Carbon monoxide does things you know... open those fking windows.
this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2026
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They found the Friend Zone.
If you think that’s bad, wait untill a lamp starts looking a little weird.
Dude fuck you I think about that all the time. Much of my life lately has odd coincidences that feel as if they're extrapolated from my comatose mind after I got shot in 2018. With on particular lamp I've managed to hold onto since then centering the re-occuring thought.
And the fucked up part is I think I'd honestly be happy if I woke up then.
When I was in high school, I heard this thing about getting "high" through blood pressure and oxygen manipulation. The technique (don't try at home):
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Be seated.
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Actively hyperventilate for 30s. Deeeeep breaths.
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Stand up quickly.
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Immediately stick thumb in mouth with full lungs and attempt to blow air out as hard as possible without actually letting any out.
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That's it. That's the whole thing.
So, feeling dubious, I tried it while hanging out with some friends. I stand up, do the thing, and in <5s boom. Dreamland. I had what felt like a full 6-hour experience, semi-lucid dreaming. I had some control and awareness that I was dreaming, flew around some giant yellow and pink mushrooms. I dont remember any other details at this point, but it was a whole day pretty much.
Wake up to my head hitting my buddy's guitar. I somehow had an hours-long experience in the time it took for me to pass out and hit the ground. Haven't done it since, but man, I don't think I'll ever forget that. One hell of a ride.
don't try at home
Should I try this at a train station then?
If you can. If not, a dim alley or gas station bathroom is fine.
That sounds like wonderful advice.
First, when you hyperventilate you expel CO2 from your system. Desolved CO2 in blood causes it to be slightly acidic so when you rid yourself of it, it leaves your blood more alkaline. Oxygen uptake into the cells is highly pH dependent and its efficiency degrades with higher pH such as when breathing fast. Second, when on your knees, or squating, your blood circulation adepts to the blood pressure increase. Once you stand up it takes a while for your system to catch on leaving you with a brief moment of low blood pressure. People with POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) are very aware of these frequent moments of light-headedness. Third, compressing air into your chest cavity (breathing out but obstructing the air) is called the valsalva manoeuvre and overall decreases blood pressure further while decreasing pulse rate. Combining the rapid breathing in a sitting position followed by standing up and the valsalva manoeuvre will cause temporary oxygen deficiency in the brain causing you to pass out. For obvious reason this isn't advisable to do but if you must, then do it with someone present who can monitor you to make sure you fall safely on a soft surface and make sure you lay flat to aid blood circulation and call emergency services if you're not coming to after a few seconds and can administer CPR just in case.
this thing about getting “high” through blood pressure and oxygen manipulation. The technique (don’t try at home):
Where the hell am I going to try it, then??
At the gay brothel
It seems like your whole life flashed in front of your eyes...alas, you did not die
Bruh if that was my life sign me the fuck up. 98% of my dreams are better and more interesting than my life, including whatever the hell this was. Alas is right.
My salvia experience was like that.
So no one told you you would never find your way
👏👏👏👏
You're trapped forever, you're lost, your one life's D.O.A.~
It's like you're always stuck going down some stairs!
When you're stuck a day, a week, a month, or even a year~ but
I'll be coming for you! (When the rain starts to pour) I'll be coming for you! (Cause you've been here before) I'll be coming for you! (And there's nothing you can do~) Dun da da di dum di di dum.
Average sitcom viewing experience
Anon discovers sleep apnea.
Remembering your dream at all is consistent with not being asleep for long
This is why friends don't let friends watch Friends
I have massive time dilation when I have dreams. I can have what feels like an 8 hour+ dream in a 30 minute nap. Also if I go back to sleep right away I can rejoin the last dream.
Maybe you're being dropped into another instance in the simulation.
Could be, they had that guy that said if you take DMT and shine a laser along the wall you can see code running. He says other people see the same thing.
Found it:
Gotta try this before it gets patched
I would too, I'm no stranger to psychedelics except DMT. I wouldn't even know where to look for that and be able to trust it.
You can get the precursors pretty easily and there are a lot of guides
Mere The Matrix movie influence. Do you see code running along the walls in game glitches? No? Because simulating that is stupid (just like rendering the sea waves on the whole map in Crysis 2, because of a deal with Nvidia). And our reality is made of atoms anyway.
Are any of those people software developers? I'm curious what kind of code it is. I hope it's not JavaScript.
I took DMT once and it's in my top ten worst experiences I ever had. Didn't have a laser with me and even if I had I would've be unable to use it.
However, I also had a common DMT experience: The "dial in" tone. I don't know why it's called like that, it has nothing to do with modem sounds. It's just a really loud high pitched beep that distorts at the end.
I hope it's not JavaScript.
It's PHP all the way down.
My dislike for PHP is close to my dislike of JavaScript. As far as I know (don't correct me if I'm wrong, I'd better not know) PHP doesn't have such an insane community that reinvents every wheel in JS and builds the worst dependency hell one could imagine. Everything else is yanky as hell though.
If reality was spackled together with js and PHP, it would explain quite a few things
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You know, one thing i read recently... tons of people say all the wacky near death experiences are a result of dmt flooding your brain, right?
Well there's no good evidence for it. Literally they only say that because our bodies like most life produces the chemical, so anything crazy "must be a drug related experience". But they did studies on rodents which also produce dmt, and nothing showed dmt releasing near death.
It's a total cop out of an explanation with no scientific evidence.
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I’ve had dreams that took place over years. An entire alternate lifetime in one of them. Always very disorienting to wake up from one of those.
I I completely understand, my dreams are so real. I can smell, feel the breeze, etc. Sometimes when I wake up I have to look around and remind myself I'm in bed and its a dream.
Sometimes thats awesome, other times its a horror story. The last one was a mixed bag...
I remember waking up after a lifetime-long dream, seeing my partner asleep beside me, and hugged her so hard she woke up and got mad at me. Didn’t care, in my mind I hadn’t seen her in decades.
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Anon thinks normal experience is unique.
This sort of thing is exactly why I don't take naps anymore. It happened a few too many times and it’s genuinely a horrible experience. Incredibly vivid. I got the sensation I could feel my actual body being unable to move. So no more naps no matter how tired I am.
man the fuck up and explore the astral plane
Did you know that if you smoke weed every day, you will stop dreaming entirely? It messes with REM sleep, but it's the only way I can get any sleep at all; legalization was a quite a few years ago now where I live so I haven't had a dream in forever.
Just something to consider if you have easy access to cannabis in your jurisdiction.
I don’t think this is universal unfortunately, also legal where I live and I used daily for a couple years and I’d still have dreams.
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