thank! I read your name and immediately thought of Ruby Rose, no idea if that was at all an intended reference or not by you. Either way, Remy is a lovely name!

Thankies yourself for the welcome, and no worries about being late~

Dreamland was as vivid and strange as usual, though I would not necessarily call them nightmares(thankfully), just a twinge of annoying, haha. A new week greets us! Hope it greets you well, fight on!

Oh how dearly and mercilessly we despise those who dare cause distress upon the cuties of this land.

Firstly--

i guess this is more of a rambling vent post than anything. maybe part of me wants someone to give me permission to finally be done with them, but i know i only need my own permission. something keeps holding me back. i guess the societal conditioning runs deep... ugh anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Whatever is or is not the reason, purpose, objective, type, or whatnot regarding the post, it is a valid one, and most importantly, you are valid, to hell(or better yet, away from it so I do not have to see such terrible people) with those Cultists.

Onto the contents of the post itself:

every time i think about trying i get this horrible sinking feeling like no matter how well i write it, how clear i am, how gently i tell them, no matter what its going to go badly.

Dearie, others have posited similar--If you feel as though it will, then they have zero right to know to begin with. Them missing out on their lovely daughter because of their ignorance and spite can burn.

theyre republicans and religious

Oh boy, the greatest combination a hypocrite could ever aspire to be. Gross.

they were authoritarian when i was growing up and loved to use shame and punishment (both physical and emotional) to pressure me into doing what they wanted. they never listened to me when i was a kid and treated me like i was their property rather than a person who they were responsible for caring for. it always felt like they just wanted me to be a perfect little emotionless robot who did whatever they wanted.

Story time if you will spare me a second of archive--I worked alongside an individual once. We sparred many times but nonetheless we saw each other as equal proletariats(and fucked over all the same). One thing he said contextualized a lot, in the raw, honest, detestable hatred that spewed out of his mouth, saying that he would disown his kid if they ended up trans. He wanted his child to be exactly one thing and one thing only, as he viewed his children as his property(something he also had said prior). You are likely not far off-base in thinking that your parents might be in a similar vein.

i doubt even if i can get past all that theyll ever gender me correctly or call me by my chosen name if i ever decide to change it.

If they fail the basic test of decency and can do nothing more than continue to try to brainwash you with tired drivel and deny you who you are, then they do not deserve you. And if you believe they will fail that test, they do not deserve your attempt at extending them a reed they would rather paw away.

so yeah im thinking about going no contact, just cutting them off entirely. i kept thinking i should at least try to come out to them, give them one final chance to show me they arent the horrible people they showed me they were my whole life, but over the months of trying to work myself up to telling them ive come to the conclusion it might not even be worth the attempt. we barely have a relationship at all right now, just one or two short phone calls a year i kinda just suffer through. its coming up on two years since i visited them, and they live literally thousands of miles away. it would be so easy to just never see or talk to them again and theres literally nothing i want from them at this point.

You are well within your rights to cut off your bloodline, and need nobody's permission so to do. Bloodlines can choose to build a connection that transcends this mortal coil, or they can poison the well so that there is no more connection between those sharing it than an analysis nominally concluding a connection.

Let not a single soul dare try to tell you that bloodline's are some magical inviolable link that must always be preserved. What needs preservation is Family, and Family is found; not taught, not forced, not decreed, but found. If the bloodline fails you, then they are the failures. And they are nothing more than a memory to be severed.

Whatever you decide, know that there are many of us in similar camps with our own bloodlines. You are not alone. You have a Family, you do not need rusted, rotted, decayed tools that perpetuate abuse.

Being depressed but pretty is dumb.

Not in the slightest. All of us handle things in our own way, and you flaunting your girlish charm is right as rain to do! Also, you are indeed cute. And that is a fact to slice through the silly shadow that wants to give you a day of bleh.

For me, just getting my comfy nightgown on in the mid-day is enough to make me feel better than I was when I was just simple bedrotting earlier. If you ever need an escape from reality for a spell though: https://redirect.invidious.io/watch?v=g4edUoRObOc