711
all 38 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] Sarcasmo@piefed.social 123 points 7 months ago
[-] frog@feddit.uk 72 points 7 months ago

Pattern: Death

Try dying

We noticed when people die they consume significantly less to no calories

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 7 months ago
[-] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 73 points 7 months ago

The calories don't count if I pass out before I log them.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 62 points 7 months ago

I hear meth is also good at suppressing your appetite.

[-] mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 months ago

Perhaps, but I hear it may have certain side effects...

[-] skisnow@lemmy.ca 4 points 7 months ago
[-] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 6 points 7 months ago

A nutritionist and a personal chef? I don't have that kind of money.

[-] amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 7 months ago

cancer definitely makes you lose calories, I am a diet app and very smart

[-] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 36 points 7 months ago

AI dietologist 🔥

[-] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 26 points 7 months ago

LLM-fueled?

[-] First_Thunder@lemmy.zip 21 points 7 months ago

Are they counting with the calories from the alcohol itself?

[-] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 7 months ago

Hey, if you eat nothing while bing drinking you can keep calories low :)

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Calories and thiamine both!

[-] m4xie@lemmy.ca 18 points 7 months ago
[-] mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

I assure you it's perfectly legal, as long as you are of drinking age.

[-] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 18 points 7 months ago

It kinda works for me. Sipping on a whiskey works to shift the craving for chips after I've already eaten dinner. Of course, that goes out the window if I don't keep it to the one drink.

[-] 18107@aussie.zone 17 points 7 months ago

Could it be that you forget to write down calories after a sufficient amount of alcohol?

[-] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 16 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Sowreee ofeesir, I'm on diet

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 7 months ago

I’m charging you with Diet Under the Influence!

[-] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 7 months ago

Ah yes, the College Sophomore technique: Don’t eat all day, so the party beer gets you absolutely wasted when you’re drinking on an empty stomach. That’s just efficient use of resources.

[-] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 9 points 7 months ago

Alcohol makes me eat more

[-] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

You could also try losing a leg. Those are pretty heavy.

This idea brought to you by ChatGPT

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 7 months ago

Isn't alcohol digested as sugar?

[-] CubitOom@infosec.pub 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)
  • Pure alcohol has 7 calories per gram
  • Sugar has 3 calories per gram
  • Carbs has 3 calories per gram
  • Fat has 9 calories per gram
[-] mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

So you're saying alcohol is healthier than fat...

[-] CubitOom@infosec.pub 2 points 7 months ago

Actually fat can help you feel full quicker and then eat less overall

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 7 months ago

Also, the whole myelin sheath thing.

[-] Aeao@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

“Have you considered cocaine?”

[-] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 5 points 7 months ago

Whiskey, the social laxative hero we all wanted, but didn’t know we needed.

[-] heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf 5 points 7 months ago

lol. You should get rid of this app.

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

...I mean, this isn't automatically bad advice. Kinda depends on the quantity and frequency of the alcohol vs calories. If you're having a glass of wine at the end of an otherwise nutritionally well-executed day; vs going apeshit with candy, soda, chips, etc - but not drinking; the former is definitely the better of the two. Recognizing and leveraging those kinds of patterns are key to making some new change into a habit.

Especially if you treat this as a stepping stone to develop some good habits while weening off of bad ones - for that to work you need to tolerate some degree of bad ones as you dial them closer and closer to zero.

Perfect is the enemy of good.

[-] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 7 months ago

Big brain. Huuuge brain. Big ol' bulbous throbbing pulsating brain time.

[-] londos@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

https://youtu.be/WM273cwMuQI

Classic so old I don't even think it does the rounds anymore

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

"You should my calorie intake on the days I smoke crack!"

[-] dbtng@eviltoast.org 2 points 7 months ago

Yes. Ok. Let's do that.

[-] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 2 points 7 months ago

when your nutrition app has a contract with Suntory

this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
711 points (99.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41916 readers
5819 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS