Ask Lemmy

Early and often. I used to be one of those people who would just never admit if I'm wrong, grew up with them for sure. Learned it's WAY less stressful to just admit the moment you realize you're wrong.

That said, I use devils advocating to figure out what my actual opinions are, so I will argue positions I'm not 100% sure of pretty adamantly. Always seems to throw people when we debate for 20 minutes, me passionately defending my stance and then at the end I'm like "huh, yep. You right." Most people think I'm fucking with them or something and keep trying to argue and I'm just like "yep, 100% agree".

Quite often but I find that if I admit I'm wrong but the other person never does then I stop when im around them.

We'll find out if I am ever wrong. 😤

usually it takes me a while to contemplate what the other person just said and whether they're actually right. sadly by then they're mostly gone so i can't tell them.

This is something I need to work on, and its more apparent to me after having a conversation with my mother recently.

She said something quite unpleasant to my bf, and when I said how hurtful it was to both of us I was met with her denial, her refusal to see how hurtful it was and it was my fault for being upset, and also that I should just move on and forget about it

If she'd said that it came out wrong, or was sorry to have said something that had landed in a hurtful way etc that's all I/we would have needed

Unfortunately i can see this attitude in myself, in the fact I find it near impossible to apologise for anything

I think my mother has a lot of her own issues around this, and I have my own 'version' because of my issues (my autism, and the fact that she's my mum)

So I'm now going to do my best to rethink my behaviour and do some self reflection...

I really don't want to be like my mother at all

When I am wrong and there is evidence?

It makes sense to me, because you learned something.

Once I realize it I will admit it. I kind of like it because it opens up a little spot in my head that's eager to be filled with better information.

Daily.

Whenever's there's a disagreement I'll at least entertain that I might be wrong.

Being wrong and not knowing it feels exactly like being right. You wouldn't know.

Nevermind situations that are more about perspectives than actually binary right/wrong.

When I'm wrong, I always admit it immediately.

It just hasn't happened yet /s

I tell people I hate being wrong, so the sooner I am corrected or can correct myself the better.

And the answer is... whenever I'm wrong. I am fairly diligent about thinking through what I say and do, but everybody makes mistakes or lacks knowledge, so I am quick to admit being wrong when I am.

Also, counterintuitively, quickly and casually admitting to being wrong often serves to make people forget you were wrong in the first place. My wife and I have had conversations where she admits being wrong (after entirely too much argument), and comments about how I'm never wrong. And I tell her I'm wrong all the time, I just admit it quickly instead of making a big deal about it, so it's not very memorable. (As we've gotten older, those conversations have become more rare, but she still had me 3D print a medal and trophy wall mount, where she gets a "You Were Right" medal or a trophy each time she's right... like when she convinced me to take my vomiting dog to the vet at night on a weekend and saved his life, and ended up with a dachshund trophy for her wall)

I think that it's natural for people to think they admit when they're wrong, but it's also natural to not admit it. As humans we don't make decisions based on logic, we do it based on emotions. We then instead explain our decisions with logic. I think the usual way people's minds change is that they'll effectively be convinced of something but won't really admit or accept it (or even be consciously aware of it), but then the next time the topic comes up they'll have the new opinion.

Never (I rarely speak)

All the fucking time. "I don't know" are the three most-important words. It's pretty much the key to everything, you can't improve without it.

There have definitely been times in my life I refused to admit it. It’s more common if people arguing against me are inflammatory: “LOL, you absolute moron! Take a look at this: (well-researched study)”

I think most recent was doubt towards the accusation Chet Faliszek opposed SKG. I still think it’s not quite as clear cut as being an industry shill, but the guy clearly expects more good faith from major publishers than the rest of us do (having worked for the best one).

narcissist do that, they wont admit, and will just double down.

On the Internet? Almost never, I like arguing.

With people I actually know? All the time.

Pretty much daily. I will do it every time I know im wrong. Sometimes I'll be wrong and not realise it and look like a tube later, but thats life.

The only time I wont willingly admit it is if the other guy is a prick and it won't do to give them an inch.

I usually admit right away because the more you deny it the bigger the lie and the problem become

Whenever I'm wrong. I'm more interested in the truth than my feelings.

I'll admit I'm wrong more often than I'll say I was right. I know I'm stupid and most likely got 0 idea what I'm talking about.

Frequently. When I recognize I'm wrong; it's a couple of times a week at least.

That does not generally coincide with when Lemmy thinks I'm wrong, which also happens a couple of times a week.

At least once or twice a week. Maybe more, a lot of the silly mistakes I make and apologise for are pretty forgettable.

For actual book knowledge things you can look up, once every couple months or less. Mostly because I look up a lot of book knowledge, and rarely am behind the curve.

Subjective-ish things are a weird one, because the reason why you arrive at whatever conclusion has a lot more substance than whatever it happens to be. You pretty much have to grow as a person to change your mind on politics, for example. There are people who, if I could speak to them again, I'd like to tell they planted a seed that eventually won me over.

I think some people believe admitting fault is a sign of weakness, but I find it’s more of a power move.

The shitty thing is, certain people will take nothing away from that about your character. It just means you were totally wrong and cornered into admitting it, so you must not be very smart. The end.

Now, maybe those aren't the best people, but there still might be a cost to ignoring them.

Often, because I'm often a potato.

Sometimes I nearly fall into the "I don't care about facts, I'm still right" trap. It's really enerving to know I might really fall in some day.

often. usually, when it's something I misjudged. there's no shame in it - I had x information, I thought it would be a good idea to do y. I forgot to consider z. can't win 'em all. or yep I screwed I up I did these calculations / tasks wrong because I was rushing.

it's harder when it's an "oh shit yeah I was out of line" thing, but I do it whenever I can because I genuinely want to know if I acted appropriately or not

I will always own up to being wrong if I agree that I was wrong. I will be an absolute pain in your ass if I think I'm being blamed for something that's unfair/untrue.

As often as I am. Which has become less common in my old age.

I think some people believe admitting fault is a sign of weakness, but I find it’s more of a power move.

Yep. Potentially unethical protip: a lot easier to admit you're wrong when you make claims carelessly to begin with.

Prove me wrong and find out

Lately I admit I was wrong in all instances, maybe just at work it's harder. And idk why, maybe because I'm always mentally exhausted at work.

All the time. People tend not to take it well but that seems their problem.

Also it's one of the things destroying politics.

I try to express my wrongness in a casual way in front of my child or children in general. I aim for them to take away that it's not a big deal and there is no big stakes in always being right. And if I am right I try to argue facts and attempt to leave personal stakes out of it.

My mother never admitted that she was wrong. I don't want to be like that to my kids or any one else.

I can get defensive, but with some after thought I will admit I was wrong.

I actually usually admit if I'm wrong, but I think I don't if it's a thing where it's obvious I was wrong and the other party is holding it over my head. It's a character flaw but also I don't really know how to deal with that situation because admitting I'm wrong to a person doing that, in my mind, gives them permission to blame me for anything else adjacent to the situation, which is usually unfair.

Every time someone is able to convince me I'm wrong, which is not hard to do, I tend to consider things logically, so empirical evidence that I'm wrong will make me flip immediately. Unfortunately most people use very flawed arguments like trying to appeal to emotions or strawmaning my point (or one of the many fallacious things we all have to deal online). And that will not convince me, in fact it only proves you have absolutely no argument. Which is very unfortunate because I'm wrong quite often, and it only takes one person pointing at actual evidence that I'm wrong to make me realize that, yet the majority of my disagreements online end up at an impasse with the person refusing to find common ground to build the debate up.

One of the best interview questions rarely asked. I hate working with people who have to always be right.

Whenever I'm wrong 😀

When I'm wrong ... I admit I'm wrong. No shame in being wrong about something.

As often as I am actually wrong.