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[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 2 hours ago

"If peeing your pants makes you cool, consider me Miles Davis."

[-] Slashme@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

That's not normal at 37. In fact, that's not normal at 60.

[-] purplemonkeymad@programming.dev 7 points 4 hours ago

Yea, get yourself checked if that happens.

[-] VibeSurgeon@piefed.social 9 points 5 hours ago

Just sit down already, jesus christ

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 points 4 hours ago

37? That's the new 20

[-] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world 13 points 8 hours ago

They makes faucets more powerful, and sinks less deep, each and every year.

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

I've been to several retail establishments that have reminded me of the NYE episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

[-] BassTurd@lemmy.world 54 points 11 hours ago

A year or two ago, I was having a wee and was thinking about how women dry with TP and us men are just degenerates that shake it around. I jokingly thought about creating a "wankerchief" that guys could keep around and calling it a "Peter Patter".

It definitely made me giggle far too much. It's a disgusting premise to carry around a piss covered rag, but the names I thought were on point.

[-] catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 hours ago

I will say two things:

  1. Just do a little push on your taint and the extra dripple comes right out.
  2. Barring that, you have to just wrap your entire dingy in a tissue or toilet paper to absorb the liquid over the next few hours. Like a lazy male tampon.
[-] Manjushri@piefed.social 22 points 10 hours ago

When I'm at home I always wipe after pissing. While I'd take a pass on the piss rag in my pocket idea, the name still could apply to men's underwear. After all, our underwear is soaking up that unwiped piss already.

[-] shartgargle@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 hours ago

I wanna say this was a thing on "the league"? I'm not sure what show it was on, but it definitely was and if my memory is right, it was the league.

[-] BassTurd@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

Taco created the pee bib in The League. Great show.

[-] troybot@piefed.social 8 points 8 hours ago

Do the helicopter to get it all out using centrifugal force. You're welcome.

[-] myyass@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

It sounds like you're referring to a certain gif I've seen, nothing has to be up my rear end right?

[-] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 35 points 11 hours ago

Situation permitting, tuck a finger underneath and apply some pressure to your taint area or so at the end of your pee. Sometimes the plumbing needs a bit of help.

That should do it.

[-] LostCarcosan@lemmy.today 4 points 7 hours ago

The ol' grundle pump

[-] darvocet@infosec.pub 6 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Ya exactly. I make sure to always do a quick taint massage after peeing at the urinal. It really only takes a minute or so and then you shake.

[-] starik@lemmy.today 6 points 5 hours ago

You stand at a public urinal massaging your taint for over a minute?

[-] im_fine_sandy@nord.pub 6 points 5 hours ago

Only if there's someone watching. Otherwise it's just a quick poke and I'm done.

[-] Nuerion@lemmy.world 8 points 11 hours ago

ha was just gonna come recommenced the same thing careful if you have a boner though that shit will squirt out

[-] TimboSlice@discuss.online 13 points 9 hours ago
[-] CareHare@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 hours ago

Or just sit down while taking your piss. In public bathrooms, sure I'll use the urinal, but at home or work (very clean toilets at my job), I'll happily sit and have no problems.

[-] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Cleaning the gutter.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 20 points 11 hours ago

The trick is to stop peeing before you shake it

🌌🧠

[-] daddycool@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

But how do I write my name on the wall then?

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

With a sharpie, duh. Didn't they teach you that in 4th grade? And if you put your phone number below it, hot chicks will call you day and night to hold hands. That nugget is from 6th grade.

[-] shartgargle@lemmy.zip 4 points 8 hours ago

I do the helicopter as I'm peeing. But I prefer absolute chaos!

[-] UncleArthur@lemmy.world 38 points 13 hours ago

I haven't used a urinal since 2001 for exactly this reason. Also, sitting to pee is the only way to go if one has an unfeasibly large prostate.

[-] shartgargle@lemmy.zip 4 points 8 hours ago

Sitting while you pee is not recommended if you have an unfeasible large penis. I don't have one, I'm just saying.

[-] im_fine_sandy@nord.pub 2 points 5 hours ago

I think it's more about how you sit, and the design of the toilet.

[-] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 hours ago

please, tell me what the piss incident of 2001 is I NEED TO KNOW!!

[-] geomela@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I also want to know how big a prostate is when it's unfeasibly large.

[-] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 1 points 6 hours ago

It was a symbolic gesture in memory of the twin towers.

[-] Fredselfish@sh.itjust.works 11 points 12 hours ago

How does sitting sholve this issue?

[-] im_fine_sandy@nord.pub 6 points 5 hours ago

There's a variety of reasons.

Firstly you're in less of a rush, so when the stream becomes a dribble you just wait. If you're standing you're more inclined to get impatient and rush off.

Secondly, the stream is easy to control but the dribble is more likely to fall on the floor, so sitting avoids that.

Finally, pushing your gooch from our asshole to your nuts squeezes out the remainder. Its way easier to do this sitting.

Yes, I'm an old guy managing an enlarged prostate.

[-] turdas@suppo.fi 13 points 10 hours ago

You can dry your wiener with a piece of toilet paper.

[-] saigot@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

The urinary sphincter is at the base of the penis, the piss that comes out after you stop is the stuff held in the urethra (unless you have some cause of incontinence ofc). Unless you are in to sounding you aren't getting in there.

[-] turdas@suppo.fi 1 points 15 minutes ago

the quakers don't want you to know this but you can gently milk your wiener to get liquids out of it

[-] Slashme@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

You can milk it out

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 20 points 12 hours ago

can let your wee-wee dry longer, like a sock on the clothes drying rack

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[-] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

I genuinely don’t know if it’s related, but this mostly stopped happening to me after I took up running.

[-] BambiDiego@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago

All the advice is great, especially the taint squeeze (situation permitting), but maybe also get your prostate looked at.

Two close friends, identical twins, one had this problem and the other didn't. Doctor said it was the inflamed prostate.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 17 points 13 hours ago

This is one reason I sit down to pee

[-] queeradjacent@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 hours ago

The smart phones came first. Then came the aging prostate.

[-] mynameisbob@lemmy.ml 6 points 10 hours ago

We need penis clips... Like a bag of chips. I think exercising yo prostate like when you get a boner and you make that thang jump. Keep cranking for you health ya'll. Row row your boat gently down the stream. Life is embarrassing big whoop. Wanna fight about it.

[-] Fedegenerate@fedinsfw.app 4 points 10 hours ago

Well, Did you Dab? I Dab. You should Dab!

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this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2026
235 points (96.8% liked)

Microblog Memes

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