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[-] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 22 points 9 hours ago

I'm not a man, but I don't feel like we should be guilting boys by insulting their entire gender, something they didn't choose to be, and for something they likely have no desire to do themselves. That's how you push people into the manosphere, looksmaxxing, alpha males and stuff, because they feel like they're not accepted by progressive people because of their gender.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

we should be guilting boys by insulting their entire gender,

The post literally points out at that it isn't all men, but it's a lot.

[-] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 hours ago

If your slogan is that all men are the problem then it will be interpreted that all men are the target.

I saw another post that said "AlwaysAMan" and I think that gets the message across a lot better.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 hours ago

What is everyone reading? The post literally points out that it is not all men.

“All men” isn’t a slogan here. “A lot of men” is the truth. Most rapists are men.

[-] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip -2 points 2 hours ago

The post doesn't exist without the context surrounding the discussion. Quite a lot of the discussion I've heard is people bending over backwards to say they know it isn't all men but that it's okay to say all men are the problem.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 hours ago

but that it’s okay to say all men are the problem.

Where?

The majority of rapists are men. That's the truth. We need to be able to acknowledge that if we're going to get anywhere near reducing rape and sexual assault.

[-] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip -2 points 1 hour ago

This whole thing is a shitstorm on tiktok. My wife has been perpetually pissed off about it so I've heard plenty of people making these claims, men and women, from there.

No one is refuting of disagreeing that point, just that there are better ways of making that statement then shutting down innocent people defending themselves. Prejudice and stereotyping is wrong, doesn't matter who it's targeted at.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

The post literally points out that it isn't all men.

People are pissed off that yet another young woman has been raped and nothing was fucking done about it. It's not just a TikTok trend.

This has been happening since before I was even born. When is it going to get better? When are we going to stop pausing the conversation in order to reassure men that it isn't all of you and we're so sorry your feelings are hurt and maybe if we're raped a little quieter you can feel not as guilty about holding your fellow men accountable for their misogyny.

Stop crying about women being angry about how we're treated and start holding other men accountable.

[-] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 1 points 46 minutes ago

You just type the same thing repeatedly without even considering what I wrote. Clearly you aren't here for discussion, just reaction. Not sure why you would be so focused on "did you read the post?" when you are so focused on not doing any reading yourself when people respond.

You asked where I heard people repeatedly state "all men", I answered. The Cornell situation is a hot topic right now and is getting a lot of engagement, so this is, in fact, a trending topic. Especially on tiktok. I can't change that you don't like that answer.

I get the topic is upsetting but you're fighting the wrong people. I don't know what the strategy of insulting the people already on your side is called, but I wouldn't say it's the right one.

When will it get better? When people stop taking the tribalistic approach and making blanket statements to create reactionaries. When people can identify the problem and solve the problem together without lashing out randomly and hoping that it gets fence sitters to somehow agree with them. You want the doofus men who don't see the problem to help? Stop insulting them. You can grandstand forever about how they should make the right choice regardless, and I agree, but that's not how humans work and we both know it.

For the record, I don't knowingly associate with anyone that is misogynistic and I always point out when someone I know says something that is sexist. Same as I would do when someone says something misandrist or racist. All prejudice is wrong. I also absolutely agree we absolutely need to hold people accountable for committing crimes. No one should be exempt from punishment for harming others because of gender, class, or race.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 20 minutes ago

I clearly meant it isn't a TikTok trend the way that the man vs bear debate was or in the way a new dance catches on. This extends beyond TikTok. This is a huge conversation that many people in many different areas are having because it keeps happening over and over again with no sign of slowing down.

[-] glimse@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

I am convinced that if #metoo was 10 years early, before I developed self esteem, I would have FOR SURE fallen into the manosphere. I just wanted to be accepted while popular culture regularly reminded me every day that the people I care about (mostly women, I had no male role models) think I'm evil.

I knew I had problems but I wasn't evil so who would I have listened to? Probably the group saying I'm good and cool and strong just for existing. The group promising to help me fix my self esteem.

I get it now, I know they're not saying ALL men. But the problem I still have with the popularity of that hyperbole is that it alienates the most vulnerable young men.

I don't have a solution to suggest. Just wanted to share my experience to support your stance.

this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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