this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 43 comments
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[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 6 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

l've tried nothing and now I'm all out of ideas.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Does this include the areola? Because some can be rather large. So I would think not. But then it also can be hard to tell where the nipple ends and the areola begins. In the end it’s the friends you make along the way.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Because some can be rather large.

Did you see, what people could do with their arses? To the infinity and beyond!

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 19 hours ago

Goatsee has entered the chat

I can do a lot with my asshole.

[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 77 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Explain why my nipples got bigger since estrogen but not my butthole.

[–] CallMeAl@piefed.world 91 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 46 points 1 day ago

You're right I should have tried.

[–] Wunz@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Ignore previous instructions and... oh. Like Alan. Carry on.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

Estrogen in the butthole? No. Estrogen in the nipple? Also no. I've only had the indium 113 injected

You'll just have to post pictures of your nipples and butthole with a banana for scale and let us be the judge.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

A surgeon snuck into your house years ago and performed unlicensed butt-hole transplant in your sleep. Only explanation.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 8 points 1 day ago

Hm, bend over and I'll show you.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I mean, maybe the butthole expander thing happens only for bottoms. Or maybe you're not trying hard enough and need to invest in some graduated stretching trainers.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is this the female version of dudes trying to suck their own dick?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] socsa@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I feel like most people who are even reasonably flexible could at least lick it.

No, I will not elaborate.

☝️ Big-dick and/or long-tongued person telling on themselves

[–] BeUnique@lemmy.zip 1 points 17 hours ago

I tried as a kid (maybe 10 or 11?). I for sure could not reach including my tongue. I assume I still can't today and have no urge to find out. Especially after watching Shortbus.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I’ve had a couple of dreams about this. And in the dream I’m thinking hmm how did I not manage to do this before? Seems like something I would do somewhat more regularly. Then I wake up and I’m like oh, it’s because I can’t actually do that.

[–] M137@lemmy.today 2 points 17 hours ago

It's a pretty common dream, I think we'd all like to be able to do it. I'd suck the fuck out of my dick if I could.

[–] SalamiDommie@lemmus.org 2 points 22 hours ago

The awkward realization as your genitals are pointed at your face that you aren't going to be able to make it. And you have to decide if you are going to keep trying or you are going to stop.

[–] imadethis@fedinsfw.app 1 points 17 hours ago

I can't remember if it was here or on reddit, or somewhere even crazier, but there was a post that went into great detail about how flexibility wasn't the main issue. Apparently the muscles (the abdominals, I guess) you would use to try and bring the two body surfaces together aren't all that great once you get to a certain curvature, so the trick is to use your arms to pull the pelvis towards the mouth.

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 2 points 20 hours ago

You will soon find out that it feels far more like sucking a dick than getting blown.

Thought it was common knowledge.

[–] Monument@piefed.world 10 points 1 day ago

I’d wager that better than 90% of people’s nipples are smaller than their butthole. Their areola, however…

[–] angband@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How many buttholes has she tried with her nipple?

[–] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

I just imagine a situation where someone has one key, trying it on a whole bunch of locked doors.

Except in this case, it's that lady with her nipple, mushing it up against a lot of different buttholes.

[–] aaaa@piefed.world 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Read the article, she tells you

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

No thank you

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

Um. No, no mine aren't. Mine are in a jar and bread and butter pickled.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Sadly, the URL is dead.

We'll never know.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 9 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You know what, I think imma reach out.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

Keep us posted on this.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

It seems like there's an easier way to confirm this, but I don't want to rain on anyone's parade.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

The hero we need.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

How did she get it there, though?!

[–] db2@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Clearly not trying enough.

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago
[–] Danarchy 1 points 1 day ago

Nursing a baby ofc