this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] ReptilianCleric@lemmy.zip 5 points 48 minutes ago

Just for you, Jeff, I'm pushing every single walk button I see, especially when I'm not crossing the road.

[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

If it's real I think he should be sent to a re-education camp. America really needs them.

[–] Mossheart@lemmy.ca 3 points 32 minutes ago

Re-education implies there was education to begin with.

[–] onnekas@sopuli.xyz 26 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

While the dude who pressed the button witnessed 100 able, adult people sitting in a polluting metal box instead of walking, cycling or taking public transport.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 points 30 minutes ago

A polluting metal death machine. I've had 3 acquaintances die from being hit by some driver, and in at least 2 of those cases, the driver was younger than 25 (which is the age when your brain finishes maturing and you get better impulse control).

[–] Montagge@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 hour ago

I would love to do those instead of driving to work. Walking would take 14 hours, biking 4 hours, and the closest public transport I can get on is the same distance drive to work.

[–] bugbear@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 45 minutes ago

Still workshopping my idea of crossing lights for cars instead of pedestrians, but posts like that (satire or not) make me wish my idea became real.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

In my area all of those buttons are vestigial and the cross walks all go on timers.

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 18 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

I don't understand, isn't this the button you press if you want to cross? Are you not supposed to press the button?

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 19 points 2 hours ago (5 children)

In America pressing that button is considered a government handout. You're supposed to cross the street using common sense and determination. Real men don't even look to check when they cross the street because they have God on their side.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 3 points 29 minutes ago

If you're a true alpha, the drivers can sense it and they will stop for you.

[–] ElDuderino@lemmus.org 6 points 1 hour ago

A real American secures the crosswalk by firing his AR15.

[–] bugbear@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 47 minutes ago

The last part sounds like UK.

[–] saimen@feddit.org 3 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Isn't America the country where it's also illegal to cross the street without a dedicated pedestrian crossing thing

[–] absentbird@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Yes, it's a crime to cross without a crossing signal

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 2 points 57 minutes ago

It wasn’t, and maybe still isn’t in a lot of places, but auto manufacturers didn’t want to slow their customers down after all the pedestrian injuries/deaths so they invented jay-walking as more of a propaganda thing. It’s so ubiquitous though that law or not, it’s treated like it’s a high crime anyway.

[–] remotedev@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Frogger was training for real life

[–] Jtotheb@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

They’re saying the one person walking is being selfish because of how many more people in cars are being inconvenienced. The argument only makes sense if you ignore how we got here. It ignores how inconvenient cars have made getting around for people who actually live in the places they’re passing through and how the number of pedestrians is thus artificially low; it ignores that the only reason signals are necessary is because of how absolutely shitty and inconsiderate drivers are compared to pedestrians and cyclists; it’s only counting one person per car which is lower than the actual U.S. average of 1.5 people, but it’s unsurprising that this person considers a 5 passenger vehicle a perfectly reasonable mode of transportation for 100 individuals to be driving all by their lonesome, and unsurprising they don’t think about people who are using them differently.

In short, you’re looking at an asshole who has never even thought about their own opinion, let alone anyone else’s.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Of course it's satire. Do you think a driver found parking, got out of their car, and took that photo? Of course not. They have places to be! Urgently! Like sitting at the next red light.

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Looking at this guys wikipedia page and his whole life seems like a satire

[–] Orphanator@lemmy.world 3 points 29 minutes ago

Oh god, I took a peek and... Not surprised to see he's a raging racist and a cryptobro, who wants "less democracy".
What a train wreck of a person

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 1 points 22 minutes ago

You aren't kidding.

In April 2021, Kauffman was given access to Libertarian Party of New Hampshire (LPNH)'s official Twitter account soon after the state party was taken over by the Mises Caucus. Kauffman later made tweets on the LPNH account that received controversy, such as by calling for child labor to be legalized, for the Civil Rights Act to be repealed, and for the Guantanamo Bay detention camp to be reopened "so that Anthony Fauci and every governor that locked their state down can be sent there, never again to be allowed inside of the United States". The pro-child labor tweet specifically received pushback from 2012 and 2016 Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson, saying "This isn't what libertarianism means to millions of Americans". The tweets later partly resulted in the resignation of the national Libertarian Party leader Joe-Bishop Henchman. Kauffman defended his actions by saying the tweets were good for libertarians, and accused national party leadership of being "woke neoliberal globalists".

Wow. You know you're wild when even the Libertarian Party is like "Whoa, chief. Pump your breaks."

[–] XPost3000@lemmy.ml 37 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Making ~100 cars drive 30 minutes to work every day is the destruction of 50 hour of human life, 100 hours both ways, almost every single day, but apparently cars are freedom so 🤷

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 28 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

I'm pretty confident pushing the button actually doesn't do anything. You press the button and wait forever and eventually the lights change but they were gonna do that anyway.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 1 points 21 minutes ago

I know at least some of them work, because sometimes I'll be waiting there for the walk signal and it never appears, and I go "Oh, I forgot to push the button."

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 18 points 4 hours ago (5 children)

It depends on the intersection. Yes, some are a placebo, too many are token, but some actually work.

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 12 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I know for my nearby intersections, when the button is not pressed, even when the lights change, the walk signal will never illuminate.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

The one near my work extends the red light for long enough you can cross on foot & makes the walking signal & countdown appear.

It does not stop left turning cars from running us over though.

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[–] TryingToBeGood@reddthat.com 11 points 4 hours ago

if it's satire, it's not funny. If it isn't, he can eff right off.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I have similar thought processes as an adult pedestrian, and sometimes just cross without pressing the button because I'm not a child.

Then sometimes I think "do i really want to be the idiot that got ran over 10ft away from the pedestrian crossing lights?"

[–] 5318008@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

The more the traffic gets slowed down by pedestrians crossing, the more the city planners will look at the design of their intersections to improve safety.

Always hit the button, even if you're not going to wait for the light.

[–] HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 49 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

Raises a good point. So we should destroy those cars to make way for trams.

[–] ajikeshi@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

no... 30s of red light for cars, every 60s, fixed schedule... no wasted time since the drivers already calculated it in :D

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Trams that never brake because of the collective loss of efficiency that might happen. It's like the trolley problem except there's 50 people on the trolley and the amount of money lost by them being collectively late for work is worth the loss of life.

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[–] pedz@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 hours ago

Ok. I'll also push it when I'll be on the other side of the street, for the next pedestrians.

[–] SpatchyIsOnline@lemmy.world 19 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

This the same guy who made calls for child labour to be legalised and for the civil rights act to be repealed... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this isn't (deliberately) satire

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[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 30 points 6 hours ago

i'd like to see it the other way around, drivers have to get out and run over to press the beg button. At least they will be getting some exercise.

[–] LoafedBurrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

Sounds like a Linkedin post.

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