These fuckers rate pink lady a 90 but give granny smith a 57 and lemonade apples a 63? Lost their fucking minds; pink lady are just decent and are only saved by their price point. Can't even compete with modern hit-or-miss honeycrisp. No way in fuck are they the third-best apple variety.

Yeah, no shit lemonade apples don't taste like you're drinking lemonade. That's a problem for like the first one you eat if you're really susceptible to marketing, after which you can just enjoy them for what they are: a solidly above-average apple with a unique background lemony flavor that are fun to mix in with other apples.

The granny smith, meanwhile, is a fantastic pie apple and a great sour apple, and most of the review is spent whining endlessly about slightly thick skin (literally good for you, arguably one of an apple's few advantages health-wise over other fruits) and dense flesh. This rating in particular is deranged.

Edit: Holy shit, they rated pink lady a 3.5/5 on tartness. In what universe?? In. What. Fucking. Universe. It's got practically zero tartness.

Also, complete double standards. Granny smith gets basically its entire review dedicated to denigrating dense flesh and thick skin, but pink lady with its thick skin and dense flesh is called "dense enough to hammer a nail" by its review, and yet these two factors are only treated as mediocre on the bar graph whereas granny smith got a fat fucking 0 for both. What a hypocritical load of shit.

Came here for the apple love. Stayed for the absolute hate and vitriol.

Got curious. Opened the apple ranking. Checked Granny Smith. Closed the apple ranking.

Utterly useless.

Someone explain to me why Red Delicious is still a thing in a world of Cosmic Crisp?

What is with that website shilling for Sweetangos so hard?

Oh yay, I get to address my two favorite common misconceptions about the colonial US at once.

There is an element of truth in the assertion that Ben Franklin owned slaves, but it's mostly untrue. He participated in what he was taught to do from an early age, but seeing the effects of slavery first hand changed his mind. He spent the rest of his life as one of that era's most outspoken critics against slavery, even purchasing a printing press to print anti-slavery brochures and pamphlets.

https://benjaminfranklinhouse.org/education/benjamin-franklin-and-slavery/

George Washington's wooden teeth are a myth. Wood teeth certainly existed, but were extremely uncommon and only used by people who had nothing else. Most commonly, dentures of that era were made from ivory, animal teeth, or cadaver teeth.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington%27s_teeth

Isn't that the website that gives granny smith a rating far lower than it deserves?

Apples are so interesting because the old ones were definitely pretty bland, and not for eating fresh. More for cooking into pies, or cider. But also we’ve experienced some apple enshittification due to mass marketing/long distance shipping. Imo peak apple varietals for direct eating are ones that were popular in the 1920’s/30’s; in the context of the USA, these mean the orchards planted by New Deal/CCC operations are usually a good bet. Where I live there are a bunch of abandoned, semi-feral orchards from this era and it rules.

Fun site, but ranking Pink Lady higher than Braeburn should be considered a mental disorder.

What a joke of a site they don't even have a ranking for my favorite apple. Liberty (NY 55140-19) are great eating apples. The only problem with them: they're only in season once a year.

The most disappointing apple I’ve ever had was an Arkansas black (or might’ve been Alabama black). Cosmetically it’s a gorgeous apple. Nice and round and a deep shade a red, like what you’d expect to see used as a prop in a Snow White production. But when you bite into it it’s a sandy, mealy disgrace.

I'm allergic to apples and certain other fruits like cherries

Doctors usually don't believe it's a real allergy

Throat gets unbearably itchy after just a small bite

Cooked fruit is totally fine though like pies

Honeycrisp or GTFO.

More people need to try Opal Gold apples.

I have never witnessed so much spite in a single review and I’m so here for it

It's at 37 now.

Maybe it was their favorite apple because it's excellent for cider production?

I love the apple rankings site but remain ever a Honeycrisp ho. I never liked apples until one day I was pregnant and hungry and at Target they had out samples of apple - out of desperation I grabbed one and holy crap, it was everything an apple should be, nothing like anything I'd had before, and I worked at a natural foods store, we got the pink lady and cripps and gala, it's not like I had not tried to like apples.

It will ever be the Honeycrisp, the platonic ideal. Perfectly sweet, perfectly tart, and can be cooked in pies and taste good. I don't need any other apple. My coworker prefers the Cosmic Crisp but I don't.