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"I read that milk is good for your skin" she tells the milkman. "Can you bring me enough so I can take a milk bath?"

"Sure I can. Would you like it pasteurized?" He asks.

She thinks about it and says "No, just up to my shoulders"

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[-] Iusedtobeanalien@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Comes back with a tiny carton

He brought condensed

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago

I know we're simple people who enjoy simple jokes, but that's probably the best one I've seen in a long time.

[-] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago

He said "you want it pasteurised, 'cos pasteurised is best."

She said "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to me chest".

Benny Hill - Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)

[-] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago

Poor Ernie :(

[-] kip@piefed.zip 5 points 1 day ago

says on wikipedia that the song was written in 1955 so this joke is potentially 71 years old, but the oldest released version is from 1970: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef6edDwphhk&t=47s

it's a classic anyway

[-] UncleArthur@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

That takes me back a bit!

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago
[-] Ixoid@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago
[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Wow. Already working on the storyboard for the movie

There is so much wrong with this image that I don't know where to start.

[-] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

That toilet is disgusting.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

100% this is in the backrooms somewhere.

[-] TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago

Everything looks so grimy. I hope these dudes brought their own towels.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

I'm really hoping it's an art project and people aren't just volunteering to go to what's clearly an old lady murder house.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

and tetanus shots.

[-] lena@gregtech.eu 13 points 2 days ago

Lmao I love his expression

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

"Twenty dollars is twenty dollars."

Although, the rope next to tub suggests that this may be pro bono on his part.

[-] Juniper@piefed.zip 9 points 2 days ago

Why is the rope going under the bathtub?

[-] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

Why is there rope?

[-] johntwinkletits@fedinsfw.app 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it in my eyes.

From South Park.

[-] Ffkhrocks@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

First time I heard this joke was here. At about 50 seconds South Park - Milk Man

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

This is the second milk joke. What is going on.

[-] fonix232@fedia.io 5 points 2 days ago

Big mommy milker tiddies has been the topic for the past ~36 hours. Milk jokes just bring themselves at this point.

[-] Carrots@quokk.au 4 points 2 days ago

People want to use the past your eyes joke again and it’s too soo.

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

but no one drinks past your eyes any more!

The milk is clearly below the eyes!

[-] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

Is that sprem samples?

[-] 4am@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago

Harvested from fallen IDF solders

[-] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I don't get it. I read it as "past-the-waist" - the answer should be "Yes, up to my shoulders".

[-] Syrc@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

I think it’s “past your eyes”

[-] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Oh damn, thanks, I tried to find another mispronunciation-understanding but didn't think of that. Past-you-ized, okay, I was obviously reading "past-yer-wized"

[-] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2026
216 points (97.4% liked)

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